Being a friend to my husband

Thursday, December 11, 2014
If you've ever read the "sparks fly" tab of my blog, you know that Justin and I had very little time to develop a friendship in the whopping six months of courting,marriage proposals, and moving 3,000 miles. Over the years we have developed a beautiful friendship with one another (aside from marriage), and as the friendship grows, I realize just how important it is to maintain that relationship. This past summer I experienced some very strong growing pains between my husband and I. I don't think I shared too much with my readers, but it was the first time that I actually questioned wether or not I was seeing eye to eye with the man I married. It was scary, it was real, and it was my life this past July. Justin developed a brief hobby with a motorcycle, and I did not support it in any way. Here I had a man that was over the moon and excited about something new, and his wife didn't reciprocate the emotions.

I know it hurt him. It hurt me that I couldn't be happy about something that clearly gave my husband joy. Looking back at that time made me realize that what my husband really needed (aside from the list of why motorcycles were a "no no" and the constant nagging), was a friend. He needed me to gush about how exciting it was for him to be doing something for JUSTIN. He needed me to realize that although motorcycles are dangerous, so is going to a third world country for WAR. He wanted me to ask to be apart of his new hobby, so we could share parts of it together. He needed the friend in his wife to emerge, and she didn't.

Once we hashed out the growing pains, expressed how we felt, and got back to our love.. I realized that more than ever, our friendship needed to be made just as important of a priority in our lives, for always! These days, I make it a point to be a good friend to the man I love so dearly. Even with his busy schedule, we talk ALL day long. This isn't something new, but it's a lot more than just "I love you baby" or Ava bug talk. We talk about everything. Sport scores, news articles, farting (I'm not kidding).. you name it, anything under the moon.. we discuss it. We comfort each other in different ways now. Instead of the immediate overprotective husband or wife mode.. we actually evaluate the support we give. I get excited to share gossip with him, church news with him, blog posts with him. We are genuinely excited about the trivial things we do. These are all things you do in a marriage, I guess we've just sort of incorporated all that would occur in a friendship.

I also noticed the added bonus of honesty that comes with having a friendship. When you marry someone, you don't purposely put your foot in your mouth with your spouse... with your friend, you do.. and that's perfectly okay. I can't tell you how completely honest (and embarrassing) this can be at times, but it can be necessary! I guess the best part is knowing that in my heart, he's the first person I want to share everything about my life with. I get up, and I'm giddy knowing that I'll find a missed call or text from him. I'm excited that I get to see him in "X" amount of hours.. Yes, as my husband.. but also because he's my best friend. That's the point of this blog. To remind myself that a man entrusted his heart in his wife, and his friend. It's okay to respond differently, according to what his needs are.

Photo Cred: Ashley Currin Photography

How many of my readers have found it important to develop a friendship with their spouses? What are some of the things you do to allow your friendships within your relationships to grow? I'd love to hear from you below in the comments or by email.

** You can easily access my email icon on the right side of my blog**

Happy Thursday all!

♥- Leilani

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