Friday, April 17, 2015
Today marks one month until my little girl turns two years old, and it all feels unreal. I'm currently sitting here, writing this, letting tears roll down my face. My sweet Ava bug, how did we get here already? I distinctly remember writing my little one a letter while I was pregnant, and now that I know who my daughter is, it's only appropriate that I write her another one.

Ava bug,

My sweet, brown eyed, curly haired, wild child. I couldn't write this without first telling you how much I love you. I mean, mommy really loves you baby. From the first time I held those sweet hands in mine, to the moments where I watch you jump, run, and play... I have enjoyed each and every moment with you. Yes, even those middle of the night E.R. trips we've made. You snuggle into my chest every time you are sick and all I can think is how I wish I could keep you safe like that for always. Watching you grow has been not only a privilege for me, but an instant wake up call. You came into my life, and you made me new. I hope you know that. Before you, I knew what love from daddy felt like, but I never knew what an untainted, knowingly unbreakable, and completely everlasting love felt like. I'm glad I do now. I'm grateful for you baby girl. We've definitely had our growing pains in these last two years. You became more defiant, and  I had to work on my patience with that ... overall, I don't think we are doing too shabby. You look both ways before crossing the street now, and I try not to grip your had too tight when we are out exploring. Letting go of that little hand is much more than letting you explore. It's an indication that you are growing, and I'm literally letting you out of my grasp. I know, I know... we aren't fully there yet. Mama is just dramatic (another lovely trait you got from me). You got daddy's courage and his fearless demeanor. You are not afraid of anything. Heights, worms, (newly) wet grass.. You name it, you do it! I love that about you most. You, my dear are most definitely my free spirit. I sometimes watch you sway in the breeze or the mist from the ocean, and I just fall apart. You are everything baby. You are every good day I have, and I know that seems like a HUGE deal, but you do so by just waking up in the  morning. When you smile.. don't get me started. That smile of yours could end wars. I've said this before, but only because it's entirely true. Here lately your favorite book has been "I love you more" By Laura Duksta. When I say, I love you more than the highest bird ever flew, you giggle in delight. When I say, I love you more, so much more than you've ever known, you hug and kiss me. Those moments are my favorite. I hope you stay this sweet forever. I keep thinking about how "perfect" I'm trying to be for you, and even though I'll always come up short on that, it makes me smile knowing that one day you will see how hard daddy and I worked to be the best for YOU. You are already so appreciative, and It warms my heart to see that at such an early age Ava bug. Please baby girl, always be grateful. Always be compassionate. Never feel entitled, and always give more than you take. I already see all of those things in the making with you. I couldn't be more proud to call you my child. My little game changer.

Xo, Mama Bear

Ava bug at just four days old. 
Photo Cred: VSP

♥- Leilani

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