Pinterest Mom

Sunday, October 27, 2019

I am not a "Pinterest mom"... I am not a "super mom"... though we live in a culture where women, more specifically, mothers, are made to feel as if they have to have every single aspect of life perfectly together.

The pressure to be perfect, especially as a mother, is absolutely real. Not only is it real, but it is also crippling. I would be lying if I said I had never scrolled the pages of Pinterest looking at all the things I fell short of. Six years ago, when Ava was in her infancy, I caught myself doing just that. I was consumed with all of these beautiful ideas and immediately I was discouraged because I knew my creative limitations. I thought to myself, will I ever be the mom Ava deserves? How can I achieve all of this? God gave me the most supportive husband and before those thoughts could even fully leave my lips, he reassured me that the only person's opinion that truly mattered was that of our daughter. I have never wavered from that notion and it fueled me to be exactly what I needed for my child, not the approval stamp from Pinterest (with their perfect mom aesthetics) -- or anything else for that matter.

So, for the last six years, I've put everything I've got into my kiddo. Now, three kiddos. I wake up and dedicate myself to them, our home, their father, and myself, of course. Some days I feel like I can do it all. My home is neat as a pin, college work is completed ahead of time, laundry is all folded, the kids' meals are perfectly made, gymnastics, swim, ballet, and all the other activities we subscribe to are attended on time, Justin and I get quality time together, etc. etc. Other days, and I do have those other days, I am counting down until bedtime. Other days, my alarm might not go off, I am rushing to get Ava to school, throwing together a last minute lunch -- my toddlers won't nap, I have no time for homework, I'm arguing with my husband, my child falls down the stairs (yep, that happened this summer)... you get the picture. I have a feeling this is how it goes for most mamas. We have great days, like everyone else, but we are also subject to the rough ones. If you are looking for the point of this post... here it goes.

Alongside the pressure to be a perfect mom, you also have the backlash from moms that are pointing their fingers at women who seem to be a "Pinterest mom" in their eyes. Which, I'm not sure if its a defense mechanism to make it okay to be less than "Pinteresty" OR a direct hit because they feel as though you are doing more than them and they need a buffer? I still haven't figured that out yet. But let me tell you ladies something, YOU DO NOT NEED A BUFFER. So own that. I am a mom that wakes up almost an hour early every single weekday to make my daughter's lunch. Your kid eats lunch from school? Great! Looks like both of our kids will be eating lunch today. I put my children in as many activities and sports as they'd like (and that our schedule can permit) because I believe its imperative for social, physical, and exposure benefits. I also love supporting their desire to try and possibly execute new skills. Your child doesn't play sports or participate in activities because you both like your after school time together? Great! Looks like our kiddos have loving parents that know what they need. Do you see my point?

Criticizing others for all that they do, or lack-thereof, is the most counterproductive energy we can put out into the universe. Mama, please believe me when I say, anything I share, anything I upload to social media, anything I say -- it is not fueled behind trying to "one up" anyone, chase that Pinterest mom ideal, or appeal to anyone outside of my babies. I am driven by the happiness, safety, and growth of my kids. That's all I need. In the same breath, if you are one of those mamas using this buffer, please, give yourself grace. If you aren't able to "do it all" (whatever that truly means) or simply don't want to do all the things, then OWN that. This motherhood is yours and the only people you have to worry about are the littles one you brought into the world. If they are happy, loved, content, and safe -- why does anything else matter? I think it's safe to say that mamas (and papas) are doing their absolute best to raise good humans. Why are those not the pins we seem to compare ourselves to on Pinterest?

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