Wednesday, July 22, 2020

It's Wednesday, July 22nd, 2020, and I have this feeling that I'm pregnant.
It's crazy. I still cannot test for 8 more days... but I'm hoping my mama instinct isn't wrong here. I've had a lot of cramping post ovulation and I'm been using the bathroom more frequently than I have (since the last time I was pregnant). It's strange to me how your body can feel these things so early on. I really hope its not my strong desire to be pregnant getting the best of me right now. As of today, I know a couple of things that are true. I ovulated on July 18th, 2020, OR early morning July 19th, 2020 if we are going by that 24-36 hour window of ovulation. I took a few ovulation tests to verify and they all came back positive. I wasn't sure if I was going to test the trigger HCG shot out of my system but I did find myself taking two pregnancy tests just to see those positive lines. I ultimately decided that I don't want to torture myself and test out the trigger shot. I did this when we got pregnant with Liam and I legit didn't even believe that I was pregnant until bloodwork was actually done. So, here I am, waiting out these next 8 days. 8 days stand between us and finding out if our family will be growing.

Fertility is SO nerve-wracking, no matter how many kids you have. The kids have continued to ask if there is a baby in my belly and I so wish I could give them an answer. I've also thought about if this cycle is a bust and I'm not pregnant... I really don't know if my heart or Justin's heart is up for trying another cycle. The way things worked out for the month of July was pretty perfect for us and certainly felt like the "right time" to try a cycle. Justin was on leave for two weeks, I naturally started my own menstrual, I immediately got to go into my RE's office and get a baseline ultrasound. I watched my lining thicken, my follicles grow, and everything has just been fairly smooth this go-round. The only other baby we conceived on the first try was Ava. Wouldn't it be ironic to end our trying to conceive days on the same note?

We will see. That's all I can. Fingers are crossed though. I'm feeling so hopeful. Hopefully, that hope isn't for nothing.

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