Compassion Reassignment

Monday, December 9, 2019

This feels all too familiar but all very foreign at the same time.

Six years ago, we found out that my mom's illness was terminal and her time left on earth would be even more limited than the diagnosis we were initially told. I knew that I needed to be with my mom during that time and with very little research done, Justin put in for a compassion reassignment with his unit. For those of you who aren't military savvy, this is an option offered to service members in response to a family emergency, hardship, or any other qualifying situation that would warrant a soldier's presence. That unique situation still resulted in an approval from HRC and rather than fulfilling his orders to Fort Hood, Texas, we moved to Washington -- where we would remain for the following two years. My mom did pass during that time. I'm so thankful we got that time.

Fast forward to now. Justin's mom has breast cancer. She got a double mastectomy a couple of months ago and she is actively receiving chemo treatments. During our visit to New York, we were afforded a lot of family time. Something I know that we needed, especially since we hadn't been to New York in over three years. Something was stirring in my husband and I could feel it strongly. It wasn't until the tail end of our trip that Justin asked me how I felt about the potential of a compassion reassignment so we could be closer to (or in) New York due to his mom being sick.

I won't lie you guys, my internal reaction was pretty bad. I have zero desire to move to New York. I love to visit, I love seeing my husband's extended family, and I absolutely love seeing all of the special places that made Justin, Justin... but outside of that... I don't have a desire to be there. There have been other opportunities in Justin's career that could have afforded us a New York move and we've never acted on it. For me, that's saying something and i'm sure it aided in my internal freak out for sure. Anyways, though I may have been thinking all of these things inside, I didn't say them. Instead, I went over all of the necessary elements involved with a move like this (across the country). I told Justin he had my support and I ultimately left the ball in his court, where it belongs. When it was my mom, there was zero hesitation. He did this huge thing for me, my mom... our family and potentially thwarted his career moves. It seems only fair that I return the favor.

When I tell you guys this has been huge lately, it has been huge. I've cried, called friends and cried, thought about the "what ifs" -- though I know they can apply to any big Army move for us, and I've thought about what a move like this would mean for our family dynamic. We've been able to create a nice, cushy exposure controlled bubble for our kids for the last six years... does that all change because we are exposing them to people and places we can't control? There are so many unknowns here and I know most of them stem from lack of familiarity and comfortability on my end. Even still, I know I have to remain supportive on this one. It's hard though. It takes 30 days (or less) to receive an approved compassion reassignment which means that our lives could be forever changed (yet again) in a month's time. It's insane to think about.

Post a Comment