I wish we lived in a world that was FREE of boxing our children into "gender norms". What does that even mean, anyway?
Colors, subjects, glitter -- are those all contingent upon if you are male or female? This idea has proven to be so challenging in my own home lately and trying to explain it to small children is even more challenging. When the school year started, Ava's love of dinosaurs was brought into question because "she's a girl" and dinosaurs are for boys. I can't tell you how much work Justin and I continuously put in each and every day to remind Ava that loving dinosaurs is for everyone -- and there is nothing wrong with her for loving them so much. Her dreams of paleontology will not cease to exist because of the fallacies that people choose to project onto their kids, who in turn try and protect them from mine. That incident was just the first of a handful that has brought out the painful realization that this trend in our society is absolutely impacting our youth, completely. When we shop for Ava's dinosaur clothes -- they are in the boy section. The girl's section (thank you, Target) has shown us a few things, but of course, they are covered in pink and glitter sequin almost always. When we are on the hunt for a brachiosaurus or an apatosaurus, they are never next to Barbies or the Melissa & Doug kitchen sets... they are also in the boy section. When Olivia asks to be Daddy's favorite superhero, we don't look for outfit choices between the sun hat and clip-on accessories... yep, we head over to the boy section.
While I will always advocate for my girls and remind them that they can like whatever they want to like, I will also advocate for my little boy in the process. Because while society continues to tell my girls to stay in their "highlighter pink gender lane" society is also telling my son (already) to be a tough, shark-loving, Tonka truck-driving "little tike" as an elderly woman once said to us in public. It's easy for me to empower my girls because I am a girl. This is a movement I've been a part of since before I had kids... but what about our boys? My son's hair is growing beautifully and it is getting so long! I put a ponytail in his hair and I thought his daddy was going to have a heart attack. To be fair, Justin was raised by a father that would say things like "Do you want a dress with that too, Nancy?" when he asked to do things or said things outside of what his father thought was acceptable for a boy. So, it wasn't a total shocker when he responded that way about his son in a ponytail. But, in the same breath, I watch my husband watch our son play with baby dolls. He watches his care for them, kisses them, and tote them around. Liam loves playing with the girl's doll house and often finds himself on a pink florescent Disney frozen couch, reading a Minnie mouse tea book or something. He doesn't discriminate. A fun-looking toy is one he wants to play with. I also watch the way my husband loves our boy. He calls him honey, and he kisses his head and cheeks the same way that he did with our girls. He cuddles and loves on him -- both when he's happy and when he's upset.
When I think about those things, I know we are doing right by our babies. Ava has the makings of a STEM major and I want nothing more than to support her and provide her all the tools we are capable of to make her pursuits come true. Olivia is such a defiant, strong-minded, intelligent little girl -- she doesn't subscribe to just one or anything and I want her to forever know, that is completely okay. Liam is still young, but I hope that nurturing behavior he displays is always a constant for him. My son will know talking about our feelings, expressing himself, loving people, and playing with dolls is absolutely normal, healthy, and okay with us.
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