Pregnancy: Week 13

Thursday, October 8, 2020

My little melon.

I'll be fourteen weeks pregnant in just three days and this update will officially mark the first time I've shared an in-depth insight about this pregnancy with you guys. For that, I apologize! I've never waited so long to dish about pregnancy milestones, but if you've read some of my previous blogs, you know why that is. So many factors have been different this time around, even outside of health scares. Baby #4 has kept us on a rollercoaster of emotions the last 13 weeks but even still, it is absolutely in my nature to write about it. I'm hoping this serves as a bit of healing in the process as well. This little babe is our little watermelon. I frequently call baby melon and I just love it. This has been my hardest pregnancy to date (another twin loss, with one not being viable at all *tubal*), pain management regiments (against how I feel about medication during pregnancy), and really just being fearful of the unknown. With all that we are up against, I am totally giving myself grace for how I feel.. or maybe how I don't feel. 

How far Along: 13 weeks

Nicknames for baby: Our little melon, miracle babe, 

Size of baby: Baby is as big as a lemon

Gender Prediction: For the first time ever, we have no idea

Symptoms: Acid reflux, bits of morning sickness, daily nausea, headaches 

Best moment this week: Not waking up and immediately vomiting 

Movement: I felt the baby kick the fetal doppler when we were tracking a heartbeat! But big movements will likely be awhile (anterior placenta). 

Food Cravings: Coca-Cola (it helps with the reflux, surprisingly) which is odd because I hate Coke

Food Aversions: No food sounds tasty. I try and eat because I have to but other than that... bleh

What I Miss: A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. I cannot sleep to save my life

Sleep: What is that? 

Justin: More than ever before (and that is saying a lot, truly), this man has been a flippin' rockstar dad + partner. For over a month, he took care of me and the kids without much help from me at all. Any time I was throwing up, he was there to rub my back and help me get cleaned up. Any time I needed a drink, a puke bag, help in the shower -- he was there. Meanwhile, he was balancing helping our remote learner, our pre-k goer, and our terrible two's tot. He will forever go down in history as the most rad dad on the planet. 

What I am looking forward to this week: I am looking forward to more days filled with less upchucking. I am looking forward to feeling how I "normally" feel in pregnancy instead of guilty and resentful. I guess I'm just looking forward to feeling more like me and less of this scared and bitter version of myself. 

Happy or moody most of the time: I would say I'm definitely moody. I've been harboring a lot of fear, anger, and heavy feelings. I hate reading that back to myself but it is so important, to be honest about this time and i intend to let you all ride the highs with me along with the lows. 

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