RESET: Marriage Addition

Thursday, September 5, 2019

My saving grace, my humble pie, my redemption.
This is the ONE tool Justin and I have kept in our toolbox all these years and I truly believe this is how we survive the woes and tribulations of a relationship. We are closing in on a decade as an item (next summer) and I've just come to terms with the fact that there are always going to be moments where we are just flat out cranky, nitpick one another, or experience those seasons where we aren't getting along very well. Whenever we are in one of those three places, we both know when to call a "reset" for that moment, day, etc. Just last Saturday we had this happen after staying up way past our parental bedtime. Justin and I both were being given breakfast orders from the kids (they came down SO much earlier than they normally do) and neither one of us wanted to get out of bed. We both shot one another the, "not it" eyes but like the gentleman he is, of course, he let me stay in bed while he tended to the needs of our kiddos.

When we were in the throws of our Saturday, I could feel that our energy was off. He was being snarky, I was being overly sensitive to simply requests - it was a recipe for a not so awesome day. Before things spiraled over something small, before hurt feelings were brought into the mix - Justin called a reset. He came over to me in the kitchen and just hugged me. He whispered in my ear, "Can we start over today? I love you." And you know what? That's all it really takes for us. In this scenario, the stakes weren't super high so it was easy to forgive, hug him back, and go about our day. Of course, we could have gone on to have a rough day and I know we would have recovered from ONE bad Saturday together. But what about seven bad days? A month? Three months? I know accountability and forgiveness take place within a *RESET* but for the most part... it's one person making that move. Luckily, we both seem to call for resets when we deem them necessary and they are so dang effective! For this, I am forever grateful.

Coming from the #damagedkidclub (coined by, at least from my knowledge, the lovely Tazshia G.) sometimes means that you don't know how to navigate relationships in the healthiest forms. I can definitely raise my hand to that notion for the better part of my adolescence and young adult life. Relearning love, respect, healthy, and "resets" in my adult life has been more than an eye-opener. It has changed my life and my relationships for sure. So, to those that continue to ask how Justin and I are able to "make this work" - this one is for you. If you haven't found a formula that includes putting a stop to the madness, drama, or tension, give THIS a try! It hasn't failed us yet.

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