I will always support you. No matter what.
Support Them Through Anything
Friday, October 18, 2019
Friday, April 14, 2017
After a heart wrenching conversation I had with a friend of mine this week, this post just seems fitting. We were discussing children, their relationship with their parents, and the impact the relationship (or lack thereof) has on a child. In the mists of talking about generalizations, we started discussing more personal information. I started talking about my husband because of a conversation that took place the night before. Justin and I were discussing his day and the things that occurred. He then shared that a battle buddy of his was asking questions about Justin's family and Justin quickly noticed that he could not answer some of the questions he was being asked. My husband said he just brushed it off casually stating that his family wasn't close. The dynamic of their family wasn't "that way". I could tell that saying that out loud to someone probably bothered my husband a bit. After taking some of this in.. I asked one question. I said, "Do you want a more personal relationship with your father?" His reply? "It is what it is. Can't change the past. I'm just going to be the best damn father to the children we have. I'll be personal with my kids."
My heart broke. Literally. It just broke. My husband is an incredible man. He's smart, funny, independent, caring, giving, goal driven, just an extraordinary human being. I can't even fathom that ANYONE would not want to be personal with this man. Especially his father? A man biologically connected to him. I didn't push the issue after I heard his reply. I just sat there and let the heavy feelings resonate with me. A moment or two after, I started thinking about my own dad. My father that has literally fought tooth and nail to have a strong, PERSONAL relationship with me my entire life. I was by no means an easy child - a precocious babe, but difficult as well. Getting close to me has been such an uphill battle for my dad (product of divorce and not understanding how to organize my emotions) and even still, my dad has always made his presence known and he always extended the classic disclaimer, "I am here if you need me. I am here if you want to talk. I am here, Leilani. I always have been."
I thought about the conversations I've had with my dad throughout my adolescence and adulthood. I've come to my dad to talk about sex, love, breastfeeding, and loss - topics most probably have never discussed with their fathers. I thought about my 16 year old self telling my dad I wanted to be put on birth control - but begging him not to tell my mom about our conversation. I remember having my heart broken and crying on my dad's couch because I just didn't know what to do. I clung to his advice like listening and following would make everything alright. I remember the first time I took Justin to meet my dad. He met my dad before he met my mom. I wasn't surprised when my dad welcomed him with open arms. I had expected him to. Since marriage and becoming a mom, our conversations have changed, but never lessened in depth or "personal" touches. Instead we talk about grieving after losing my mom, uterine surgeries, and the "What ifs" in life. He tells me how proud he is of me, my family, and his favorite son (running joke since Justin is the only "son" he has).
Going down memory lane reminded me that even though my dad doesn't have to take care of me the same way he once did, appreciation needs to be given. So many like my husband don't have the same relationship dynamics that I have with my father. It makes me sad, but it also reminds me to be grateful. My dad has never put limitations on the things we discuss or the things we share. He has never put up walls with me, He has always let me know that we can talk about anything. So thank you, dad. Thank you for always being personal with me. I am a better woman for it and my children will be better humans for it as well.
♥- Leilani
My heart broke. Literally. It just broke. My husband is an incredible man. He's smart, funny, independent, caring, giving, goal driven, just an extraordinary human being. I can't even fathom that ANYONE would not want to be personal with this man. Especially his father? A man biologically connected to him. I didn't push the issue after I heard his reply. I just sat there and let the heavy feelings resonate with me. A moment or two after, I started thinking about my own dad. My father that has literally fought tooth and nail to have a strong, PERSONAL relationship with me my entire life. I was by no means an easy child - a precocious babe, but difficult as well. Getting close to me has been such an uphill battle for my dad (product of divorce and not understanding how to organize my emotions) and even still, my dad has always made his presence known and he always extended the classic disclaimer, "I am here if you need me. I am here if you want to talk. I am here, Leilani. I always have been."
I thought about the conversations I've had with my dad throughout my adolescence and adulthood. I've come to my dad to talk about sex, love, breastfeeding, and loss - topics most probably have never discussed with their fathers. I thought about my 16 year old self telling my dad I wanted to be put on birth control - but begging him not to tell my mom about our conversation. I remember having my heart broken and crying on my dad's couch because I just didn't know what to do. I clung to his advice like listening and following would make everything alright. I remember the first time I took Justin to meet my dad. He met my dad before he met my mom. I wasn't surprised when my dad welcomed him with open arms. I had expected him to. Since marriage and becoming a mom, our conversations have changed, but never lessened in depth or "personal" touches. Instead we talk about grieving after losing my mom, uterine surgeries, and the "What ifs" in life. He tells me how proud he is of me, my family, and his favorite son (running joke since Justin is the only "son" he has).
Going down memory lane reminded me that even though my dad doesn't have to take care of me the same way he once did, appreciation needs to be given. So many like my husband don't have the same relationship dynamics that I have with my father. It makes me sad, but it also reminds me to be grateful. My dad has never put limitations on the things we discuss or the things we share. He has never put up walls with me, He has always let me know that we can talk about anything. So thank you, dad. Thank you for always being personal with me. I am a better woman for it and my children will be better humans for it as well.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Because I tell you guys pretty much everything, I decided to talk about something that happened to me yesterday. I'm not going to go too much into detail, but I do want to talk about the reason this blog is even happening. Basically, that fight Justin and I had back in July ( this is the link for that) was brought to my attention as a way of explaining that my marriage was indeed "not perfect" and while that disagreement we had was a perfect example of the bumps that relationships go through, it still felt like nothing short of a punch in the gut when brought up by someone other than my husband. I've never been someone to exclaim that I have a "perfect marriage" or perfect anything. I mean, if you've been a long time reader I think it's pretty evident that I am flawed. My initial reaction to hearing this was just kind of like i said, "a punch in the gut" and then my next reaction was a little irritated. It's not anyone's fault but ours that someone outside of our marriage knows about this...I mean I did blog about it for crying out loud. But still, hearing it.. it just reminded me that the sanctity of my marriage is between two people... Justin and I. Even though I was pretty upset about the situation (rehashing old wounds), I still didn't speak badly about my husband. I didn't allow it to impact us today, because it's been almost a year since the infamous "motorcycle fight" actually occurred. I spent the better part of my afternoon talking with Justin about this, and the feelings he shared with me were everything I needed to hear.
The first thing he did was remind me of the growth we've had since that blow up. More than ever now, we know that we are CHOOSING to continue building a life with one another because we know that this is it. He also made it a point to remind me to not dwell on this recent situation. If people fall witness to our trials, that is only a reminder that we are flawed, we are human, and we have our disagreements. Once he said that, my entire idea about this ordeal changed. Our goal is to never seek perfection in our marriage, our goal is to seek what makes us truly "work" with one another. Every single day. That's why I don't bad mouth my husband. Some of you may follow me on other social media sites and you may see the cheesy, lovey dovey posts I share, but that is simply because I love the man I married. I don't have anything negative to say about the man I married to anyone, OTHER than the man I married. I made it a point at the beginning of my marriage to only exude love, happiness, and positivity when it comes to the relationship I have with Justin. That doesn't make us perfect, that makes us respectful.
So, this is kind of jumbled and I left a lot of the situation out of this blog post, but if you read this and you take anything away from this, I hope this is the thing you take: We are all humans that want to be loved, and we want to love in return. If you find someone that loves you, respects you, and makes you feel good about yourself, don't be afraid to pursue them. If you pursue them and you find yourself in a union with that person, treat them GREAT for always. Don't let outsiders influence your decisions or the opinions you have. Never feel cheesy, never feel judged, and never feel bad for sharing the love you have with the outside world. Trust me, it is nothing short of inspiring and beautiful, and let's face it, we all need a bit of that in our lives. Don't strive for perfection, strive for what works for the both of you. Most importantly, when you start expanding that beautiful union.. don't forget about each other. Remembering the reasons why this entire life started is the key.
P.S. Justin if you are reading this, please know without a doubt you are the very best friend I have in the world. You are my safe place, you have my heart. It sounds kind of cheesy to say it now, but from the moment you wrapped that jacket around me, I knew that you'd make a big impact in my life. I never imagined we'd be where we are today, loving each other just as hard as the first day we said it. Thank you for being true, faithful, loving, funny, caring, and a swift kick in the butt when I need it. I love you forever, best friends for always.
Happy Thursday all
♥- Leilani
The first thing he did was remind me of the growth we've had since that blow up. More than ever now, we know that we are CHOOSING to continue building a life with one another because we know that this is it. He also made it a point to remind me to not dwell on this recent situation. If people fall witness to our trials, that is only a reminder that we are flawed, we are human, and we have our disagreements. Once he said that, my entire idea about this ordeal changed. Our goal is to never seek perfection in our marriage, our goal is to seek what makes us truly "work" with one another. Every single day. That's why I don't bad mouth my husband. Some of you may follow me on other social media sites and you may see the cheesy, lovey dovey posts I share, but that is simply because I love the man I married. I don't have anything negative to say about the man I married to anyone, OTHER than the man I married. I made it a point at the beginning of my marriage to only exude love, happiness, and positivity when it comes to the relationship I have with Justin. That doesn't make us perfect, that makes us respectful.
So, this is kind of jumbled and I left a lot of the situation out of this blog post, but if you read this and you take anything away from this, I hope this is the thing you take: We are all humans that want to be loved, and we want to love in return. If you find someone that loves you, respects you, and makes you feel good about yourself, don't be afraid to pursue them. If you pursue them and you find yourself in a union with that person, treat them GREAT for always. Don't let outsiders influence your decisions or the opinions you have. Never feel cheesy, never feel judged, and never feel bad for sharing the love you have with the outside world. Trust me, it is nothing short of inspiring and beautiful, and let's face it, we all need a bit of that in our lives. Don't strive for perfection, strive for what works for the both of you. Most importantly, when you start expanding that beautiful union.. don't forget about each other. Remembering the reasons why this entire life started is the key.
P.S. Justin if you are reading this, please know without a doubt you are the very best friend I have in the world. You are my safe place, you have my heart. It sounds kind of cheesy to say it now, but from the moment you wrapped that jacket around me, I knew that you'd make a big impact in my life. I never imagined we'd be where we are today, loving each other just as hard as the first day we said it. Thank you for being true, faithful, loving, funny, caring, and a swift kick in the butt when I need it. I love you forever, best friends for always.
Happy Thursday all
♥- Leilani
Thursday, November 13, 2014
I don't know what it is lately, but my marriage and my relationship with Justin is completely rocking my socks! Seriously. I think this third year of marriage has been so very good to us, I can't help but share the love with all of you. Today wasn't a super great day, and that's fine because those days happen. The first person I call, the first person I turn to (always), is Justin. It's taken him a while to master this trait, but somehow, no matter what he says to me, I end up feeling much better after we talk. I leave our conversations with my head held high and a weird calm sense of confidence. I absolutely love that he is able to do that for me. I know there are similar instances where I do that for him, and I love it. Nothing makes me happier than being in sync with the man that I chose to spend the rest of my days with.
With all the "thankful" posts stirring around Facebook, I myself sat down and thought of all the things I'm grateful for. Tons of ideas immediately flooded my mind, but of course Justin and Ava bug topped the list. I'm thankful for not only a marriage and life partner, but a forever friend. I have a man in my life that reminds me we are always in this together. I have a man that always talks to me about his fears and his joys. A man that remains on the same page as me when it comes to expanding our family, or making life altering decisions. A man that I know won't give up when things get tough in our relationship. I have a man that will always be here to experience life with me, so long as he is breathing. That's pretty intense right? Imagine how my heart feels.
With Ava bug, I think we all know that I'm grateful for my little girl. What you don't know is that on the days where she tests my absolute patience, those are the days that I love her the absolute most. She has created a patient, EVEN more so tendered-hearted woman. It's the days where she doesn't want to cooperate that I am grateful for. The days where she wants to boycott eating. You see, on those days, I still handle my daughter with grace. Those are the days that remind me I am cut out for this. I never yell, scream, or hit my child when she acts those ways. That's how I reassure myself that I made the right parenting choices. It's in the hard moments that I realize I am a good mother, and that I "wear" parenthood well.
If I had to share just one more thing with you guys that read my blog, I would tell you that I am thankful for all of you. I get so many kind, encouraging, and inspirational words from my readers. The emails you send, the comments you make, you guys lift me up in a way that no one else does. Why you ask? A lot of you don't know me personally. You know things about me that I choose to share. Some of those things I share don't often put me in the best light, yet you read on! You encourage on! Thank you for sharing, reading, and learning something from this blog of mine. I'm thankful I've been given the ability to express myself through words. It has truly been a pleasure.
In the spirit of throwback Thursday's... here's a picture of Justin and I during our first year of marriage. What's better than smiles and the BRONOCS?!? Enjoy!
Happy Thursday all!
♥- Leilani
With all the "thankful" posts stirring around Facebook, I myself sat down and thought of all the things I'm grateful for. Tons of ideas immediately flooded my mind, but of course Justin and Ava bug topped the list. I'm thankful for not only a marriage and life partner, but a forever friend. I have a man in my life that reminds me we are always in this together. I have a man that always talks to me about his fears and his joys. A man that remains on the same page as me when it comes to expanding our family, or making life altering decisions. A man that I know won't give up when things get tough in our relationship. I have a man that will always be here to experience life with me, so long as he is breathing. That's pretty intense right? Imagine how my heart feels.
With Ava bug, I think we all know that I'm grateful for my little girl. What you don't know is that on the days where she tests my absolute patience, those are the days that I love her the absolute most. She has created a patient, EVEN more so tendered-hearted woman. It's the days where she doesn't want to cooperate that I am grateful for. The days where she wants to boycott eating. You see, on those days, I still handle my daughter with grace. Those are the days that remind me I am cut out for this. I never yell, scream, or hit my child when she acts those ways. That's how I reassure myself that I made the right parenting choices. It's in the hard moments that I realize I am a good mother, and that I "wear" parenthood well.
If I had to share just one more thing with you guys that read my blog, I would tell you that I am thankful for all of you. I get so many kind, encouraging, and inspirational words from my readers. The emails you send, the comments you make, you guys lift me up in a way that no one else does. Why you ask? A lot of you don't know me personally. You know things about me that I choose to share. Some of those things I share don't often put me in the best light, yet you read on! You encourage on! Thank you for sharing, reading, and learning something from this blog of mine. I'm thankful I've been given the ability to express myself through words. It has truly been a pleasure.
In the spirit of throwback Thursday's... here's a picture of Justin and I during our first year of marriage. What's better than smiles and the BRONOCS?!? Enjoy!
Photo Cred: Ashley Curirn
Happy Thursday all!
♥- Leilani
Monday, November 10, 2014
Last night was really rough for me for a number of reasons. We are finally approaching the original date for trying to conceive our second child and my emotions are all over the place. The same type of feelings that surfaced prior to having Ava bug have somehow managed to emerge again. The circumstances aren't the same, in fact nothing really is the same. We know that we are 100% capable of conceiving a healthy child... so I'm really not sure what caused this to happen. I think it's pretty normal to be nervous and a little scared when dealing with fertility. None the less, I spent the better half of my night crying to my heart's content. I wasn't going to let my husband see me in this little emotional ball of a mess.. but like always, I had to have the support of my best friend.
He was in the middle of playing some video game when he saw me. Tears down my face, he threw his headset down and just came up and held me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him through my sobs. Like always, he made me feel better. Justin is really, really good at that. He has complete faith and hope in the fact that we will go on to conceive a second baby with no trouble at all. He told me to keep my chin up and stay positive. He told me that we'd have lots more babies if I wanted to. Still standing, he wiped the tears from my face, and said something silly that made me smile.
We sat for a bit and continued to discuss our excitement, our fears, and our impending journey. It was in those moments where I felt even more validated in wanting to have a marriage, a life with this man. Justin is without a doubt one of the greatest men I have ever known. He is so encouraging, strong, and tender-hearted when it comes to the women he loves (Ava bug and myself). We then went on to go and kiss our sleeping beauty toddler for the simple fact that we could. I remember Ava waking up shortly after, and holding her so tight. No matter what happens on this next journey, I will always have my Ava bug. I will always have one perfect little being that is a creation of Justin and I.
That really allowed a wave of peace to come over me. I know I wouldn't be this strong without the support of my husband and I am so grateful for this man on a daily basis. Free from judgment when jealousy rears it's ugly head when I see all those who conceive with ease, Justin is there to remind me that our journey makes our reward that much more enjoyable. It is in his words of optimism that I find peace and acceptance. More so than ever, I feel rock solid. I feel rock solid with my marriage, I feel rock solid with my life goals, and I feel rock solid with the type of parent I continue to become. I'm in a really good place right now and all signs point to baby # 2 for us. I can't even explain this to you guys in words, because I fall short, but it is most definitely time for us to look back and see two carseats behind us in the car. That was how we knew it was time to try for children, and I am trusting this instinct that Justin and I have once more.
How many of my readers are considering adding little additions to their family? Did you have similar emotions as mine? Are there any readers with fertility struggles? I'd love to hear from you all in the comments below or by email.
Happy Monday all!
♥- Leilani
He was in the middle of playing some video game when he saw me. Tears down my face, he threw his headset down and just came up and held me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him through my sobs. Like always, he made me feel better. Justin is really, really good at that. He has complete faith and hope in the fact that we will go on to conceive a second baby with no trouble at all. He told me to keep my chin up and stay positive. He told me that we'd have lots more babies if I wanted to. Still standing, he wiped the tears from my face, and said something silly that made me smile.
We sat for a bit and continued to discuss our excitement, our fears, and our impending journey. It was in those moments where I felt even more validated in wanting to have a marriage, a life with this man. Justin is without a doubt one of the greatest men I have ever known. He is so encouraging, strong, and tender-hearted when it comes to the women he loves (Ava bug and myself). We then went on to go and kiss our sleeping beauty toddler for the simple fact that we could. I remember Ava waking up shortly after, and holding her so tight. No matter what happens on this next journey, I will always have my Ava bug. I will always have one perfect little being that is a creation of Justin and I.
That really allowed a wave of peace to come over me. I know I wouldn't be this strong without the support of my husband and I am so grateful for this man on a daily basis. Free from judgment when jealousy rears it's ugly head when I see all those who conceive with ease, Justin is there to remind me that our journey makes our reward that much more enjoyable. It is in his words of optimism that I find peace and acceptance. More so than ever, I feel rock solid. I feel rock solid with my marriage, I feel rock solid with my life goals, and I feel rock solid with the type of parent I continue to become. I'm in a really good place right now and all signs point to baby # 2 for us. I can't even explain this to you guys in words, because I fall short, but it is most definitely time for us to look back and see two carseats behind us in the car. That was how we knew it was time to try for children, and I am trusting this instinct that Justin and I have once more.
How many of my readers are considering adding little additions to their family? Did you have similar emotions as mine? Are there any readers with fertility struggles? I'd love to hear from you all in the comments below or by email.
Happy Monday all!
♥- Leilani
Friday, August 1, 2014
Four years ago today was the first time I met Justin. Four years ago today, if I had done one thing differently, I may not have met the man that would later become my better half. Four years ago today is the reason why I am a true believer in fate, and faith. I think about the day I met Justin frequently, and it's crazy because everything about that day still remains vivid and clear in my mind. I remember what he wore, I remember how I felt when I saw him, but most importantly I remember how easily we connected. As each year passes by, I am even more grateful for the man I married. It seems like I learn something new from my husband on a regular basis.
If I had to choose one thing (over the obvious blessings) that have been life changing for us over the years, it would have to be growth. A friend of mine said to me a couple weeks ago that you cannot experience growth without some growing pains. That statement has definitely been proven true throughout our marriage. As we get older, and grow to become better versions of ourselves we realize we are forever changing. We realize even more of the things we want out of our life, and this is where we are reminded of how compatible we are. I may not always be eager to accept new hobbies (sorry babe, I'm talking about your motorcycle club), but I respect Justin enough to let him ride out his crazy dreams. I know he does the same for me, and we support each other every step of the way. Growing together has proven to be apart of the foundation that our marriage is built on, and even with the growing pains we will always face, I hope this never changes.
As I reflect on these last four years, I am proud of where we are today. We love each other, we encourage one another, and we comfort each other when turmoil hits. Aside from making me a mother to Ava, he has given my heart so many reasons to beam. I not only have a mate for life, but I also have a best friend. Take a look at these then and now photos!
Happy four years of knowing you Woobie!
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
If I had to choose one thing (over the obvious blessings) that have been life changing for us over the years, it would have to be growth. A friend of mine said to me a couple weeks ago that you cannot experience growth without some growing pains. That statement has definitely been proven true throughout our marriage. As we get older, and grow to become better versions of ourselves we realize we are forever changing. We realize even more of the things we want out of our life, and this is where we are reminded of how compatible we are. I may not always be eager to accept new hobbies (sorry babe, I'm talking about your motorcycle club), but I respect Justin enough to let him ride out his crazy dreams. I know he does the same for me, and we support each other every step of the way. Growing together has proven to be apart of the foundation that our marriage is built on, and even with the growing pains we will always face, I hope this never changes.
As I reflect on these last four years, I am proud of where we are today. We love each other, we encourage one another, and we comfort each other when turmoil hits. Aside from making me a mother to Ava, he has given my heart so many reasons to beam. I not only have a mate for life, but I also have a best friend. Take a look at these then and now photos!
Then (Photo Cred: ACP)
Now (Photo Cred: JOP)
Happy four years of knowing you Woobie!
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
Friday, February 21, 2014
Normally, I tend to shy away from writing posts like this. I have found the center for this blog and I'm quite happy with it. However, I stumbled upon some information that really caught my attention. Since having a baby, going through the distance of a deployment last year, and the constant moving we have done these past few months, my relationship with Justin has changed. We were once that "head over heels, happy go lucky" married couple that never spent a moment apart. Then (what felt like overnight), we became that married couple that had to be intimate without physical presence. The couple expecting a baby, the couple who had sexy conversations that included your wife vomiting in the background. That married couple who had to somehow reestablish order at home with a baby present. Our marriage kind of went through a makeover this past year.
Through it all we have managed to maintain a healthy relationship, and we are still happy in our marriage. Yes, there is a difference between being married, and being happily married. That's kind of what I wanted to focus on right now. Justin and I have met a lot of people since we became an item, and I've spent a lot of time observing the relationships of others. I think I was trying to get a feel for the dynamic of the relationships we were surrounded by. Often times I was able to see love and warmth. Other times it was irritability and distance. Sometimes it was just flat out annoyance and the energy in the room felt awkward.
After reading an article and a few other marital books, I began to wonder how many people actually take the time to make their marriage a priority. Often times we get so caught up with life, the kids we make, our goals, and household duties, that we don't really put our relationships on the pedestal that they deserve. Personally, this is something I do everyday. I praise my husband, where praise is due. I go out of my way each day to do something that lets him know he's still my number one man. I know it makes a world of difference for Justin, and It makes me feel good seeing a smile on his face.
Another habit to think about was titled searching for the good. We all have little pet peeves about our spouses. Rather than treating it like a curse, find something positive in that pet peeve of yours. For example, I hate video games. Justin finds video games to be a lot of fun. Instead of looking at video games with disgust, I acknowledge the fact that after a long day/week, gaming it up is Justin's relaxation. That's why we have a "man cave" in our home, it's just for Justin and his gaming.
A couple of the other categories I read were:
I guess the point of all this was to be a reminder that there are so many things we can do to have these beautiful, happy, marriages. I am only three years in, but I know that the foundation of my marriage has to be strong, it has to be tended to on a daily basis. I'm not saying my marriage is a cake walk, but it's definitely doing great on the upkeep. I know this was long, but on a final note, I wanted to leave my readers with this beautiful quote: Happy marriages don't happen by accident. You have to be intentional and work on your relationship to maintain a strong marriage.
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
Through it all we have managed to maintain a healthy relationship, and we are still happy in our marriage. Yes, there is a difference between being married, and being happily married. That's kind of what I wanted to focus on right now. Justin and I have met a lot of people since we became an item, and I've spent a lot of time observing the relationships of others. I think I was trying to get a feel for the dynamic of the relationships we were surrounded by. Often times I was able to see love and warmth. Other times it was irritability and distance. Sometimes it was just flat out annoyance and the energy in the room felt awkward.
After reading an article and a few other marital books, I began to wonder how many people actually take the time to make their marriage a priority. Often times we get so caught up with life, the kids we make, our goals, and household duties, that we don't really put our relationships on the pedestal that they deserve. Personally, this is something I do everyday. I praise my husband, where praise is due. I go out of my way each day to do something that lets him know he's still my number one man. I know it makes a world of difference for Justin, and It makes me feel good seeing a smile on his face.
Another habit to think about was titled searching for the good. We all have little pet peeves about our spouses. Rather than treating it like a curse, find something positive in that pet peeve of yours. For example, I hate video games. Justin finds video games to be a lot of fun. Instead of looking at video games with disgust, I acknowledge the fact that after a long day/week, gaming it up is Justin's relaxation. That's why we have a "man cave" in our home, it's just for Justin and his gaming.
A couple of the other categories I read were:
- making love a verb
- talking to each other, seriously
Love is not something we have, it's something we do. Justin and I are always referencing our love languages (thank you Mr. Chapman). I never want to be that couple that falls into complacency, thus why we make our marriage a daily priority that we work on. It's so important to know the things you can do to ensure your spouse feels loved. Even if it's something as small as making their favorite breakfast. The smallest things make the biggest differences.
Talking without distraction is actually something I need to work on. I'm constantly getting emails from other moms, my school, social media, and I know at times Justin gets pretty irritated about it. I have cut down the amount of time I spend on the internet each day, and each night, after Ava goes down, we have our talk time. This usually lasts anywhere from an hour to two hours. Like this evening, we spent two hours talking about our childhood, and some of the memories we want to share with Ava. No television, no computer, no cell phones, just great conversation. We didn't discuss any agenda's or plans. That type of conversation is always my favorite.
I guess the point of all this was to be a reminder that there are so many things we can do to have these beautiful, happy, marriages. I am only three years in, but I know that the foundation of my marriage has to be strong, it has to be tended to on a daily basis. I'm not saying my marriage is a cake walk, but it's definitely doing great on the upkeep. I know this was long, but on a final note, I wanted to leave my readers with this beautiful quote: Happy marriages don't happen by accident. You have to be intentional and work on your relationship to maintain a strong marriage.
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
For the past couple of months Justin and I have been trying our hardest to cut out some of the horrid habits we have acquired over the years. I will say, becoming a natural family is a lot harder than we initially thought. Altering your lifestyle is much more than just saying you need to change (although that is a great start), it requires restraint, and definitely hard work. So what type of growth are we hoping to make in the new year?
Well, for starters, we are actually embracing the word "natural" and not so much organic. Gluten free snacks are stacked in the Howland home as of late. We are shying away from a lot of processed foods and ingredients like white sugar, white flour, and any type of soda. Those ingredients strip our bodies of minerals, and they definitely don't put us on a "natural" track. In order to truly feel good, we plan on nourishing our family with healthy, and natural substitutions. The bonus? Implementing good eating habits will pave a healthy lifestyle for our little (and future Howl babies).
Another change that we are making as of NOW is delayed vaccinations (I know some people don't agree). But as of today, this is the decision we have made. I literally just spent over two hours researching, reading, and watching all kinds of videos with Justin (I love how involved of a parent he is), AGAIN and watching his reaction to the ingredients and possible outcomes of vaccinations, hurt my heart a bit. I think there are a lot of things parents don't choose to education themselves on, and I think it's unfortunate. We have vaccinated, and will continue to (delayed, as stated), but that's after long, extensive research. Please be "in the know" when it comes to what's going into your child's body (If I could stress anything, it would be that). Take all factors into account when vaccinating. Sorry for that little vent, but I do think it's imperative that parents step up and get in "the know." Any who, we have taken a lot of factors into consideration. The two most important being that Ava is exclusively breastfed, and the second being she is not and will not be in any type of daycare facility. *** For those of you who are interested in doing a little more research, I strongly encourage you to watch mama natural's vaccination videos. She gives you a thorough description of each vaccination, the doses, and what kinds of ingredients are put in vaccines. Childhood vaccines*** Each video is less than five minutes, but can definitely be life changing for you and your family. Don't stop your research there, her videos are meant to give you a general ideas and descriptions.
Justin and I will both be full time college students come next month, and education is definitely a huge change in 2014 for us. I have managed to maintain A's in all of my courses these last five months, and that is an educational goal for myself moving into this new year. I take my education seriously, and I am more than sure Justin will too. I think being a full time student, and working full time will present challenges for my husband, but he is a trooper and I seem him fulfilling his goals to obtain his degree. We are both overly confident we can continue to motivate and encourage each other.
Speaking of next month, we'll have definitely settled in our new Washington home by this time. During our "what to implement" discussion this past week, my husband actually had one awesome request. At least once a month, we'll have a date night. This is perfect for us, considering we will be near family members, and I know leaving Ava bug with people we trust isn't going to be any type of issue. Having a child has definitely changed our marriage, but I'd have to say becoming parents changed our marriage in such beautiful ways. That being said, our main center of focus may be Ava, but we haven't forgotten how she came to be (us two). So, whether it be dinner at a restaurant, a nice beach side picnic, or just "some day" shopping for appliances at Home Depot, we will continue to nourish and allow our marriage to flourish.
Aside from physical goals for Justin, and more mental health goals for myself, this is the jist of the growth we would like to have happen for our family this year. Notice how I said growth? Growth is never ending. Achieving growth is the biggest motivation anyone can have. If you take nothing else away from this post, leave with that. A motivated being can move mountains. Always have a goal in mind, always work toward growth.
Happy New Year all!
♥- Leilani
Well, for starters, we are actually embracing the word "natural" and not so much organic. Gluten free snacks are stacked in the Howland home as of late. We are shying away from a lot of processed foods and ingredients like white sugar, white flour, and any type of soda. Those ingredients strip our bodies of minerals, and they definitely don't put us on a "natural" track. In order to truly feel good, we plan on nourishing our family with healthy, and natural substitutions. The bonus? Implementing good eating habits will pave a healthy lifestyle for our little (and future Howl babies).
Another change that we are making as of NOW is delayed vaccinations (I know some people don't agree). But as of today, this is the decision we have made. I literally just spent over two hours researching, reading, and watching all kinds of videos with Justin (I love how involved of a parent he is), AGAIN and watching his reaction to the ingredients and possible outcomes of vaccinations, hurt my heart a bit. I think there are a lot of things parents don't choose to education themselves on, and I think it's unfortunate. We have vaccinated, and will continue to (delayed, as stated), but that's after long, extensive research. Please be "in the know" when it comes to what's going into your child's body (If I could stress anything, it would be that). Take all factors into account when vaccinating. Sorry for that little vent, but I do think it's imperative that parents step up and get in "the know." Any who, we have taken a lot of factors into consideration. The two most important being that Ava is exclusively breastfed, and the second being she is not and will not be in any type of daycare facility. *** For those of you who are interested in doing a little more research, I strongly encourage you to watch mama natural's vaccination videos. She gives you a thorough description of each vaccination, the doses, and what kinds of ingredients are put in vaccines. Childhood vaccines*** Each video is less than five minutes, but can definitely be life changing for you and your family. Don't stop your research there, her videos are meant to give you a general ideas and descriptions.
Justin and I will both be full time college students come next month, and education is definitely a huge change in 2014 for us. I have managed to maintain A's in all of my courses these last five months, and that is an educational goal for myself moving into this new year. I take my education seriously, and I am more than sure Justin will too. I think being a full time student, and working full time will present challenges for my husband, but he is a trooper and I seem him fulfilling his goals to obtain his degree. We are both overly confident we can continue to motivate and encourage each other.
Speaking of next month, we'll have definitely settled in our new Washington home by this time. During our "what to implement" discussion this past week, my husband actually had one awesome request. At least once a month, we'll have a date night. This is perfect for us, considering we will be near family members, and I know leaving Ava bug with people we trust isn't going to be any type of issue. Having a child has definitely changed our marriage, but I'd have to say becoming parents changed our marriage in such beautiful ways. That being said, our main center of focus may be Ava, but we haven't forgotten how she came to be (us two). So, whether it be dinner at a restaurant, a nice beach side picnic, or just "some day" shopping for appliances at Home Depot, we will continue to nourish and allow our marriage to flourish.
Aside from physical goals for Justin, and more mental health goals for myself, this is the jist of the growth we would like to have happen for our family this year. Notice how I said growth? Growth is never ending. Achieving growth is the biggest motivation anyone can have. If you take nothing else away from this post, leave with that. A motivated being can move mountains. Always have a goal in mind, always work toward growth.
Happy New Year all!
♥- Leilani
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