I'm so glad we made it.
Feels Like Home
Saturday, December 30, 2017
I've smiled watching things pop up on social media with 2018 quickly approaching. People making their resolutions, making profound statements about change, growth, and prospering in the "fresh start" year... and I can't help but feel none of those things. Don't get me wrong, I was a chronic new years resolution gal.. until I started making changes about my life exactly when the thought came to me. I can't tell you how much growth I've experienced this past year from asserting myself and not relying on some special stroke of midnight that magically allowed me to fight for a better me. The mantra I've deemed most fitting for my 2017 has been - Live NOW. That's likely the reason why our family took two separate vacations to two very different coasts this year, just because. The reason why we tried conceiving a third child without any type of "plan" like we had done in the past. The reason I tried my damnedest to fight for a healthy me - mind, body & soul. I am so proud of all the progress I've made in the light, and trust me when I say that 2017 brought on SO much light for me.
As life would have it, I still found myself in some pretty dark places this year. Loss. I have always been open about how debilitating loss has been for me, and it still is today. Grieving the loss of my mom hasn't come to this healing place that I thought it would. Some days, I feel mended. Other days, the surface is raw, and it hurts, and my chest caves in, and all I want is to hear her voice again. To see her again. When we found out we lost one of our babies, I felt measures of broken that I hadn't felt in years. I think I went numb and into this place of saying I was okay about 1,000 times a day and trying to allow myself to believe that. My saving grace? My husband. He has saved me from myself more times than I can count and he has always served as a constant reminder that I am strong and it's going to be okay.
Through every high and every low, I'm grateful for my experiences this year. Grateful because I am reminded of how resilient I have become. Life has dished out some crazy curveballs and I'm still standing. So much of my healing comes from my family thriving, and 2017 left us with buckets of it. Miss Ava started Pre-K and she is totally rocking it! I was beyond nervous to let her go, but it was the best decision we've ever made. It has been just five months since the first day of school and I'm wondering why Pre-k isn't a state requirement nationwide? The benefits have blown us away. Ava has learned so much more extensively than I have been able to teach her (interpersonal relationships, resolving conflict on her own *to an extent*, and crazy new levels of independence) at home.
Justin got selected for promotion on his first look and even though it has been months since we first found out, I'm still beaming with pride and I'm so dang proud of this man. Olivia took off with her growth and she's never looked back. It is absolutely incredible to watch her learn from her sister, from her environment, from Justin and I... we are blessed to have such amazing little girls. Liam. Ahh, my baby boy. My growing, healthy, miracle of a babe. He has been the most healing piece of my puzzle this year and there isn't a minute that goes by that I'm not continuously thankful for that. One thing that's for sure - my family is everything and I most definitely will be taking that with me no matter what year we are ringing in! Here's a small collage of some of my favorite moments from this year.
Tulip picking, announcing our pregnancy, Destin, Florida, celebrating both of my girls and their birthdays, spending a piece of fall in Seattle, and of course so many more.
Wherever you are and however 2017 is ending for you: Stay safe, all the best wishes, and ring in the new year with as much love as humanly possible.
Through every high and every low, I'm grateful for my experiences this year. Grateful because I am reminded of how resilient I have become. Life has dished out some crazy curveballs and I'm still standing. So much of my healing comes from my family thriving, and 2017 left us with buckets of it. Miss Ava started Pre-K and she is totally rocking it! I was beyond nervous to let her go, but it was the best decision we've ever made. It has been just five months since the first day of school and I'm wondering why Pre-k isn't a state requirement nationwide? The benefits have blown us away. Ava has learned so much more extensively than I have been able to teach her (interpersonal relationships, resolving conflict on her own *to an extent*, and crazy new levels of independence) at home.
Justin got selected for promotion on his first look and even though it has been months since we first found out, I'm still beaming with pride and I'm so dang proud of this man. Olivia took off with her growth and she's never looked back. It is absolutely incredible to watch her learn from her sister, from her environment, from Justin and I... we are blessed to have such amazing little girls. Liam. Ahh, my baby boy. My growing, healthy, miracle of a babe. He has been the most healing piece of my puzzle this year and there isn't a minute that goes by that I'm not continuously thankful for that. One thing that's for sure - my family is everything and I most definitely will be taking that with me no matter what year we are ringing in! Here's a small collage of some of my favorite moments from this year.
Tulip picking, announcing our pregnancy, Destin, Florida, celebrating both of my girls and their birthdays, spending a piece of fall in Seattle, and of course so many more.
Wherever you are and however 2017 is ending for you: Stay safe, all the best wishes, and ring in the new year with as much love as humanly possible.
Monday, April 11, 2016
I have been waiting to write this post for 11 weeks now. I have finally reached a place in my *new version of motherhood where I feel like my world isn't constantly being rocked. Justin has been gone for two weeks now and things are actually really good with me and the girls. I never thought we would get to this point (Olivia's three week stretch 6pm witching hour was brutal), but it feels so incredible and I love being able to soak in these tender moments that motherhood has afforded me. I say that a lot, but I do relish in them. Everyday, the girls grow. They change. I don't want to miss a single moment of that with them. I've had a few emails from mama tribes with one kiddo, four kiddos, you name it... basically asking me what my hurdles have been and what has been necessary to resume "the calm" in my life. Here goes nothing!
Hurdles + Biggest Challenges
The fact that there is only ONE me is hard. I find myself being torn on which child to cater to first. I hate when my Livy girl is crying, but I also hate when my Ava bug is crying or in need too. Ultimately, Ava is normally my go to first. Olivia crying (while in a sling, in my arms) is tolerable if Ava needs something that I can provide in a timely manner. Normally, I'll just nurse Olivia in the sling, so that usually resolves 97% of her tears at this point (yay for comfort nursing, i actually absolutely love this). Ava is older, she's smart, and she analyzes everything. My biggest fear with adding another baby was Ava feeling neglected. I try REALLY, REALLY hard to make sure that I provide all that Ava needs and that her routine hasn't change too much with the addition of a sibling.
Grocery shopping. Hands down. It's really not terrible at this point, it's just harder. I always have Olivia in a carrier and I've resorted to only shopping during her sleep time so she stays asleep the entire time we are in the grocery store. With Ava, you could take her to a store, mall, zoo, etc. at anytime of the day and she was golden. This has been a huge adjustment for me, but I am rolling with Olivia's little personality and needs. I try to only shop for 1/2 a cart per trip. Lifting all those groceries alone is actually a lot of work. I'm holding Olivia's head in one hand, and trying to lift gallons of milk in the other.... like i said, it's harder.
Meltdowns. Oh the unison meltdowns. Those are by far the worst for me. When Ava has a meltdown, it never fails... Olivia will start bawling almost instantly. When both girls are crying, I want to cry too honestly. Ava will cry because she misses daddy, she can't have something she wants, or because I put lotion in her hand to lotion herself (yes, that happened last night). You name it, her toddler freak outs come out of no where sometime. Olivia is now at the point where she will only cry or fuss when she is done with her tummy time mat, she's hungry, or she wants to be held. Normally, I'll grab Olivia and nurse her.. then invite Ava over to cuddle so she can calm down too. This works 99.9% of the time with meltdowns.
Changes + Adjustments
Routines are everything. Seriously. We have a routine down pat and it is golden. Want me to walk you through it? Okay. We wake up and head down stairs pretty early in the morning (thank you, Ava). I change baby butts, put Olivia down for tummy time, and immediately start making Ava's breakfast. By the time I've gotten Ava a banana and her milk, Olivia has rolled over and is cooing away. Ava likes watching "her shows" in the morning, so she does that while eating. I will then nurse Olivia and she will usually sleep for 1-2 hours solid. I take this time to bond with my Bug. We read, play with puzzles, work on colors, etc.
Afternoon routines are different since my toddler has boycotted nap time. I will put Olivia in the sling if I am not making Ava a hot lunch. If I am making Ava a hot lunch, Olivia sits in the fisher price seat that we purchased for baby Ava. It sits right in the kitchen with me. While Ava eats lunch, I play with Olivia for a bit until she falls asleep. Yes, she actually falls asleep without needing the breast (Ava ALWAYS needed the breast). That's when I get a little me time in. I'll social media it up on my cell phone until Ava is done eating. I'll switch the laundry, fold laundry, etc.
Evenings are my favorite time of the day for more reasons than one. We head upstairs at around 7pm and I bathe both girls. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. This was the smartest decision I have ever made. I put Olivia in her huge pink baby tub (fits right inside the back of the bath tub) and Ava hangs out around the faucet playing with her toys and water. I bath Livy bean first, then Ava. I take Olivia out and hand Ava bug a towel. We get all ready for bed and then it's story time! After we give kisses, hugs, and get Ava tucked in... I immediately start nursing Olivia... it takes all of five minutes for her to fall asleep.
From 8pm-5am, both babies are sound asleep. It is seriously the most amazing time of the evening for me. Not only are both of my babies getting great sleep, but it's also the MOST chunk of time I get for myself in a day. I literally clean up the entire downstairs from the toddler toy destruction that happens during the day, I do dishes, I switch laundry, etc. I get to shower, I do homework, I edit photos, I blog.. you get the picture.. lots of "I" in there.
Helper Ava
Having Ava love to help out is seriously a blessing. She will pass diapers, wipes, snot suckers... pretty much anything I need for the baby. While I cook, she will sit and entertain her sister so she doesn't get fussy. She sings for her, gives her infinite kisses, and loves to make her smile. She helps out so much and we are completely thankful for our first born! It also makes me really appreciate the age gap between our kids. If I had gotten pregnant a year earlier, there is no way that Ava would be able to comprehend all that she does now. Definitely feels good to have those moments of reassurance in our lives. Ava has without a doubt made the transition from one to two a lot easier in a lot of ways. Especially in Justin's absence.
All in all, I think that's pretty much the bulk. I always make sure to have time for myself at the end of a day, I remain flexible because not all of our days will play out the same way, and I remind myself that nothing is more important than having healthy, happy, kiddos.
♥- Leilani
Hurdles + Biggest Challenges
The fact that there is only ONE me is hard. I find myself being torn on which child to cater to first. I hate when my Livy girl is crying, but I also hate when my Ava bug is crying or in need too. Ultimately, Ava is normally my go to first. Olivia crying (while in a sling, in my arms) is tolerable if Ava needs something that I can provide in a timely manner. Normally, I'll just nurse Olivia in the sling, so that usually resolves 97% of her tears at this point (yay for comfort nursing, i actually absolutely love this). Ava is older, she's smart, and she analyzes everything. My biggest fear with adding another baby was Ava feeling neglected. I try REALLY, REALLY hard to make sure that I provide all that Ava needs and that her routine hasn't change too much with the addition of a sibling.
Grocery shopping. Hands down. It's really not terrible at this point, it's just harder. I always have Olivia in a carrier and I've resorted to only shopping during her sleep time so she stays asleep the entire time we are in the grocery store. With Ava, you could take her to a store, mall, zoo, etc. at anytime of the day and she was golden. This has been a huge adjustment for me, but I am rolling with Olivia's little personality and needs. I try to only shop for 1/2 a cart per trip. Lifting all those groceries alone is actually a lot of work. I'm holding Olivia's head in one hand, and trying to lift gallons of milk in the other.... like i said, it's harder.
Meltdowns. Oh the unison meltdowns. Those are by far the worst for me. When Ava has a meltdown, it never fails... Olivia will start bawling almost instantly. When both girls are crying, I want to cry too honestly. Ava will cry because she misses daddy, she can't have something she wants, or because I put lotion in her hand to lotion herself (yes, that happened last night). You name it, her toddler freak outs come out of no where sometime. Olivia is now at the point where she will only cry or fuss when she is done with her tummy time mat, she's hungry, or she wants to be held. Normally, I'll grab Olivia and nurse her.. then invite Ava over to cuddle so she can calm down too. This works 99.9% of the time with meltdowns.
Changes + Adjustments
Routines are everything. Seriously. We have a routine down pat and it is golden. Want me to walk you through it? Okay. We wake up and head down stairs pretty early in the morning (thank you, Ava). I change baby butts, put Olivia down for tummy time, and immediately start making Ava's breakfast. By the time I've gotten Ava a banana and her milk, Olivia has rolled over and is cooing away. Ava likes watching "her shows" in the morning, so she does that while eating. I will then nurse Olivia and she will usually sleep for 1-2 hours solid. I take this time to bond with my Bug. We read, play with puzzles, work on colors, etc.
Afternoon routines are different since my toddler has boycotted nap time. I will put Olivia in the sling if I am not making Ava a hot lunch. If I am making Ava a hot lunch, Olivia sits in the fisher price seat that we purchased for baby Ava. It sits right in the kitchen with me. While Ava eats lunch, I play with Olivia for a bit until she falls asleep. Yes, she actually falls asleep without needing the breast (Ava ALWAYS needed the breast). That's when I get a little me time in. I'll social media it up on my cell phone until Ava is done eating. I'll switch the laundry, fold laundry, etc.
Evenings are my favorite time of the day for more reasons than one. We head upstairs at around 7pm and I bathe both girls. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. This was the smartest decision I have ever made. I put Olivia in her huge pink baby tub (fits right inside the back of the bath tub) and Ava hangs out around the faucet playing with her toys and water. I bath Livy bean first, then Ava. I take Olivia out and hand Ava bug a towel. We get all ready for bed and then it's story time! After we give kisses, hugs, and get Ava tucked in... I immediately start nursing Olivia... it takes all of five minutes for her to fall asleep.
From 8pm-5am, both babies are sound asleep. It is seriously the most amazing time of the evening for me. Not only are both of my babies getting great sleep, but it's also the MOST chunk of time I get for myself in a day. I literally clean up the entire downstairs from the toddler toy destruction that happens during the day, I do dishes, I switch laundry, etc. I get to shower, I do homework, I edit photos, I blog.. you get the picture.. lots of "I" in there.
Helper Ava
Having Ava love to help out is seriously a blessing. She will pass diapers, wipes, snot suckers... pretty much anything I need for the baby. While I cook, she will sit and entertain her sister so she doesn't get fussy. She sings for her, gives her infinite kisses, and loves to make her smile. She helps out so much and we are completely thankful for our first born! It also makes me really appreciate the age gap between our kids. If I had gotten pregnant a year earlier, there is no way that Ava would be able to comprehend all that she does now. Definitely feels good to have those moments of reassurance in our lives. Ava has without a doubt made the transition from one to two a lot easier in a lot of ways. Especially in Justin's absence.
All in all, I think that's pretty much the bulk. I always make sure to have time for myself at the end of a day, I remain flexible because not all of our days will play out the same way, and I remind myself that nothing is more important than having healthy, happy, kiddos.
♥- Leilani
Friday, January 9, 2015
Ava and Justin are already asleep for the evening, so it looks like this mama is packing up the parts of this house that she can do by herself. As I started packing up my child's first "big girl" bathroom, I noticed I got a bit emotional about it. I came across an empty vitamin d bottle that Ava had to use daily when she was solely nursed, and I started blubbering over it. I think about how long ago that was and it makes me completely sad. This house has been the place where Ava bug hit so many milestones, including switching from solely nursing. This was the home that Ava started crawling in. I'll never forget that day. It was before all of our things from our move arrived, so there was absolutely no furniture in sight. It was cold outside and I was still feeling a bit jet lagged from our travels. When Ava crawled, I took it as a sign that everything was going to be okay here. I was right, everything was okay.
This is the home we were in when snow fell from the ground on a random February day. It was Ava's first time playing in snow... I'll never forget her toothless grins. Speaking of, she got her first set of teeth in this home as well. She danced, stood, and walked in this very home for the first time. It's really hard to walk away from those types of memories. Although we moved from Georgia to Texas and then here, this has been Ava's home the longest since she's been alive. This is the state she's been in the longest since she's been alive. A huge part of me is really hating the fact that we won't be here six days from now.
I'm also a little nervous about how Ava will take to her new surroundings. The last time we moved, the only thing that seemed to change was her development. She crawled just two days after our move and she's been full speed ever since. I'm worried she won't take to the new house well. She's almost 20 months old and a complete sponge. Soaking in new surroundings, she knows her comfort zones, and I know this move is going to mess with that a little bit. I know this seems a bit ridiculous, but it doesn't matter how big or small the circumstances... I don't like goodbyes. It's not like I can just drive to this previous home of ours and enter whenever I want.. that's not how it works, and I hate it. I've always been a person that resented change. Then I became the person that accepted change. Now I'm the person that accepts change and takes the good from it, but worries terribly how the change is going to impact her loved ones.
I'm going to pray that I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. Military families move. We move all over the nation and we move to new countries. That's a reality. Although the move this time is only a whopping 15 miles away (if that), I'm going to do my best to make sure that my family is comfortable. There are a few things I'm excited about, so it looks like I'll be holding on to those thoughts this next week. I'm pretty proud of our packing progress so far, and I honestly can't wait to get out of boxes! If you guys don't hear from me much next week, give thanks to this move! I'll keep you posted once I have internet up and running in the new house.
** I'm curious. How many moves have you done in one year? two years? Did you notice that your little ones were impacted a great deal? Did they not seem to mind? Share your experiences with me in the comments below or by email! **
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
This is the home we were in when snow fell from the ground on a random February day. It was Ava's first time playing in snow... I'll never forget her toothless grins. Speaking of, she got her first set of teeth in this home as well. She danced, stood, and walked in this very home for the first time. It's really hard to walk away from those types of memories. Although we moved from Georgia to Texas and then here, this has been Ava's home the longest since she's been alive. This is the state she's been in the longest since she's been alive. A huge part of me is really hating the fact that we won't be here six days from now.
I'm also a little nervous about how Ava will take to her new surroundings. The last time we moved, the only thing that seemed to change was her development. She crawled just two days after our move and she's been full speed ever since. I'm worried she won't take to the new house well. She's almost 20 months old and a complete sponge. Soaking in new surroundings, she knows her comfort zones, and I know this move is going to mess with that a little bit. I know this seems a bit ridiculous, but it doesn't matter how big or small the circumstances... I don't like goodbyes. It's not like I can just drive to this previous home of ours and enter whenever I want.. that's not how it works, and I hate it. I've always been a person that resented change. Then I became the person that accepted change. Now I'm the person that accepts change and takes the good from it, but worries terribly how the change is going to impact her loved ones.
I'm going to pray that I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. Military families move. We move all over the nation and we move to new countries. That's a reality. Although the move this time is only a whopping 15 miles away (if that), I'm going to do my best to make sure that my family is comfortable. There are a few things I'm excited about, so it looks like I'll be holding on to those thoughts this next week. I'm pretty proud of our packing progress so far, and I honestly can't wait to get out of boxes! If you guys don't hear from me much next week, give thanks to this move! I'll keep you posted once I have internet up and running in the new house.
** I'm curious. How many moves have you done in one year? two years? Did you notice that your little ones were impacted a great deal? Did they not seem to mind? Share your experiences with me in the comments below or by email! **
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
Friday, August 1, 2014
Four years ago today was the first time I met Justin. Four years ago today, if I had done one thing differently, I may not have met the man that would later become my better half. Four years ago today is the reason why I am a true believer in fate, and faith. I think about the day I met Justin frequently, and it's crazy because everything about that day still remains vivid and clear in my mind. I remember what he wore, I remember how I felt when I saw him, but most importantly I remember how easily we connected. As each year passes by, I am even more grateful for the man I married. It seems like I learn something new from my husband on a regular basis.
If I had to choose one thing (over the obvious blessings) that have been life changing for us over the years, it would have to be growth. A friend of mine said to me a couple weeks ago that you cannot experience growth without some growing pains. That statement has definitely been proven true throughout our marriage. As we get older, and grow to become better versions of ourselves we realize we are forever changing. We realize even more of the things we want out of our life, and this is where we are reminded of how compatible we are. I may not always be eager to accept new hobbies (sorry babe, I'm talking about your motorcycle club), but I respect Justin enough to let him ride out his crazy dreams. I know he does the same for me, and we support each other every step of the way. Growing together has proven to be apart of the foundation that our marriage is built on, and even with the growing pains we will always face, I hope this never changes.
As I reflect on these last four years, I am proud of where we are today. We love each other, we encourage one another, and we comfort each other when turmoil hits. Aside from making me a mother to Ava, he has given my heart so many reasons to beam. I not only have a mate for life, but I also have a best friend. Take a look at these then and now photos!
Happy four years of knowing you Woobie!
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
If I had to choose one thing (over the obvious blessings) that have been life changing for us over the years, it would have to be growth. A friend of mine said to me a couple weeks ago that you cannot experience growth without some growing pains. That statement has definitely been proven true throughout our marriage. As we get older, and grow to become better versions of ourselves we realize we are forever changing. We realize even more of the things we want out of our life, and this is where we are reminded of how compatible we are. I may not always be eager to accept new hobbies (sorry babe, I'm talking about your motorcycle club), but I respect Justin enough to let him ride out his crazy dreams. I know he does the same for me, and we support each other every step of the way. Growing together has proven to be apart of the foundation that our marriage is built on, and even with the growing pains we will always face, I hope this never changes.
As I reflect on these last four years, I am proud of where we are today. We love each other, we encourage one another, and we comfort each other when turmoil hits. Aside from making me a mother to Ava, he has given my heart so many reasons to beam. I not only have a mate for life, but I also have a best friend. Take a look at these then and now photos!
Then (Photo Cred: ACP)
Now (Photo Cred: JOP)
Happy four years of knowing you Woobie!
Happy Friday all!
♥- Leilani
Thursday, April 3, 2014
I realized today that I have been back in Washington for almost three months. In that time I haven't seen or hung out with more than half the people that I expected to. Nothing is like it was when I lived here four years ago. That was to be expected because I am not the same. The crazy thing about being in a place where I have friends and family, is that I'm actually hanging out with more Army wives. I never in a million years though I'd still want to be apart of the military spouse community once I came home. Truth is, they really are the only people that understand what I'm going through. Don't get me wrong (most) of my family and friends are really supportive and considerate, but they just don't get the situation I'm in because they aren't going through it.
Fort Lewis has shown me some pretty great women so far. It's nice because Ava has a good variety of littles to play with. That's another big difference for me. Coming home, a lot of my friends don't have babies. I'm not saying that's an issue, but the dynamics of my friendships are different. I'm not a club hopper anymore. I don't stay out till midnight, I don't drink and get drunk. An outing is based off of Ava's mood or schedule. That's definitely not always easy to work around. The most obvious difference marriage, is another biggy. I just turned twenty-three years old, and I've been married for over three years. Where I'm from, that's not very common. I guess I didn't take the time to realize, just how I changed, so did the people in Washington. Me moving to Georgia didn't mean that their lives stopped. It kind of feels like they are so used to me being gone, It hasn't really made that huge of an impact with me moving back.
The reason we are here is so I can help take care of my mom while she battles pulmonary hypertension. If it wasn't for my mama being sick, I don't think we'd have come back to Washington in just three years. I try to keep that as my focus. My mother is dying, and she needs us now. She's gotten really bad since I've been home, and I'm actually really worried about her. We got into a disagreement so I haven't talked to her in a few days, I honestly hate that. I know she's my mom, but I'm pretty protective of her.
Seeing how things are in Washington, makes me more willing to relocate. I'm not saying I want to, but if I had to leave again, I don't think it'd bother me as much this time. I know how to make friends, and I know how to adjust to new surroundings. I highly doubt Justin will be reenlisting again, but if he did, I'm glad I feel this way.
♥- Leilani
Fort Lewis has shown me some pretty great women so far. It's nice because Ava has a good variety of littles to play with. That's another big difference for me. Coming home, a lot of my friends don't have babies. I'm not saying that's an issue, but the dynamics of my friendships are different. I'm not a club hopper anymore. I don't stay out till midnight, I don't drink and get drunk. An outing is based off of Ava's mood or schedule. That's definitely not always easy to work around. The most obvious difference marriage, is another biggy. I just turned twenty-three years old, and I've been married for over three years. Where I'm from, that's not very common. I guess I didn't take the time to realize, just how I changed, so did the people in Washington. Me moving to Georgia didn't mean that their lives stopped. It kind of feels like they are so used to me being gone, It hasn't really made that huge of an impact with me moving back.
The reason we are here is so I can help take care of my mom while she battles pulmonary hypertension. If it wasn't for my mama being sick, I don't think we'd have come back to Washington in just three years. I try to keep that as my focus. My mother is dying, and she needs us now. She's gotten really bad since I've been home, and I'm actually really worried about her. We got into a disagreement so I haven't talked to her in a few days, I honestly hate that. I know she's my mom, but I'm pretty protective of her.
Seeing how things are in Washington, makes me more willing to relocate. I'm not saying I want to, but if I had to leave again, I don't think it'd bother me as much this time. I know how to make friends, and I know how to adjust to new surroundings. I highly doubt Justin will be reenlisting again, but if he did, I'm glad I feel this way.
♥- Leilani
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