I hadn't planned on blogging today... but how I'm feeling is too much to stick in a Facebook post, so here I am. I've been feeling extremely grateful this morning guys. Like I literally spent a good twenty minutes weeping because I am filled with so much joy. There isn't a particular reason for this, in fact we've had a pretty "normal" few weeks here... I got a text from my husband a while ago and all he said was, "I love you baby." I've heard him say that two million times, but for some reason it just got me today. I had been thinking of him at the exact moment he sent it; I couldn't help but feel super synced! I'm sure it wasn't just that, but a mixture of things. I've been spending quite a bit more time with my family and Ava bug has been absolutely loving it! Watching my parents build strong relationships with Ava is really emotional for me. With Justin's constant moving in the military, I never thought we'd ever have an opportunity to do this  the "traditional" way. I have found the significance in having family so close, and trust me when I say I savor every moment.

Then, of course, there's my kid. You ALL know how deep my love runs for my sweet girl. She's just been so in tune with mama lately. When I need to cuddle or a sweet baby kiss.. there she is. When i'm stressing out about homework or some other obligation.. there she is, reminding me that there are sweeter things to consume my thoughts with. Sometimes I feel like my heart is literally going to burst from all the love her and I share. I'm so grateful for Ava bug, and I don't know what I'd do without the love of my daughter.

Friends have also been a big thing I've been grateful for. Those who have know me for 15 years, 10 years, 5 years, 3 years.... you know that since moving back home I've had a bad habit with not following through on plans (especially since I conveniently moved over an hour away from most), and I am so sorry. Thanks for loving me anyways. Thank you for the calls, texts, Facebook messages, and breakfast runs! Thank you for not giving up on your friend that has made major life adjustments through marriage,motherhood, and military. I love you all!

an even BIGGER thanks to those who still care to ask me how I'm doing. Our lives get so busy, busy, busy, and I am guilty of sometimes taking a listening ear for granted... but I will ALWAYS ask you how you are doing, even with the crazy stuff I may have going on. That's the most important quality in friends. Being able to be there for one another. For that, I am eternally grateful for all the friends and family members that offer me their listening ears.

Again, I didn't plan on posting this, but I think the message is a good one for a Monday. Having lots of love, good energy, good vibes, and positive relationships make life so much more worthwhile. I am a very grateful woman indeed! Here's a sweet baby smile to add sun rays to your rainy Washington day (if you are in Washington of course).

Happy Monday all!

♥- Leilani

Army Wife

I realized today that I have been back in Washington for almost three months. In that time I haven't seen or hung out with more than half the people that I expected to. Nothing is like it was when I lived here four years ago. That was to be expected because I am not the same. The crazy thing about being in a place where I have friends and family, is that I'm actually hanging out with more Army wives. I never in a million years though I'd still want to be apart of the military spouse community once I came home. Truth is, they really are the only people that understand what I'm going through. Don't get me wrong (most) of my family and friends are really supportive and considerate, but they just don't get the situation I'm in because they aren't going through it.

Fort Lewis has shown me some pretty great women so far. It's nice because Ava has a good variety of littles to play with. That's another big difference for me. Coming home, a lot of my friends don't have babies. I'm not saying that's an issue, but the dynamics of my friendships are different. I'm not a club hopper anymore. I don't stay out till midnight, I don't drink and get drunk. An outing is based off of Ava's mood or schedule. That's definitely not always easy to work around. The most obvious difference marriage, is another biggy. I just turned twenty-three years old, and I've been married for over three years. Where I'm from, that's not very common. I guess I didn't take the time to realize, just how I changed, so did the people in Washington. Me moving to Georgia didn't mean that their lives stopped. It kind of feels like they are so used to me being gone, It hasn't really made that huge of an impact with me moving back.

The reason we are here is so I can help take care of my mom while she battles pulmonary hypertension. If it wasn't for my mama being sick, I don't think we'd have come back to Washington in just three years. I try to keep that as my focus. My mother is dying, and she needs us now. She's gotten really bad since I've been home, and I'm actually really worried about her. We got into a disagreement so I haven't talked to her in a few days, I honestly hate that. I know she's my mom, but I'm pretty protective of her.

Seeing how things are in Washington, makes me more willing to relocate. I'm not saying I want to, but if I had to leave again, I don't think it'd bother me as much this time. I know how to make friends, and I know how to adjust to new surroundings. I highly doubt Justin will be reenlisting again, but if he did, I'm glad I feel this way.

♥- Leilani

From soldier, to civilian

Yes, you read that correctly. I know this transition isn't happening overnight, but I am 99.9% positive that my husband is getting out of the Army after his current contract. We've got less than two years until that happens, and I am honestly excited. This topic has been such a huge one for us lately, mainly because we've been here before. Justin was all set to attend ACAP classes the last time he thought he wanted to get out... then overnight (while in the field), he changed his mind. I'm trying to be supportive, but I have to keep an open mind.

I'm trying not to get overly excited about this, because Justin could very well change his mind again. I got to talk to him for quite a bit last night, and he brought up Howl baby # 2. Because he'll be spending quite a bit of time away from us in the coming months, we are trying to plan the "perfect" time for conception. Talking about another baby right now has made it feel even more real. I'm nervous about it (only for the fertility route we are taking). What if we have multiples? What if it takes us months (we don't have together) to conceive? What if it takes the first time, and Justin deploys during my pregnancy? There is definitely a lot of uncertainty here. One thing is for sure, I'm glad I have my family by my side this time around.

I'm so thankful for the friends and family I have. I really am. Yesterday I got to spend much needed time with a good friend of mine I've known since high school. As soon as she walked through my front door, it was like a burst of fresh air. I missed her so much. Ava took to Aria right away as well. It was so sweet. She actually reached out for her.. which if you knew how much my daughter loved being in her mama's arms, you would be shocked. She let Aria play with her, and give her kisses. It was like Ava had met her before. I can't begin to express how much it means to me that my bug will grow up around the people I love most. Justin's in the field right now, and i don't even feel lonely.

I don't feel like I need to him to hurry on back. Don't get me wrong, I miss my snuggle bears, but In his absence I have found myself filling my days with friends, family, and constructive projects. The time is flying by, and I feel like he just left yesterday. We have talked every single day since he left, so that definitely is an added bonus. If we were still in Georgia, the amount of talking time would either be non existent, or slim to none. He's definitely still busy, but we chat throughout the day, and have lengthy chats at night.

Yesterday, I had a really emotional mommy moment. A random couple stopped me in Fred Meyer, and said that Ava's smile had made their day. I looked down at my innocent little nine month old, and I just started crying. Someone so small continues to make the biggest impacts in my life. It was refreshing to hear perfect strangers have kind of the same thing occur. I hope Ava continues to be a "ripple" in the lives of others. I am reminded (daily) that somehow there is more room in my heart to love my daughter more than I did the day before. I am so lucky to be her mama, and I am so grateful for the pure joy she brings Justin and I.

On that note, I am off. In daddy's absence, I have been having tea parties with my little love bug. Enjoy your Sunday all! P.S. I'm going to be 23 in five days!

 ♥- Leilani

You & Me

I can't believe it's the weekend ALREADY! It's going to be a busy one. Justin is getting some custom things done to his motorcycle, we've got a Savannah day ahead of us, and hopefully a beach afternoon if this weather holds up (SO SICK OF GEORGIA & IT'S RAIN) One thing I love about the weekends, other than Justin having a couple days off work, is our time. Ava goes to bed an hour or so before us, and sometimes it's nice. We have our couple time. It reminds me that things haven't changed all that much, even with our new addition. We still have our pillow chat, cuddle time, playing in the dark, stuff like that. It's still there. Tonight, for example, instead of going out with the guys, drinking beer and what have you, he's home. He's like, "Tonight is your night babe" I love that about him. He's got a great balance between guy stuff and family stuff. I think that's important. We both have our social lives with eachother and without eachother. There are a ton of things I'd rather be absentee with, you know, "guy stuff"  Well I'm off :) I forgot the whip cream for our home made banana splits! Off to the store I go! Enjoy your family this weekend guys! These are the times of our lives!

Goodbye Georgia

This is not a bittersweet post, this is one of the SWEETEST posts I will ever write. Each passing day brings us a day closer to starting a new chapter at a different installation. I am beaming on the inside. When I got the news that Justin had orders, I panicked. I HATE change. It took me so long to warm up to Georgia, and now I have to say goodbye to everything I know here, everything that has become familiar. Now, after almost six months of knowing about the move, I feel really good about it. The best things I could have taken away from Georgia, I already have. My daughter will always be a constant reminder that Georgia was so good to me. Without our endocrinologist, who knows If I'd have Ava or not. I am forever grateful for Georgia, because Georgia gave me Princess A. Georgia also gave me more time with my husband. If Justin had stayed at Fort Lewis he would have deployed shortly after we got married. Without Georgia, I wouldn't have been able to spend two years with Justin before he deployed. We needed that time to grow as a couple, and we did. I learned that not every army wife is a friend. Just because we endure the same battles, at times, doesn't mean we are meant to mesh. Without Georgia I would have never known what it feels like to have no family, or close friends near by. This molded me into a stronger woman. Into a more aware woman. It also gave me a larger appreciation for my family. I never knew how it felt to not have them around, now that I do, I love them more than I ever did. The most important value I can take away from Georgia, would be that Georgia forced me to learn how to stand on my own two feet. Justin and I had nothing when we started. To look at how much we have now, is unbelievable. We've built a home. We didn't run to our families when we found ourselves in a bind, we learned how to rely on one another. I found out what the true definition of independence is. For that, I will never forget Georgia. Lastly, I found true friendship and love outside of my "norm" I have met people from all different walks of life, people I wouldn't have given a second glance to back home, people that had a different upbringing than me, people that come from a different coast than me. AND I have learned to love them, appreciate them, and understand them. Those same people stood by my side for an entire deployment. While I was pregnant. They were there every step of the way. For that I will forever be indebted to Georgia. You gave me a life, I never thought I'd live. I'm glad to be leaving, but I won't ever forget you. 

So good to me Saturday

I went to a two year old's birthday party today and this party confirmed I am STILL a firm believer you can never have too much pink ! My friend, Ann decorated her entire home in a pink//princess theme for her daughter's big day ! It felt so good to be around such positive energy. Even with kids all around, there was so much laughter, and EATING and just warmth in her home today. I absolutely love events like this. The cake was just the highlight of the day, it was magical !

The photographer I've had my entire pregnancy (https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaSimmonsPhotography)

captured a couple belly photos for me today. Check out my growing girl at 37 weeks 2 days.

I'm friends with Victoria so obviously my opinions are a tad bias ;) But seriously It's been a blessing to have such a dependable,focused, and easy going photographer throughout my pregnancy. She will also be accompanying me in labor and delivery  as well as Ava's first newborn session. Being a military spouse means you move a lot LOL so take a look at some of the work she's done. You never know, she might be in your area next. 

Lastly, I wanted to rave about my changing station in Ava's room. I've gotten all my cloth prepped and ready to go. I purchased a wipe warmer for her cloth wipes at home, and I FINALLY picked up a pail for her cloth diaper pail liner. 

I've got newborn prefolds on the top left. My diaper caddy filled with covers, nipple creams, and tea packages by earth mama angel baby to help with the production of breast milk.  I've got my pocket diapers prepped, stuffed, and ready to go on the right. Organic coconut oil for her diaper rash substitute. The wipes warmer is also on this shelf only because our hospital bags are packed on her dresser. Once a few things get switched around after Ava's birth, nothing will be as cluttered. On the bottom I have the next sized prefolds, my breast pump, and a few other gadgets to help with breastfeeding. You see my trash pail for her dirty cloth diapers? Cost me $12.00 ! I bought it at the PX on post here. It just amazes me how much money cloth diapering families will spend on a pail. They are all, for lack of better description for waste.. poop ! pee ! I see no point in spending thirty dollars on a pail, when the cheaper ones do the trick ! Mine is a step pail. I love it ! 

I'm so ready for induction. I've got 12 days until that occurs, unless Ava comes sooner. I'm nesting, nesting, nesting. Counting down the days ! I hope everyone had a positive vibes Saturday, like I did ! 

It's getting HOT

Georgia weather is becoming unbearable. If it's not burning sun rays then it's rainy days with like 100% humidity. I can't catch a break ! I'm sticky, icky, and I feel more uncomfortable because of the climate than I do my pregnancy. This week has flown by. I feel like I have to slow down and catch my breath because I am all over the place. I had my first monitoring appointment for Ava today. They just looked at her practice breathing, blood flow in the umbilical cord, placenta, etc. Just making sure she's active and tip top. She passed those tests just fine as well as my non stress test. I got Ava's baby book today, along with some newborn outfits for her first couple weeks. I even found my maternity dress by accident today ! It's super cute and I can't wait until I am able to post some previews of my maternity photos !

A friend of mine also assembled Ava's glider today ! I love it. It came smaller than I expected, but since Justin and I are small people. I see this chair working out just fine. I feel like the next few weeks will consist of me nesting hardcore and spending more time in Ava's room, in her chair just organizing and prepping for her arrival. 

Pregnancy week 35 is going to seriously consist of me doing things I won't be able to do once I go into labor. The tags on our car and Justin's motorcycle expire on his birthday, which is like a few weeks away and it's imperative that I get that done ! I seriously need to pack and wash all of Ava's things. The rest of my final "Ava" shipment arrives next Tuesday so that's my deadline. I also have to run back and forth to my doctor's appointments twice a week for Ava monitoring. So between that, getting the house ready for baby, and getting the house ready for a  soldier that's coming home, I'd say I have my work cut out for me. 

It kind of sounds like I'm not giving myself any relaxation and down time, I promise that I am. Each night I come home I take a cold shower, talk to baby girl, and just relax afterwards. I have a couple hours of hardcore "zen time" I practice relaxation breathing, do my kegals, and just listen to pachelbel on pandora. 

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that's keeping Ava, Justin and I in their prayers. The power of faith can move mountains. We are fortunate to have so many people in our lives care for us and love us so deeply. 

On that note,

I hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend !