I just went through my blog email for the first time in almost two weeks and I was surprisingly shocked with the amount of emails I received. It was a tad bit more than normal, but I got through them all today and there is one I'd like to share. One of my reader's named Michelle asked what advice I would give to a newly wed couple that was thinking about conceiving. Before even attempting to write this blog, I attempted to write her back with as much sensitivity and rationalization as possible. Everyone has their own opinion on this subject, but I'd really like to share mine and hopefully shed some additional light for Michelle and my other readers. If I could give a newly wed couple one piece of advice when it comes to conceiving, I would tell them to wait, and here's why. Justin and I lost a baby during our second month of marriage, and while the experience will always leave us heartbroken, I'm not sure we would be the same STRONG couple if we were parents before we really built a marital foundation.

I thank God everyday for giving me such a strong lover, provider, and friend in my husband. All of these things came to be in our first couple years of marriage prior to conceiving Ava. In fact, the reason why we tried for another baby was because I had no hesitation in my heart, mind, or soul that this man would be the person I continued to build my life with. During those two childless years, Justin and I were able to experience each other in so many different ways. We found mutual hobbies, individual ones, and we tried new things together. We had time to stay up late, sleep in late, or wake up extremely early. We planned vacations without limitation (just kidding, within the Army's limitations), we were able to go to adult get togethers, and paint the town anytime we wanted. More importantly, we got to get angry together, sad together, and find different ways to express our love. We got to relish in our alone time together, fall in love repetitively together (still do this... a lot), and make up after small little disagreements. I think the most important thing of all would be learning how to communicate with your spouse more effectively. I can't tell you how many arguments I had in my first year of marriage that could have been prevented if I had just communicated effectively. Looking back, I'm glad we learned it early on, so we didn't introduce that negative energy into Ava's life. You don't know what type of married couple you are going to be when you are a newly wed. This applies to people who might have been together for years prior to marriage, or those who were only together for months.

Marriage is a LIFE changer. Just like having children. They are without a doubt one of the biggest if not the biggest LIFE changer. Giving yourself time to adjust to one person can already be challenging, but adding a baby to the mix before building a strong marital foundation can really shake some things up. I know life throws us curveballs and you may very well be the pregnant newlywed.. I know, because that was me. But, if you are completely in control on whether or not to try for a baby, my opinion is truly to wait. Love your husband with all your might. Love your wife with all your might. Live together. Work out all the "first year kinks" together. Let things be easy before they get hard. Babies are amazing, but our lives are completely shifted with their arrivals. That newly wed phase is one we can never get back. Own it. Rock it. Embrace it!

2011 - Flashback of our childless days

Happy Friday all!

♥- Leilani

From soldier, to civilian

Yes, you read that correctly. I know this transition isn't happening overnight, but I am 99.9% positive that my husband is getting out of the Army after his current contract. We've got less than two years until that happens, and I am honestly excited. This topic has been such a huge one for us lately, mainly because we've been here before. Justin was all set to attend ACAP classes the last time he thought he wanted to get out... then overnight (while in the field), he changed his mind. I'm trying to be supportive, but I have to keep an open mind.

I'm trying not to get overly excited about this, because Justin could very well change his mind again. I got to talk to him for quite a bit last night, and he brought up Howl baby # 2. Because he'll be spending quite a bit of time away from us in the coming months, we are trying to plan the "perfect" time for conception. Talking about another baby right now has made it feel even more real. I'm nervous about it (only for the fertility route we are taking). What if we have multiples? What if it takes us months (we don't have together) to conceive? What if it takes the first time, and Justin deploys during my pregnancy? There is definitely a lot of uncertainty here. One thing is for sure, I'm glad I have my family by my side this time around.

I'm so thankful for the friends and family I have. I really am. Yesterday I got to spend much needed time with a good friend of mine I've known since high school. As soon as she walked through my front door, it was like a burst of fresh air. I missed her so much. Ava took to Aria right away as well. It was so sweet. She actually reached out for her.. which if you knew how much my daughter loved being in her mama's arms, you would be shocked. She let Aria play with her, and give her kisses. It was like Ava had met her before. I can't begin to express how much it means to me that my bug will grow up around the people I love most. Justin's in the field right now, and i don't even feel lonely.

I don't feel like I need to him to hurry on back. Don't get me wrong, I miss my snuggle bears, but In his absence I have found myself filling my days with friends, family, and constructive projects. The time is flying by, and I feel like he just left yesterday. We have talked every single day since he left, so that definitely is an added bonus. If we were still in Georgia, the amount of talking time would either be non existent, or slim to none. He's definitely still busy, but we chat throughout the day, and have lengthy chats at night.

Yesterday, I had a really emotional mommy moment. A random couple stopped me in Fred Meyer, and said that Ava's smile had made their day. I looked down at my innocent little nine month old, and I just started crying. Someone so small continues to make the biggest impacts in my life. It was refreshing to hear perfect strangers have kind of the same thing occur. I hope Ava continues to be a "ripple" in the lives of others. I am reminded (daily) that somehow there is more room in my heart to love my daughter more than I did the day before. I am so lucky to be her mama, and I am so grateful for the pure joy she brings Justin and I.

On that note, I am off. In daddy's absence, I have been having tea parties with my little love bug. Enjoy your Sunday all! P.S. I'm going to be 23 in five days!

 ♥- Leilani