From soldier, to civilian

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Yes, you read that correctly. I know this transition isn't happening overnight, but I am 99.9% positive that my husband is getting out of the Army after his current contract. We've got less than two years until that happens, and I am honestly excited. This topic has been such a huge one for us lately, mainly because we've been here before. Justin was all set to attend ACAP classes the last time he thought he wanted to get out... then overnight (while in the field), he changed his mind. I'm trying to be supportive, but I have to keep an open mind.

I'm trying not to get overly excited about this, because Justin could very well change his mind again. I got to talk to him for quite a bit last night, and he brought up Howl baby # 2. Because he'll be spending quite a bit of time away from us in the coming months, we are trying to plan the "perfect" time for conception. Talking about another baby right now has made it feel even more real. I'm nervous about it (only for the fertility route we are taking). What if we have multiples? What if it takes us months (we don't have together) to conceive? What if it takes the first time, and Justin deploys during my pregnancy? There is definitely a lot of uncertainty here. One thing is for sure, I'm glad I have my family by my side this time around.

I'm so thankful for the friends and family I have. I really am. Yesterday I got to spend much needed time with a good friend of mine I've known since high school. As soon as she walked through my front door, it was like a burst of fresh air. I missed her so much. Ava took to Aria right away as well. It was so sweet. She actually reached out for her.. which if you knew how much my daughter loved being in her mama's arms, you would be shocked. She let Aria play with her, and give her kisses. It was like Ava had met her before. I can't begin to express how much it means to me that my bug will grow up around the people I love most. Justin's in the field right now, and i don't even feel lonely.

I don't feel like I need to him to hurry on back. Don't get me wrong, I miss my snuggle bears, but In his absence I have found myself filling my days with friends, family, and constructive projects. The time is flying by, and I feel like he just left yesterday. We have talked every single day since he left, so that definitely is an added bonus. If we were still in Georgia, the amount of talking time would either be non existent, or slim to none. He's definitely still busy, but we chat throughout the day, and have lengthy chats at night.

Yesterday, I had a really emotional mommy moment. A random couple stopped me in Fred Meyer, and said that Ava's smile had made their day. I looked down at my innocent little nine month old, and I just started crying. Someone so small continues to make the biggest impacts in my life. It was refreshing to hear perfect strangers have kind of the same thing occur. I hope Ava continues to be a "ripple" in the lives of others. I am reminded (daily) that somehow there is more room in my heart to love my daughter more than I did the day before. I am so lucky to be her mama, and I am so grateful for the pure joy she brings Justin and I.

On that note, I am off. In daddy's absence, I have been having tea parties with my little love bug. Enjoy your Sunday all! P.S. I'm going to be 23 in five days!

 ♥- Leilani

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