Army Wife

Thursday, April 3, 2014
I realized today that I have been back in Washington for almost three months. In that time I haven't seen or hung out with more than half the people that I expected to. Nothing is like it was when I lived here four years ago. That was to be expected because I am not the same. The crazy thing about being in a place where I have friends and family, is that I'm actually hanging out with more Army wives. I never in a million years though I'd still want to be apart of the military spouse community once I came home. Truth is, they really are the only people that understand what I'm going through. Don't get me wrong (most) of my family and friends are really supportive and considerate, but they just don't get the situation I'm in because they aren't going through it.

Fort Lewis has shown me some pretty great women so far. It's nice because Ava has a good variety of littles to play with. That's another big difference for me. Coming home, a lot of my friends don't have babies. I'm not saying that's an issue, but the dynamics of my friendships are different. I'm not a club hopper anymore. I don't stay out till midnight, I don't drink and get drunk. An outing is based off of Ava's mood or schedule. That's definitely not always easy to work around. The most obvious difference marriage, is another biggy. I just turned twenty-three years old, and I've been married for over three years. Where I'm from, that's not very common. I guess I didn't take the time to realize, just how I changed, so did the people in Washington. Me moving to Georgia didn't mean that their lives stopped. It kind of feels like they are so used to me being gone, It hasn't really made that huge of an impact with me moving back.

The reason we are here is so I can help take care of my mom while she battles pulmonary hypertension. If it wasn't for my mama being sick, I don't think we'd have come back to Washington in just three years. I try to keep that as my focus. My mother is dying, and she needs us now. She's gotten really bad since I've been home, and I'm actually really worried about her. We got into a disagreement so I haven't talked to her in a few days, I honestly hate that. I know she's my mom, but I'm pretty protective of her.

Seeing how things are in Washington, makes me more willing to relocate. I'm not saying I want to, but if I had to leave again, I don't think it'd bother me as much this time. I know how to make friends, and I know how to adjust to new surroundings. I highly doubt Justin will be reenlisting again, but if he did, I'm glad I feel this way.

♥- Leilani

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