She hit

Tuesday, March 31, 2015
It does no justice for me or for you to write a blog solely about all the amazing things that my toddler does. So, keeping that in mind, I want to talk to you guys about something that happened on our most recent play date yesterday. For the most part, my child is a sweet kid. She's not obnoxious, she isn't rude, and she's very caring. She's not suffering from the "spoiled brat syndrome'  but she is very much so a toddler. When I say that, I mean all of those "terrific two" characteristics have started to submerge. When I tell her no, she tests the limits. When I take something away, she has a full blown meltdown. As of yesterday, when her play pal didn't give her a hug when she wanted one, she hit. I was seriously shocked you guys. Ava doesn't hit us, nor has she really hit anyone else, so imagine my surprise when she hauls off and hits another sweet child.  My immediate reaction was to let her know it wasn't okay. She got a little emotional when I was shelling out discipline, but then she immediately tried to give "lovins" and hugs to sweet Kenadee. It was still really odd for me to see. I wasn't embarrassed about it, just really surprised, and the mama friend I was with was more than understanding, but it's just insane to be in this phase already.

To make matters worse, Ava's little "tude" kind of continued and in the mists of discipling her (again), I swatted her butt. This is a completely foreign concept for her (i'm sure), because I can count on one hand how many times I've done that. She immediately started crying and snuggled into me for comfort. I felt like a horrible person, if I'm being honest. I tell my child not to hit, and then I haul off and swat her butt? None the less I made a decision that I won't be doing that again. while I know a swat isn't detrimental, I don't feel as if I'm teaching her anything constructive from it. In happier news, We totally rocked our quick little playdate and let the girls continue to chase bubbles, birds, and enjoy their free range freedom.

Once in the car and on the way home, I started to reflect on my child and her behavior a little bit. Why is it that unknowingly in the back of my mind I expected her to be "obedient" for always? Like I expected my toddler not to grow up and test all waters with me? She is a flawed human being, even if I see perfection when I look at her. She is growing and changing and developing more rapidly than I'm willing to admit sometimes. We have to embrace the "suckage" that comes along with raising children. Sometimes that means they hit, push, throw themselves down, and ride rocking horses on your furniture after you've said no. This is the not so fun part of parenting for me. I hate having to discipline Ava, but I know that it's necessary. She needs boundaries, limitations, and she needs to know when something is not okay. This is also a growing and learning process for Justin and I.

Even if yesterday, my child wasn't as sweet as candy the entire day, one thing is for sure... Ava knows her right from wrong. It was so funny because my mama friend was saying how quick Ava was to try and make things right after she hit Kenadee. I thought about it more, and she really was. She knew what she had done was wrong. That notion right there is one of my proudest moments with my kid. For her to grasp that so early on made me feel like I had done something completely right by her in more ways than one. So you see, this phase clearly is going to be trying, emotional, and full of growing pains... but if you are noticing that your toddler "gets it" at the end of the day, I still count that as a success! How many mama's are going through "the phases" with their toddlers? Share all your stories with me in the comments or by email! Sharing motherhood is such a comfort.

Here's a picture of my pretty girl and her beautiful curls from yesterday.

Happy last day of March all!

♥- Leilani

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