Saint Patrick's Day dawned upon us yesterday, our household was filled with excitement and anticipation. Except Justin and I dropped the ball - normally we set up traps, maybe leave out treats, and the kids eagerly await the mischievous antics of this leprechaun. The younger three were disappointed to wake up to nothing leprechaun-ish in sight. Because he failed to make an experience, there were a lot of questions... and of course, Ava took a deep dive (in Ava fashion) to really make sense of what was happening. This led Ava to question the leprechaun's existence as a whole.
At that moment, Ava looked up at me with uncertainty in her eyes and I felt a pang of guilt wash over me. I knew that this was the beginning of the end of an era – the era of childhood innocence and boundless belief in magic. Just this past winter, during Christmas, Ava had shed tears over her fading belief in Santa Claus. It was a heartbreaking moment. I told her that at some point all people come to question Santa, the magic that comes with Christmas, etc. I couldn't bring myself to flat out say the words and she found comfort in our talks and was able to enjoy our normally scheduled holiday fun like she normally would. I knew this time was different. I knew I needed to just approach this with honesty and love. I looked at Ava and told her to ask me anything she had questions about. She started with her doubts about the leprechaun and I told her that the leprechaun was indeed, not real. She then asked about Santa, again... and I explained that while the physical embodiment of Santa may not be real, the spirit of giving and the joy of the season are very much alive, fueled by the love people have for their children or special people in their lives. Ava asked about the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and even Jingles, our elf. She asked about it all. I found myself grappling with the bittersweet reality of her growing up. Gone are the days of her being my small, sweet girl, eyes wide with wonder at the world around her. Yet, I know that growth is inevitable, and while it may sting a little, it's also a beautiful part of life's journey.
Making the decision to be honest with Ava about the holidays she asked about, and promising to always answer her questions truthfully was the right thing. To be honest, Justin has wanted to have this talk for a while now because he didn't want our little girl heading into middle school believing - I felt differently. To have a child embrace childhood this long in today's world is an absolute blessing in my eyes. Ava got to be a kid, a real kid - and she got so much joy out of all that we chose to do.
This is a new chapter for us, one that comes with its own set of challenges and discoveries. While I may miss the simplicity of her belief in these magical beings, I'm also excited to witness her navigate this new phase of understanding and discovery.
The silver lining in all of this is that we now have a new partner in crime when it comes to spreading magic – Ava herself. She may no longer believe in the tooth fairy or the leprechaun, but she's more than eager to play her part in keeping the magic alive for her younger siblings and for herself, in her own way.
So, goodbye to the era of tooth fairies, leprechauns, and Santa Claus, and hello to the next chapter of our journey together. As we bid farewell to the magic of childhood innocence, we embrace the new beginnings that lie ahead, filled with love, laughter, and the joy of discovery.
We love you, Ava. We love you so big.
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