40 Weeks 1 Day

Yesterday was the day that my little Livy bean was due to arrive. That's the funny thing about predicted due dates though, they can definitely be wrong. I feel like I've got a million emotions surging at this point, and they all lead back to one thought... Envisioning my sweet girl in my arms. I had an OB appointment yesterday, and it went exactly how I expected... talks of medical induction yet again. I was checked again, I actually allowed the OB to do a membrane sweep (in hopes it would jump start something), and she went over the risks of allowing myself to be pregnant for longer. Stillbirth was mentioned and that put me in such a scary place. No one wants to hear that their completely healthy baby could die for no good reason. I know it scared Justin to pieces and it actually had him bringing up the possibility of me being induced. I won't lie, even I have been worried about my decisions potentially harming my baby. The goal is to get her here safely, even if that means I lose out on some of the things I sought after with birth. I made a horrible decision to take castor oil (in a moment of desperation), and I am regretting that without a doubt. Intense contractions, cramping (shooting) stomach pains.... only to have them lead to nothing but discomfort. I won't be trying to do any other "natural" form of induction on my own, as it is clear that this child isn't coming out until she is ready. I'm really hoping this is my last pregnancy highlight, so here it is!

How far Along: 40 weeks 1 day

Nicknames for baby: Livy Bean, Olivia

Size of baby: An estimated 8 pounds (the size of a jack fruit) 

Gender: It's a girl! 

Symptoms: Breast tenderness, pelvic straining, itchy belly, and contractions.

Best moment this week: Knowing that my body is slowly but surely prepping itself for labor. Being so dilated, being almost completely thinned out, etc.

Movement: Her movement has actually changed in this last week or so, and apparently it's the new norm for how far along I am.

Food Cravings: Cranberry juice.

Food Aversions: WE ARE FINALLY IN THE CLEAR HERE. 

What I Miss: At this point I miss being able to actively move the way I want. I cannot bend over, I wake up with back aches, I can't shave my own legs... I am just ready to be able to do things on my own and obviously meet my little one.

Sleep: I get extremely good sleep, once I am out, I am out! Except, I started drooling (yuck). BUT I do get interrupted if a Charlie horse comes about in the middle of the night.

Justin: Supportive just doesn't do him justice. This week has been scary for both of us and I know with this being his first time having to process some of these feelings up close and in person... it hasn't been easy for him. I've woken him up on more than one occasion because my contractions have been so strong. I've woken him up for comfort or to phone labor and delivery. He rolls with the punches and i truly believe that will be my saving grace in this experience.

Ava: My trooper! Here lately a good chunk of the attentions she gets from mama is gone. I have been napping more, doing less, and just trying to physically gain the strength I need for potentially going into labor each day. She has been completely understanding and clinging to her daddy a bit more in my absence. 

What I am looking forward to this week: I am truthfully looking forward to meeting Olivia. I really hope that happens in the next week. This little girl has been swooned over for the last 9 months and I'm ready to meet her.

Happy or moody most of the time: I'm happy, but also very anxious. My mind is all over the place but the one thing I want/need is very clear. Do whatever I have to do in order to deliver a healthy babe. No matter the route, that's the end goal. I need to remind myself of this daily. As a mother, everything gets puts aside (including my own pride) when it comes to the well being of my babes. 

39 weeks 6 days pregnant in this photo.

♥- Leilani