2019 was one of my favorite years to date. We had a lot of *firsts* for our family of five, a lot of connection, exploration, and a good amount of travel. 

Life Update

2019

I brought in the new year the same way I have for the last eight years. Kissing my hunk of a husband and holding one of our Howland babies. Though this year we found ourselves binge-watching one of our new favorite shows instead of watching the countdown show from start to finish, I still enjoyed my evening and I got to spend it with the man of my dreams. That is always the best part. We spent New Year's day with family (thanks cousin Kimi) and it could not have gone better! The girls were completely spoiled (once again) with sweet treats, space for them to enjoy themselves, and yummy food. Justin attempted to teach me how to play poker alongside my cousins but I never actually got the chance to play a hand. Justin, on the other hand, played several. It warmed my heart to see him bonding with family and making new memories. I could see this being a regular thing for sure. I spent my afternoon talking to my great Aunty Waki and learning more about our family and their heritage.

I love that I have the opportunity to do that. Outside of my grandma, a couple of her brothers, and a few of her sisters, there aren’t many children left from their generation. It is so important to me to soak up all the information and tradition that I absolutely can. Liam actually let Aunty Waki hold him without crying for a few minutes (we are making progress) and it felt good to enjoy my gumbo without holding him on my lap. This is going to be the hardest part about being surrounded by loved ones. I’m not used to having all these helping hands ready and willing to assist. I know I need to be better about it for my own sake, so it is something I plan to work on.

Instead of making resolutions this year, I chose to focus on reflection. This last year taught me SO much and the growth I had was inevitable (so dang good for me). That in mind, I know going into 2019 I will continue to pursue the best version of myself for me, my children, my husband, and my tribe. Here’s to the new year and continued growth in each and every single thing that I do.

Happy New Years!

Adios, 2018

I cannot believe that 2018 is coming to a close and 2019 is just a wake up away. Woah. If you would have told me this time last year that we’d be living in Washington right now, I probably wouldn’t have believed you… OR I probably would have sobbed some big ole’ happy tears . In my defense, I was really pregnant. Looking back at 2018, I can happily say we welcomed more good into our lives than anything else. Justin and I celebrated seven years of marriage. I’m happy to report that we averted the “seven year itch” and we will leave this year stronger than ever, more consistent, and connected. We went through a whole heap of growing pains, but we are back in our groove and it feels good! Of all the things I love most about reflecting, its being able to watch my relationship with Justin grow, change, and become the best version it can be. I mean that. We are walking into our ninth new year’s together and I’m just so dang proud of us. We have a lot to be proud of!

2018 also consisted of lots of celebration. We celebrated the birth of our son, mommy and daddy had their first * just us two* date night in over two years (thank you Cantu family), and Justin successful converted to a permanent recruiter for the Army. That last bit of celebration has afforded our lives with so much more stability and consistency. I am forever grateful for the sacrifices my husband makes for the greater good of this family and his military career. He is the best! Watching my daughter begin Kindergarten was a pretty big celebration too. I cannot believe our first born is in full fledged school AND thriving so quickly. Ava continues to be such an incredible kid. She’s got this energy surrounding her that everyone wants to be apart of and we just adore her so. I spent a lot of time celebrating the differences within my kids - Olivia Rose is our fiery siracha saucy babe and she put us through the ringer this year. Learning how to parent her accordingly was a little challenging, but we are better parents for it. I am still constantly blown away with how smart our little girl is and how well she articulates herself. She lives out loud and she is so dang fearless.

2018 also left me with more humility and honesty. My safe space was cleared of unnecessary clutter and my life is better for it. I will be walking into 2019 with selfless, honesty, healthy, wholesome relationships and people… Its embarrassing that it took me this long to arrive but now that I have? I will never look back. I used to cling to relationships that blossomed during the season when my mom was still alive. A part of me thought that those relationships would remind me of happier times, especially when I had her. That just isn’t true. Like at all. I’m really glad I’ve realized that.

We spent the last part of this year marking off some bucket list things with the grand canyon and embarking on our first road trip as a family of five. I still cant believe we were able to make that happen. Arizona was a first for me and it was even sweeter being able to experience that alongside the love of my life and our children, in the SNOW no less. The kids got to meet some of their extended family in California and Washington for the first time, and they got to play on a mountain to send 2018 out right!

I know 2019 is going to be filled with a lot more road trippin’ - California, Oregon, and new adventures within the state. I know that we will be celebrating our son as he hits his first mega milestone in turning ONE YEAR OLD. I know that the ocean will be just a drive away and that we will be making that drive countless times. Among the things I do know, there are a couple I’m uncertain about. Will we conceive another babe this year? Will we buy our first home? I’m excited to find out those answers.

Tonight my love and I will watch the ball drop, sip on our cider, and get that new year’s kiss I look forward to every single year.

Happy New Year, all! See you in 2019!