Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I am in such a rut this morning. Justin starts clearing this installation next week, and I am freaking out. The compassionate reassignment packet keeps getting sent back down. The wrong commander signed the wrong form, Justin forgot to sign a form, etc. It seems like there's always something missing. I had originally been told that it was already at HRC, apparently that's not the case. It got sent back down to battalion then back up to brigade (sorry if I lost you with the MIL lingo). I'm just so frustrated. I'm excited that Justin is going through the process that will allow us to leave Georgia. I just wish the duty station was one that was closer to my mom.

I have been feeling just absolutely awful this week. I'm ready to be near her. I'm ready to spend time with her. Phone calls, skype, and photo sharing have been great, but I'm just ready to have personal time with my mama. I also miss my little sister. Our relationship has been strained pretty much our entire lives. With everything going on with our mom, Regina becoming an Aunt, and me being MIA these last three years, our relationship has gotten a lot stronger. I guess I'm just missing my family.

On the brighter side of things, Justin got a definite leave date. In about a month (give or take) we will be spending forty days straight together. That is one thing I love about my husband being in the Army. There are plenty of times where we don't get enough time together, but there are a handful of times where we get A TON of time together. PCSing is one of those times. Regardless of where we are moving, I still have to start buying boxes. We decided to start packing up in November, just to give ourselves plenty of time. I forgot how quickly this time of year goes. If you're reading this, say a little prayer for the Howlands. Let's hope we hear something soon about this reassignment.

All of this has really made me grow up. Most things in a day don't really matter to me. I find myself being a hermit most of the time. I stay home with Ava. I take pictures and videos of her development. I read to her, I cuddle her. I just cherish Justin and our Bug. I'm not like full blown depressed, I guess I'm just locating clarity within myself. Realizing that we can make the most of the time we have, even if it's not forever. That's a hard pill to swallow. I've been doing so good, I think I've been trying to prevent another breakdown. Looks like it's out of my control. I'm hoping this weekend will be better than this week has been.

Alright, I'm off! We are heading to an Frg event tonight. I'm not thrilled about going, but we are donating canned goods AND it's mandatory! Happy Wednesday all!

♥- Leilani

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