To know you is to absolutely love you. Nearly three. I love you, sweet girl.
An open letter to my daughter: Tatum, you are 2.5 years old.
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Justin,
Today, I bundled all three of our babies in their winter wear and we walked into Ava's school for pastries with parents. This setting, all too familiar to me, was filled with bright-eyed elementary aged kiddos and their moms/dads. As I sat down to listen to the head of the booster club talk about some of the volunteer opportunities, the thought that entered my mind was, "I'm so excited that I can volunteer this Spring." The second thought was, "I'm so glad I get to be a part of all this." The very next moment I thought about how blessed I feel to have been given this opportunity to raise my children in this all-knowing way. To be available to them without feeling guilty about missing any other obligation... and then, of course, you come to mind. We made the decision before we even had children, but I want you to know, how grateful I truly am that you have afforded our family a life where our children have access to their mom 24/7. That is something I never had as a child and it means absolutely everything to watch my children experience every single bit of childhood that I was unable to.
Being able to get them ready in the morning and pick them up from school in the afternoon. Being able to take the middle of the day frozen yogurt trips or finding ourselves in some magical book from our local library. Making the decision to let them play at the park a little longer before dinner and having the patience to let their little hands help while I'm cooking dinner. Taking pictures of all of their moments and being able to explain to them why I wanted to. Dressing up Barbie dolls and braiding their hair and then turning to my side to bang the drums to their hearts' content. Watching the kids say their prayers and snuggling together to watch one of their favorite Disney programs. Hearing every random thought that enters their mind and helping our oldest write down all her hopes/dreams.
I want you to know that the mother I am is in large part because of you. You always hear me talk about living in this world where motherhood is celebrated, yet fatherhood isn't discussed nearly as much as it should be... and it should be. Your fatherhood has been incredibly supportive and equally as necessary for our growing family. It is because of your encouragement, that I felt confident enough to try every avenue of parenting that we deemed imperative for our little ones. It is because of your support that I don't put myself down any longer about being just a "stay at home mom" because let's face it, I'm basically a rock star living on a prayer and the occasional coffee. It is because of your love that I am elated to be in this season that we are in for the sake of our family. I love you so, so much honey (I'm getting choked up as I write this because you are by far one of the most incredible people I have ever known and I just admire you, babe).
People often tell me that I am this incredible mama and while I always say thank you, I wish they knew all the many details that go into making my motherhood possible.
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
As we prepare to move our family over 1600 miles back to the state we consider home, I can’t help but think about how different things will be. For starters, we will be near family again. Having grandparents over will be a normal thing, attending the birthdays of the many cousins our family has will be a normal thing, and having tangible support will be a normal thing. The kids will be able to build bonds, spend time, and enjoy some of the people that shaped and impacted me at their age. I will once again be in a space where I trust people to watch my children without me there. Justin and I can have our date nights back. I mean, there is just so much we will be able to do with this move… but let me pause.
These last two and a half years have been some of the hardest fought I’ve experienced so far in my life. In the last two years I experienced my first time being away from our military friends turned family. I experienced being away from a military base for the first time, being away from military normalcy, in addition to being away from my family. This move was hard. I was transplanted into a world that offered zero familiarity. I was able to maneuver it with my husband of course, but also, thankfully, the support and love from those via social media, email, text messages, and phone calls. You guys don’t know how much all of that love and support meant to me throughout our time here. You had no clue that reaching out to me was a life line i so desperately depended on. You had no idea that so many of your uplifting words and constant conversation kept me sane.
When I worried about my girls whenever they got colds- I was instantly flooded with prayers, good thoughts, and good people reaching out with homemade chicken noodle soup recipes. When Justin got a big promotion this past year, we were, again, flooded with so many good vibes and good people congratulating my husband on his achievements. When we lost one of our twins this last pregnancy… I’m trying not to get emotional here… FOR DAYS, people reached out, sent cards in the mail, messaged me, called me, posted on my facebook.. I had such a HUGE blanket of love over my family.. it was the most overwhelmingly beautiful expression of support we could have asked for being so far from our loved ones.
So, thank you, virtual village. For basking in our highs, and leaving your arms wide open for support during our trials. I am someone who enjoys unplugging when she needs a hard reset, but i also enjoy all that social media has brought to my life. It has aided in sustaining some of the strongest relationships I have. It has allowed for me to let those we love watch our kids grow. It has created a space for me to watch others grow professionally, within their family, and as individuals. This village I have around me... it is incredible and I can’t express enough gratitude.
It truly takes a village and I am better for it.
XO
These last two and a half years have been some of the hardest fought I’ve experienced so far in my life. In the last two years I experienced my first time being away from our military friends turned family. I experienced being away from a military base for the first time, being away from military normalcy, in addition to being away from my family. This move was hard. I was transplanted into a world that offered zero familiarity. I was able to maneuver it with my husband of course, but also, thankfully, the support and love from those via social media, email, text messages, and phone calls. You guys don’t know how much all of that love and support meant to me throughout our time here. You had no clue that reaching out to me was a life line i so desperately depended on. You had no idea that so many of your uplifting words and constant conversation kept me sane.
When I worried about my girls whenever they got colds- I was instantly flooded with prayers, good thoughts, and good people reaching out with homemade chicken noodle soup recipes. When Justin got a big promotion this past year, we were, again, flooded with so many good vibes and good people congratulating my husband on his achievements. When we lost one of our twins this last pregnancy… I’m trying not to get emotional here… FOR DAYS, people reached out, sent cards in the mail, messaged me, called me, posted on my facebook.. I had such a HUGE blanket of love over my family.. it was the most overwhelmingly beautiful expression of support we could have asked for being so far from our loved ones.
So, thank you, virtual village. For basking in our highs, and leaving your arms wide open for support during our trials. I am someone who enjoys unplugging when she needs a hard reset, but i also enjoy all that social media has brought to my life. It has aided in sustaining some of the strongest relationships I have. It has allowed for me to let those we love watch our kids grow. It has created a space for me to watch others grow professionally, within their family, and as individuals. This village I have around me... it is incredible and I can’t express enough gratitude.
It truly takes a village and I am better for it.
XO
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