I always knew the month of May was perfect, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be EVEN MORE perfect. On Mother's day, I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. The shock has still not worn off just yet. I bet your wondering how all this happened, right? Well, while Justin was still away at ALC I started taking progesterone pills to jump start a menstrual cycle. I originally planned on sharing yet another fertility journey with my readers, family, and friends, but at the last minute I decided not to. The last and only other time I shared this journey publicly, there was a lot of stress associated with it. A lot of disappointment, and a little heartache. I was a little sad that I wasn't able to share the good news everyone was waiting for, and I was even more sad when I got questions about when we planned on trying again, or if i was extremely bummed about not being pregnant. I decided that fertility matters would be something that Justin and I kept private from here on out. With Ava bug, we didn't really tell anyone. Now, with my second "private" cycle, we have conceived! I can't tell you the happiness my little family feels right now!

After I jump started a menstrual cycle, I started injecting myself... daily.. with hormones. I never imagined I'd have the courage to get that done alone, but I proved myself wrong. I did it every single day with the exception of one day once Justin returned home. Before I go any further, there are some serious thanks to be given. The day I had my baseline ultrasound (first day of menstrual) was a Friday, and I was due to start my medications on Saturday. Thanks to a dear friend of mine, she saved Justin and I a whole heap of cash and time, by personally delivering my hormone medications to my home. I can't tell you how awesome it was to see her again, AND have her play a vital role in this pregnancy! She was in the delivery room when I delivered Ava bug, and she even cut her umbilical cord! Thanks a million Ann! We love and appreciate you dearly.

The first ultrasound appointment I had for this cycle was the last ultrasound appointment I had for this cycle. My follicles were measuring at 22mm, and the reproductive endocrinologist likes them to grow to about 20mm. They decided I was to trigger that day, it was a Tuesday. April 28th to be exact. Justin and I had been "baby dancing" all weekend  (that's what we'll call it), since he came back home after 7 whole weeks, so I felt good about our odds this time around. Once I got the trigger shot, we baby danced into the end of the week, and we prayed like crazy. These past two weeks have honestly been the hardest. I have felt non stop cramping since the day I KNOW I ovulated, and I had good vibes right from the very start. The day before Mother's day, I took a first response pregnancy test. There was a faint, white stark line that popped up that had me feeling a little sad, but still hopeful. I was testing four days before I should have, so I know I still had time. On Mother's day afternoon, I decided to take another test. This brand was Clear Blue and immediately, I could see the (much darker) faint line for the positive test.

Monday afternoon (today), I went in for a blood draw just to make sure that the positive was a true positive. I got a call less than an hour later with a congratulations from the clinic, and information on how to pick up my prenatals and start my OB appointments. I immediately texted Justin and let him know, then I went to the store to pick up a fresh pack of pregnancy tests. I couldn't even wait until I got home, so I wheeled Ava bug in her stroller into the bathroom, so I could get some tangible results for myself. Sure enough, the two pink lines showed up immediately. I am still in complete awe and shock you guys. Another baby to call ours... there is no better feeling. I'm scared, nervous, and I'm sitting on cloud 9. We've been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever, and I can't wait to experience a pregnancy and delivery with my husband right by my side.

Here's a photo of the pregnancy test I took! Still can't believe Howland baby # 2 will be arriving in 2016!

♥- Leilani

Justin Jr.

This past week has honestly been, perfect. Rekindling with Justin has been wonderful, and we are finally dipping back into our old routine. I feel like I can finally breath again now that everything in my world is normal. I'm a little sad that our "stay-cation" will soon be over, but block leave is a little more than three weeks away, and I can't wait to explore the coast of Washington/Oregon with my sweet little family.

Here lately Justin and I have been talking about a "Justin Jr." when we discuss the people in our family. It's always a funny, but serious conversation, seeing as how we only have one child, and her name is definitely Ava. We've been looking at houses for sale in this area and we catch ourselves talking about Ava's room and little Justin Jr.'s room. It's actually pretty cute, and it has me all excited about trying to conceive baby number two. I don't know what is in the air, but everyone I know is either expecting a baby, or going through severe baby fever. So many signs have been popping up for us in the last few months, and as you all know the finals steps for trying are soon approaching.

I love this part of baby talk. It's seriously without a doubt one of my favorite topics of conversation. Justin will sit and watch water birth videos with me, doula videos, and discuss different laboring methods. He is so invested, and I am sincerely tickled by his interest. Last night we went over our fears about adding another addition "so soon" and we also discussed the aspects that have us more thane excited for another baby. Discussions like this allow me to reminisce on the talks we had before  Ava came into our lives. I sometimes cannot believe that was almost two years ago.

This next week we are making an effort to sift through all the baby stuff that is currently taking up space in this house. We are donating the things we no longer need, selling the items that are in great condition, and reorganizing all that we plan to keep. I'm really glad we kept all of the bigger items gender neutral (just in case). Somehow I feel like we won't be spending nearly as much with this next baby. That is definitely an added bonus that I'm perfectly okay with.

For all my readers that have toddlers and infants at home, what has been your biggest difficulties? What are some of the things you love about having two small ones at home? Comment below or shoot me an email.

Happy Friday all!

♥- Leilani

Update

I woke up this morning and there is zero blood present. There isn't any part of me that thinks I'm getting ready to start my menstrual. I know my body, and I'm starting to lean more towards a possible pregnancy. I had some minor cramping this morning, but it's not as bad as it was last night. I really don't know how to feel right now. If I take a test in a couple weeks, I'm either going to be extremely excited, or extremely let down. A definite plus side to all of this is my health. I've stayed on prenatals since my pregnancy with Ava, and I've maintained good health throughout Ava's infancy (still nursing).

The best part of this entire situation (whether there be a baby coming or not) is the "fun" aspect of the situation. I always wanted to conceive without the pressure of "trying" to have a baby. I think it's a lot less stressful and romantic when you can just freely express love with your mate. Granted, we purposely did fertility treatments with Ava, and I have zero complaints about that process, but I like the idea of a natural, not planned (but not unwanted), pregnancy.

There really isn't' much else to update about. If I am pregnant, I'm debating whether to make it super special for Justin. Possibly get it on video? I think his reaction would be priceless.

Happy Tuesday all!

♥- Leilani