For as long as I can remember, I have always been a person that appreciates organization and order. I have always thrived in environments that are well kept, cleaned, and have a steady routine. I distinctly remember during my first year of marriage a comment that one of Justin's battle buddies made to me. He looked at our home and he said, "Wow. It is so clean in here. It doesn't even look like anyone lives here." At the time, I was ecstatic about that. A comment like that was a compliment for me. It made me happy and stress free to have such a clean space to call home. When we found out we were pregnant with Ava - I was bound and determined to keep my old ways in tact. I planned out my days and how they would look before she arrived. How I would fit certain tasks into certain time blocks (oh how naive the first time mom can be). I remember hanging out with friends that already had children and wondering why their dish pile up or their laundry room fiascos didn't see to push them over the edge? Little did I know I would soon find out. 

Weeks before Ava arrived I made the decision to utilize a "first time parent liaison" through a service the Army provided. In one of our home visits she said something that forever changed my outlook. Christa said, "Just remember, the house comes second to all things baby. It doesn't matter if your dishes are sky high, you haven't vacuumed in days, as long as your baby is happy - you've had a successful day." Wow. Somehow that stuck in the back of my mind for always. When Ava arrived, that advice was sure to be true (though I didn't use it). I didn't have the time I once had, so I used the moments Ava was asleep to cram in all the work I had to do. It was exhausting, but I was content with the fact that my baby AND my home were taken care of.

As Ava grew, I developed a pretty solid routine. Ava was such a big helper and there wasn't anything I couldn't do with her awake or asleep. I had found a way to do it all - I felt like super mom. When we found out that we were pregnant with Olivia, I had very little doubt that my routine would be shaken forever.. again pretty naive on my part. I knew it would be an adjustment and that we would just have to find a new normal. Fast forward to today... Olivia is 11 months old and that new normal doesn't include ANY of the old normal. My dishes are piled, my floors aren't swept, my laundry is backed up, and I'm pretty sure my bathrooms could use a GOOD washing. I do the dishes in the pockets of time when both girls are eating and I can load a dishwasher in record time. At one point (and by that i mean currently) I was using Olivia's pack and play (that's she's literally never used) to hold ALL of my clean laundry. Ava calls it adventure digging... gotta love the creativity, right? 

The whole point of me dishing out all of this truth it to basically say, I'm done. I am done stressing about my house. I looked around this morning and almost had a mini panic attack. Cheerios were stuck to my foot, mashed potatoes from last night's dinner were crusted over on the island.. and I forgot to switch the laundry i put in yesterday afternoon... BUT, both of my girls are happy. It literally took almost 4 years for me to realize the advice I'd been given couldn't hold more truth. It took me almost 4 years to realize WHY my friends were ditching the dishes and just soaking up the time they had with their babies. DISHES will always be DISHES. Babies WON'T always be babies. The time you have with your kids is precious and it goes by so fast. I literally walked back into the living room, sat on the couch, and snuggled both of my girls. 

It isn't about a clean home - because a clean home isn't better. We live here and our home SHOWS that it is lived in. My kids aren't going to remember if the dishes were done on a schedule or not - but they will remember a present mom. Our new normal may stick for the rest of our lives, or it may change once the girls get older.. either way - I am accepting and owning this. And that whole "super mom" feeling? Well, super mom is just a term for those mamas out there that can make it through the day after all the juggling that is required with a home, a life, and babies. 

Here's to less stress, being present THAT much more, and making the most of your time. 

Happy Thursday all! 

♥- Leilani

YES!

Less than 72 hours after I wrote Olivia's 8 month update... something amazing happened. My child CUT her first tooth. It is on the bottom left of her lower gum. I literally took a sigh of relief. This past month has been a rough one for our girl (I mentioned that in the 8 month update) and it has been exhausting for her parents as well. As soon as I felt the first nub of a tooth, it's like she took a complete 360 yet again - but this time our sweet girl shifted back to her normal, smiley, happy self. I feel so terrible for our sweet girl. I think teething is going to kick her but a little more than we anticipated. Babies truly are so incredibly different, even siblings.. With Ava, she never showed signs that teething hurt her. Truthfully, she just got super drooly and would maybe have a little more spit up than normal? 

I love that we are able to experience the difference in personalities with our girls. it's humbling us, equipping us even more so, and really opening up our eyes to addressing new things with our children. To continue to the good news train, Olivia has also just started standing up and standing still in the middle of a room. I can't believe how much change has happened in our home in just 72 hours. This morning after Ava's swim class: We came home, let the girls play on the floor, and then it happened. Olivia held onto her infant car seat and let go... she just stood there. Unassisted, like a natural. She didn't take any steps though. Regardless, I'm blown away by my child's growth curve. 

The exhaustion this past month didn't even matter today. I just couldn't stop myself from smiling and loving on my baby girl. The life mantra I took on during Ava's infancy still proves to be true. WHEN YOU ARE A PARENT- you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being. While the falls, bumps, and mood swings aren't always fun - I will always remember how blessed we are to have been given our sweet girls. On that note, I am off! It's family day and I'm going to soak up all the time I can with the loves of my life.

Happy Saturday all! 

** UPDATE** Baby cut TWO teeth on the bottom! 

♥- Leilani