This morning was the most terrifying morning I have ever had in motherhood. I was rushing. This happened because I was rushing. We had a normal start to our day, like any other. We sat down for breakfast, the girls played with Justin for a little bit, and then I got the girls ready. Ava's speech class time changed from 11am to 945am per our request because earlier times fit our schedule better... but this morning, we were running late. I got Ava dressed later than normal. It took five minutes longer to brush through last night's bed hair, and this girl wanted to sing every song she knew while using the potty this morning. I rushed to throw on an old shirt and my watch.. I looked down at the time 9:09am... we needed to BOOK it!
I scooped Olivia in my arms after putting socks on Ava and we went out to the garage. I opened the garage door, I asked Ava to stay in our driveway, and I buckled my sweet Livy. I never rush when it comes to buckling them in the car. Why would I? I always make sure they are secure - and then after I buckled her, I quickly shoved my keys in the ignition to start my car up so the girls could watch their show. Afterwards, Ava asked me to take her picture (like we do every morning) and then we quickly went to her side of my car to buckler her inside.. except the door wouldn't open. None of the doors would open. I immediately went into panic mode. I tried opening my trunk, my engine latch.. I freaked out. I called 911 and for some reason I couldn't get through.. The tears starting rolling. I started shaking. Ava kept saying, "Mommy! Sissy's in the car." I called Justin and he immediately reminded me to calm down.
While on the phone with my husband I get an unknown Texas number calling me and I switched over without even saying anything to Justin. Sure enough it was the 911 dispatcher. I spilled out everything as fast as I could. I could feel my voice breaking as I'm telling her that the car is running and my baby is strapped in her seat. She's telling me to calm down and mentions that another parent called in this morning who had locked their two year old in the car... hearing that didn't make me feel any better.. in fact, it made me panic just a little more than i had before because I didn't know what the outcome of their situation was.
Seconds later the dispatcher tells me that the fire department would be on their way and that she would stay on the line with me. I told her I needed to call my husband, so she let me go - letting me know to call back if i needed to. I ended up calling the girls godmother, Leeana instead. For some reason I just needed to talk to someone that would calm me down. She stayed on the phone with me until the fire department arrived.. which was less than 5 minutes from the time I called 911.
Olivia was watching Ava's movie the entire time and I tried to stay away from her window because I knew if she saw me - she'd start bawling. 4 or 5 firemen came into the garage, so sweet and kind.. They reassured me these things happened and they quickly went to my driver door. One firefighter was talking to Ava while I filled out the liability form and then as soon as I signed my name - I saw Ava's door open. Olivia was still content. It wasn't until she actually saw all the men peeking in at her did she start crying. I was so grateful for that.
I quickly unbuckled my sweet girl and I just held her tight. Thank God we were still at home. Thank God she was only in the car for only a matter of minutes. Thank God I had my phone to call 911. Thank god. Nothing in the world is worth rushing when your kids are involved. Nothing. I'm really not even sure how all of the doors were locked... I just know I never want to experience this again. I genuinely felt like a terrible mother this morning. Who locks their child in the car? Who? Everything comes second to the well being of these girls and even if we are running late - appointments can be reschedule.. my kids are irreplaceable.
Also, firefighters are amazing human beings. Their job requires a level of benevolence that most of us will never have.. if it weren't for these gentleman this morning, I'd be beating myself up 10 times worse than I am right now.
♥- Leilani
For as long as I can remember, I have always been a person that appreciates organization and order. I have always thrived in environments that are well kept, cleaned, and have a steady routine. I distinctly remember during my first year of marriage a comment that one of Justin's battle buddies made to me. He looked at our home and he said, "Wow. It is so clean in here. It doesn't even look like anyone lives here." At the time, I was ecstatic about that. A comment like that was a compliment for me. It made me happy and stress free to have such a clean space to call home. When we found out we were pregnant with Ava - I was bound and determined to keep my old ways in tact. I planned out my days and how they would look before she arrived. How I would fit certain tasks into certain time blocks (oh how naive the first time mom can be). I remember hanging out with friends that already had children and wondering why their dish pile up or their laundry room fiascos didn't see to push them over the edge? Little did I know I would soon find out.
Weeks before Ava arrived I made the decision to utilize a "first time parent liaison" through a service the Army provided. In one of our home visits she said something that forever changed my outlook. Christa said, "Just remember, the house comes second to all things baby. It doesn't matter if your dishes are sky high, you haven't vacuumed in days, as long as your baby is happy - you've had a successful day." Wow. Somehow that stuck in the back of my mind for always. When Ava arrived, that advice was sure to be true (though I didn't use it). I didn't have the time I once had, so I used the moments Ava was asleep to cram in all the work I had to do. It was exhausting, but I was content with the fact that my baby AND my home were taken care of.
As Ava grew, I developed a pretty solid routine. Ava was such a big helper and there wasn't anything I couldn't do with her awake or asleep. I had found a way to do it all - I felt like super mom. When we found out that we were pregnant with Olivia, I had very little doubt that my routine would be shaken forever.. again pretty naive on my part. I knew it would be an adjustment and that we would just have to find a new normal. Fast forward to today... Olivia is 11 months old and that new normal doesn't include ANY of the old normal. My dishes are piled, my floors aren't swept, my laundry is backed up, and I'm pretty sure my bathrooms could use a GOOD washing. I do the dishes in the pockets of time when both girls are eating and I can load a dishwasher in record time. At one point (and by that i mean currently) I was using Olivia's pack and play (that's she's literally never used) to hold ALL of my clean laundry. Ava calls it adventure digging... gotta love the creativity, right?
The whole point of me dishing out all of this truth it to basically say, I'm done. I am done stressing about my house. I looked around this morning and almost had a mini panic attack. Cheerios were stuck to my foot, mashed potatoes from last night's dinner were crusted over on the island.. and I forgot to switch the laundry i put in yesterday afternoon... BUT, both of my girls are happy. It literally took almost 4 years for me to realize the advice I'd been given couldn't hold more truth. It took me almost 4 years to realize WHY my friends were ditching the dishes and just soaking up the time they had with their babies. DISHES will always be DISHES. Babies WON'T always be babies. The time you have with your kids is precious and it goes by so fast. I literally walked back into the living room, sat on the couch, and snuggled both of my girls.
It isn't about a clean home - because a clean home isn't better. We live here and our home SHOWS that it is lived in. My kids aren't going to remember if the dishes were done on a schedule or not - but they will remember a present mom. Our new normal may stick for the rest of our lives, or it may change once the girls get older.. either way - I am accepting and owning this. And that whole "super mom" feeling? Well, super mom is just a term for those mamas out there that can make it through the day after all the juggling that is required with a home, a life, and babies.
Here's to less stress, being present THAT much more, and making the most of your time.
Happy Thursday all!
♥- Leilani
Today we took the girls to see Santa at the mall and it was SUCH a great experience for us. The last time we took Ava to see Santa I believe she was 1.5 years old? Yes, she was and she definitely bawled. I felt so bad. Like really bad. We didn't take her last year because of her experience the year before (we were also in New York, I was 37 weeks pregnant, and we were on the go the entire trip) and I honestly thought visiting Santa would become a thing of the past... until Ava became a preschooler. Her mind, how smart she is, how receptive she is.. man! This year, she knows who Santa is. She knows his good pal Rudolph and Frosty the snowman of course. She knows that Santa brings her presents when she's a good girl - and that we leave him milk and cookies.
I mean, she understands the very traditions I did as a child. These full circle moments are almost too much for my heart to handle. I get so emotional each time I get to share something special with my girls. A couple weeks ago, something fantastic happened! Thanks to our technology driven world, Ava received a video chat from Santa - she went crazy. She couldn't believe that Santa had called her and she literally told everyone we know here in Texas. Since then, I've watched this warm Christmas spirit emerge more everyday from my sweet girl. Seriously. She sings all of "Santa's Songs" and she looks out for snow (not likely where we are), and she stays true to using only her rudolph decor and silverware.
I told Ava early this morning that we'd be going to see Santa after her swim class... I have never seen her jump out of bed so quickly. All through breakfast this morning all she could talk about was seeing Santa. I was so excited that she was excited! We waited in line for almost a solid 30 minutes until it was our turn. Ava was a bit more shy and timid than I was expecting but she definitely let him know what she wanted for Christmas. Elena's little sister Isabel and a barbie house. BOOM. The hard part was over. No tears on Ava's end- in fact, she even gave Santa a hug. Olivia on the other hand - she BAWLED as soon as Justin sat her down on Santa's lap. I know we both expected that to happen. We kept Olivia's visit very short and let Ava finish talking to Santa before it was time to go. Our oldest was kind of in awe of this white beareded man. Seeing the look on her face when we left made the entire trip worth it.
♥- Leilani
I don't think I've written one of these since Olivia was just a few weeks old. We were still living in Washington, so yes... it's been a long while. Anywho, with family planning on our mind, I wanted to go over the rewards, challenges, and overall system we have with two kiddos on our hands. I want to say it probably took Justin leaving us for eight weeks back in March for me to really realize: Mama, you got this. Being alone with your children without help is such a different experience for parents. For the longest time we knew we wanted to have more than just two kiddos, but for the first time in my life i realized, WOW. This is WORK. My goodness is it work. I'm not saying one child isn't work.. but two kiddos, that was WORK for me. Especially because my girls have polar opposite personalities. I have to give it up to my oldest, Ava. She is ALWAYS helpful, kind, and willing to assist in anyway she can. Bless her heart for being such a great big sister. To keep myself from steering off topic, I'm going to break this down into categories.
Rewards: Being able to see the different personalities your children have, oh my goodness this a big one for me. Ava is laid back, gentle, and easy going. Olivia is a spit fire (i've made this reference so many times), she's physical, the strongest baby I've ever met, and will have a complete meltdown if she doesn't get what she wants. I also love seeing their genetic differences as well. Ava is tan, dark brown hair with red higlights, big brown eyes, and takes after my sister and her daddy in so many ways. Olivia is fair skinned, green/blue eyes, and blondish/brown hair. I see some of my features in her, but my in-laws swear she's identical to Justin as a baby. I love watching my girls BOND. That's my favorite. The bonding, the playing, the giggles.. it's twice the fun with these two. I love that they have a forever friend in one another and that they will help eachother the rest of their lives with more than things than we know! The rewards are infinite. They really are.
Challenges: Twice the meltdowns. If one is crying, the other will chime in soon after. Constantly feeling like there needs to be TWO of Justin and I. We try our absolute hardest to give each girl equal attention, but sometimes we feel like we are coming up short. Ava loves to work in her PRE-K work books, but Olivia loves to rip and chew on them. Ava loves to color and Olivia loves to eat and chew on Ava's coloring crayons. Olivia has so many cute baby toys in her nursery.. Ava seems to think her toys AND her sissy's toys belong to her. Errands take a little longer.. especially if Olivia is wailing in the backseat. Most times we have two carts at the grocery store (if Justin is with us). One for the girls and one for the groceries. Nap time. If Olivia is asleep and Ava isn't - Olivia almost never gets a full nap. It's not that Ava is extremely loud.. but she is a bit louder coincidentally when her sister is asleep.
Our System: What works for us may not work for others, but this is a break down of our day with both girls. In the morning, Olivia sleeps until 8am - Justin wakes around 530am or 6am and by the time he returns from his work out, Ava is awake. Justin makes Ava breakfast and gets her changed into clothes for the day, while I get to snooze with the baby. By the time we wake up, Justin has about 45 minutes until he has to leave for work. I change Olivia, feed Olivia, and try to get in a load of dishes while both Justin and I are home (and pull out meat for dinner if it's required). Once Justin leaves the schedule changes depending on the day. If Ava has an activity (which she does 5 out of 7 days a week), we conduct our day around that. So for example if this was a Wednesday, Ava would have ballet. Ballet starts at 10am. We'd have 30 minutes of play time for the girls and then I'd take 30 minutes to get the house tidied before we left, get our things in the car, and head out for ballet. During ballet, Olivia and I socialize with the mommy friend I made and her girls. This is also the time Olivia gets sleepy. So, right after ballet - we mainly go home. I crank one of Olivia's songs that soothe her and most times she falls asleep in the car pending I nurse her before we leave.
If I have to grocery shop that day - i do it after Olivia's morning nap and after Ava's mid morning snack. If I have any additional errands, I like to run them before lunch because both girls nap around 145pm. After lunch time we are usually home for the day. I hate errands in the late afternoon. This is the hours I get to attempt to do laundry, clean, maybe crank out a homework assignement during nap time, social media, etc. 4pm is another crunch mode in this house. I usually feed Olivia early if she is eating something different than us for dinner that night - she goes in her high chair will I cook. Ava will play by herself doing something off in her room, play house, etc. Justin comes home within 90 minutes of dinner prep usually. We eat dinner as a family, socialize for an hour or so before bed, then we get ready for sleepy time.
I mainly co-shower with both girls these days. We want to transition Ava from baths to showers and this seems to be the best way for us. I bathe myself, I bathe Ava, and then I bathe Olivia. Justin will play with the girls while I shower and that's his one on one time with them in the evening. Night time routines involve daddy (which i love, thanks recuriting) so we get lotion, dressed, and bedtime stories. Ava will do lights out with daddy and i'll go nurse Olivia down in our room. Once both babies are out, daddy and I get our one on one time. This usually happens around 830pm.
I know that was definitely long - if you braved through that, I hope something in there either helps you or is a scheduling pointer that you yourself use!
♥- Leilani
It's happening. I am watching the bond between sisters unravel right before my eyes. Olivia just turned six month old less than two weeks ago and I am noticing the many changes that have occurred between big sister and little sister. Since the baby has become so much more mobile and curious about EVERYTHING, her and Ava are able to interact more. I've heard Ava exclaim how sissy can't play with big girl toys, she has to play with baby toys.. I've watched her snatch things out of her sister's hand (which required us to scold her a bit after doing so) and we've also watched her comfort her sister after snatching. Whenever Olivia bumps into something that results in tears, Ava is never far away. She hugs, kisses, and holds her sister as often as she can. Olivia is never still when she's enjoying floor time, so Ava always has so much fun playing with her sib. I just can't believe how quickly this relationship has grown. I mean, don't get me wrong - they are sisters and we knew this was going to happen eventually... I just feel like it came so quick for us.
Ava has to include Olivia in pretty much everything, unless it's one of her social activities or classes. She has tickle fights with her, she brings sissy ALLLL the baby toys that Olivia cannot grasp as quickly. I mean, watching these two.. it is just the most heart warming thing that you ever did see.
♥- Leilani
