It's insane to me how our goals, dreams, and thoughts can change as we grow. I guess it's not really that insane considering the fact that growth does equate change fairly often. But for me, I'm stunned. If you would have asked me even three years ago if I thought i'd see myself trying to start up my own business... in photography.. I would have laughed. I was a very practical person three years ago, and leaping into the unknown for anything outside of my family.. complete rarity. As I sit here tonight typing this very blog, I'm staring at the new work space "office" that Justin has created for me. Gosh, I love this man. He really has been such a great support system through my whirlwind decision to embark even further into photography. Whenever I ask if a notion I have is too crazy, he always replies with something that makes me feel like traveling to the moon is in my grasp. Having him in my corner reminds me that nothing I want is unachievable. It's really a beautiful message to send to our girls too. I hope my girls leap when they feel they want to, not just when it seems practical.

Anywho, about this space. We are turning the family desk/storage area of our home into an office space for this mama bear. I'd like to have everything pertaining to my business in one space with organization, and a sense of privacy when I need it. I'm glad this is an option. Justin came home with this huge dry erase board for me to brainstorm, jot down quick notes, etc. He installed it after dinner, and it looks so great! I plan on framing my business license on the wall close to my desk ( I just got the tangible copy in the mail today), and setting up the new business supplies I got too! I don't know why these things literally have me excited like Christmas morning, but I'm seriously so giddy about this entire process!

I absolutely love the marketing aspect that comes along with promoting your business. I've started from the bottom, and watching myself make even the tiniest stride causes me to just celebrate, BIG. Here lately I have been feeling the repercussions of having a business that is picking up clientele, and I've had to do some serious soul searching to see where my limitations lie. I don't want to lose out on time with my family on the only two days we have together in a week.. but I know sacrifices need to be made in order for my new business to thrive. Time management definitely rings a bell here, and I will definitely be taking much needed time away once Olivia makes her entrance into our world. I truly love this best about being my own boss. I say when I want to do something, I decide when I want to close up shop for a bit, and I decide when too much is too much.

This weekend I'll be putting even more personal touches to the office space, in between spending much needed time with my extended family and taking on a couple of sessions if the weather permits. My hope for anyone who reads this is that realize that the sky truly is the limit. We can achieve anything. And with how crazy life is, we should leap at each opportunity we can.

Happy Friday all!

♥- Leilani

Investing in Leilani

I have never in my life felt more determined, more inspired, or more motivated to allow myself to chase my dreams. You know when you're in your adolescence and people ask you what you want to be? You probably responded with something like a lawyer, the president, or a doctor? As most of us got older those types of aspirations either changed, or they felt out of reach. I'm told this is a pretty normal occurrence as we can never determine the bumps in the road that life is going to hit us with. The only issue I have with that notion is why most of us never get back to chasing those dreams we once had, if we still have a desire to achieve them. Why a lot of us become "comfortable" rather than pushing ourselves to our full capabilities? The past four years of my life have been all about redefining myself. Figuring out who I am as a mother, who I am as a friend, as a believer, and as a wife. In finding myself in all that brings me joy, I became a better version of me. I saw first hand what growth can really do for a person.

Now that I've really accepted change as a good thing in my life, I keep reminding myself that I am not done investing in Leilani. What that really means (for me) is, Alright mama, reach for the stars. I think everyone knows I'm currently wrapping up a bachelor's degree and then moving onto a master's degree... education is not the only type of success I see for myself. With blogging, motivational speaking, and sharing my stories with complete strangers all over the nation, I have found a passion for making myself available to others. With being that person that encourages them to pursue whatever it is that they deem worthy. I can't tell you how absolutely amazing it feels to get an email, or a stop in the grocery store because someone read something I wrote/saw me speak and they were moved. They were inspired. I like helping people come to these realizations. I wasn't always this way, so to find another passion that makes my heart completely overjoyed is an amazing feeling.

I'm not really sure what direction I can take this in, but I fully intend to explore this passion through and through. This is one of my favorite parts about life you guys. You can fall in love with so many things for yourself. Knowing that this will happen throughout my lifetime has me giddy and excited. In light of this good mood, I am booking a photo session just for me. Yes, photos of me, in my essence, in my skin, just me. Since picking up photography as a hobby, I cannot express how important documentation has become to me. I say this a lot, and will continue to express the importance of snapping photos. It's much more than a pretty picture guys! I always write about "fine tuning" in relationships, motherhood, and life.. I think sometimes I fail to remind myself that one of the most important parts of the equation is fine tuning yourself. It's not that I forget about me, but sometimes this mama gets consumed with all the other joys life has, and that is quite alright with me. It makes these times even more special for me. Prepare to watch me step out and shine with whatever goals that stem off of this new dream of mine!

Happy Monday all!

♥- Leilani

I love you, Ava.

I'm sitting here in astonishment this morning. I can't believe I was given such a perfect little girl. I'm watching Ava wave to my mom, and a surge of emotions takes over. This happens to me often, but today it was different. I've got a lot going on right now, nothing too major, but just a lot on my plate. It's moments like this where all that stuff just doesn't seem to matter. I could get lost in my daughter pretty much everyday. Her growth has hit an all time high as of late, and with all the rapid changes, I'm trying to soak in every single moment that I can. The most innocent part of it all, is that she doesn't understand all that she does for our family already. I get why some parents say that their lives didn't begin until their children entered their worlds. I get it because it has happened to Justin and I. I have never been this complete and whole in my entire life.

Last night when Justin called me, he said something that really warmed my heart. He says, "Since I've been in the field, I have a hard time sleeping. I toss and turn, I just don't sleep well. I know it's because whenever I'm not with you and Ava, nothing seems right. Even sleeping, I don't sleep right without you guys." Talk about water works. Since we co-sleep, I can totally understand what he means. It's weird not having him here as well. Granted, he gets cheated out of most of the bed, but he doesn't seem to mind. He also asked me if I thought Ava missed him, he asks me this all the time, but I now know he's definitely itching to come back home. I think being in the military, that's Justin's biggest fear. The fear of his daughter not being familiar with him anymore. I reassure him, because I am 99.9% positive that would never happen, but I sympathize, because if I was in his shoes, I'd think about things like that too.

I read a blog post yesterday about how being a mother is enough. why-being-mom-is-enough. Definitely give it a read. It made me cry (not hard to do). I have always thought that my career goals were just as important as being a mother. Like if I didn't pursue my career I'd be a failure, or like my life wouldn't be fulfilled. Truth is, my life is already fulfilled. Ava is more than enough for me. I know she'll be proud of me whether I manage a medical company, or if I just stay at home with her. Yes, I'd like to do more for my family, but if it's not in the cards, I'm not going to be distraught. Justin even suggested he be a stay at home father so I can start a career. We both would be fine either way. I like that about us. No matter what it is, we always make sure that it's the right move for Ava bug. Sometimes it's easy to get selfish about decisions like this, but I'm glad that's not us. Ava will always, and since day one has always been the center of our universe. Once she's older, I don't plan on being so vocal about that last part haha!

Well I'm off guys. I've got a few errands to run today, and a trip to party city is in my future. Happy Wednesday all! If you are a Washingtonian, soak up all this sun! It finally feels like winter is behind us.

♥- Leilani