I really like having all this extra time on my hands to sit down and blog. You have no idea how many drafts I'll start, but totally space on because I don't have the time to finish them. This past week has been filled with some crazy strong emotions.. these emotions are not my own, they are my husband's. I know how much Justin loves Ava, but I never imagined that him being in the field would cause him to get so upset. Since Ava was eight days old he's been home with us pretty much every single day (like normal people). Justin was the first person to see Ava bug roll over, he was the first person to feed her solid foods, and he was the first person to see her crawl. He's been present for all of her milestones, and we are so grateful for that. I think this time away is really hitting him hard. Although Ava hasn't hit any new milestones since he left, he isn't around her at all. He hasn't been able to kiss her goodnight, or give her vitamin d (that's daddy's job). He hasn't been able to play on the floor or tickle her little toes.

I find myself emailing him videos, sending about fifteen photos a day, and talking as frequently as his schedule will allow. Whenever Ava sees her daddy's face, she lights up. I know she probably doesn't understand that daddy is gone, but she definitely knows who her daddy is. Sometimes, I'll put the phone to her ear, and she can hear Justin telling her how much he loves her. That breaks my heart. Ava starts going crazy and saying "Da Da" She knows his voice and face, and it really is a joy to see the connection they have. The sacrifice of being married to someone in the service continues. It was one thing for me to sacrifice time with my husband, it's a completely different story when it's my child who has to sacrifice. I am starting to gain some clarity with Justin's decision to get out of the Army. Each time I think about it, I start to get even more comfortable with the idea of Justin doing anything else.

He gave me a scenario that he never wants to face. He said, "If I were to stay in the Army, I'd always be gone. I'd have to leave, and miss out on so much. It breaks my heart thinking about that phone call I'd have to have with Ava." Ava would say, "Daddy, why aren't you home? Who's going to get the monsters under my bed daddy?" I waited until we got off the phone to cry. I couldn't believe he said that. My husband is such a great father, and the fact that he's willing to change his entire career path for the sake of being with his family, there are no words. Stability is definitely important, but the Army isn't the only way to have that. It's so important for our family to spend as much time together as possible. I can only imagine how Justin is going to be when he comes home from the field. I bet he won't want to put her down. The sad thing is, after he returns from the field, he'll be leaving us for another month. The bonus this time? He'll be home for the weekends.

Moving forward, I hope two years from now, my husband is a civilian. I don't want any future Howland kiddos to miss out on time with their daddy. I don't want Justin to miss another pregnancy, I don't want Ava to have to lose anymore time with her dad. I know in the grand scheme of things, a lot of military kids probably lose out on even more time with their parents than Ava, but time lost is still time lost. I can't wait to have him home. I know he's out there "safe" and just training, but this feels too much like deployment for me. Alright, I'm done being a sad sap! I turn 23 tomorrow, and I plan on living it up.. Well one glass of wine, and a slice of red velvet cake would be my definition of that.

I can't wait until Daddy is home to read Ava her daily story.

Happy Thursday all! 

If you're a Washingtonian, PLEASE drive safe and stay dry.

♥- Leilani

Bug is nine months old

I seriously repeated the title of this blog out loud, several times. I do this every month, and each month that Ava gets older, feels like it came quicker than the last. So many other parents have expressed to Justin and I how quickly this goes. They express how these times, right now, are the best times of our lives with our little girl. This past month Ava has been advancing like crazy. She can stand (for a few seconds) by herself without holding onto anything, she can wave (a backwards wave), and she can feed herself finger foods. Her favorite word is "Da Da" and she loves when her daddy sings "The lion sleeps tonight" from the Lion King. Ava understands the word no, and playing tea party with daddy seems to be her favorite past time. It's been a couple months now that we find that Bug can entertain herself really well. She received a lot of toys for Christmas, and she plays with all of them. As always, I have compiled a list of items that we now use with our baby girl.

The inflatable safety duck from munchkin has become a regular thing in our household. I'm not quite ready for Ava to be in the bathtub with zero support, so this is definitely a fun way to ensure her safety. There is an indicator for when the water temperature is too hot, and I love how easy the assembly was. The age on this safety duck is six months to twenty four months, I'm hoping that once Ava reaches a year, we can put this away for the next Howl baby.

We have also introduced finger foods to Miss Ava. I was a little uneasy about opting not to make Ava's snack foods, but after seeing how much she loves these finger foods, I feel great about it. The puffs and other finger foods come in so many different flavors and styles. It's been fun watching Ava throw, smash, and eat her little snacks. Speaking of snacks, because the containers they come in are so huge and so not diaper bag friendly, I started using the planet wise snack bags. I purchased a gray chevron one while we were still in Georgia, and I absolutely love it. Super easy for Ava to take her own snack out and feed them to herself.

These bags are super easy to wash, and definitely baby friendly. I've watched Ava put her snack bags in her mouth, and I have zero worries that something is going to snag her gums, or irritate her. I like the fact that there isn't any plastic and that you can wash these when need be.
We are all about reusable in this family, so these definitely work great.

The last (and most recent) thing we have introduced to our sweet love bug is unflavored pedialyte. Ava got her first stomach bug late last night, and we actually took her into the emergency room. One of our main concerns off the bat was possible dehydration. Although dehydration actually wasn't the case for her, bug still wasn't able to hold down breast milk. As a safety precaution we gave Ava some clear liquids in hopes that she'd be able to keep it down. Thankfully, she was and she is doing much better now. I was completely against using products like this with our girl, but when push comes to shove, I'd do anything to make sure she's well taken care of.

Aside from the stomach bug, Ava has been thriving so very much. She remains healthy, happy, and so very comical. Justin taught her how to do this cute little laugh that I plan on sharing with all of my readers. I've taken about a million videos of those two mimicking each other, I just need to upload it. Speaking of upload, I am doing a "what's in my diaper bag" for a nine month old cloth diapered baby, per the request of a few other mama's on facebook. It's long overdue, so look out for that post this week!

Alright all, I'm off! Enjoy your Monday and if you are a Washingtonian, stay dry!

♥- Leilani

Little moments

A week from Saturday, Ava will be three months old. The phrase I've heard most, since becoming a mother would have to be, "Time goes by so fast" Very cliche, but very true! Each day has been a new opportunity for me to savor the sweet moments I have with my sprout. Each day she changes or develops a bit more. Even though the Army demands a lot of Justin's time, we are a fortunate family. Instead of working, I am able to stay home with Ava. I couldn't see myself spending my days any other way. Do I plan on pursuing a healthcare career? Most definitely! Is family more important for us right now? Indeed! Justin went back to work (from block leave) and I can tell being away is taking a toll already. He came home last night and immediately (after dinner) fed Ava and allowed her to just snooze off to sleep right on his chest. We absolutely love how content she is on mom and dad. It doesn't matter where we are, being against our skin, our chests, is always where she prefers to be. I assumed this would change as she got older, but nope! I'd say 95 percent of the time, Ava is always in my arms or Justin's. We get (for lack of a better word) crap about this ALL the time. "You are spoiling her" and I say, "SO WHAT" She's not going to be this small ever again. Or need us this much, soon before we know it. If it's one thing we've learned since becoming parents, it would have to be: TAKE YOUR TIME. There is no need to rush. Kids grow up inevitably, so enjoy them while they are small.. As I'm writing this Ava just spit up all over my chest, Ahh yes, the little moments <3