When you are pregnant with your first child, everything is so new and exciting. You get to pick out brand new baby items you'd never seen or maybe heard of before, you get to create a baby registry, and you get to coo over all the tiny human sized clothing. While all of those things still apply for me during my pregnancy with Bean, I have noticed a shift in myself. When I was pregnant with Ava, I wanted to have "the best" of everything. The best in my eyes, was always the most expensive and highly rated (almost always). Now, with a two year old, I know the more expensive something is doesn't necessarily mean it's better. Some of the most expensive things we bought for Ava ended up being some of the baby items I disliked. There are probably more than a dozen baby items that cost less than half the price of it's "higher end" rival that I fell in love with. Keeping that in mind, I am determined to be cost efficient with our second child.

Since we are having baby girl # 2, there are a million things we don't need to purchase. All of Ava's newborn/3month/most of 6 month clothing is like new. We have so many sleepers, so many cute outfit sets, I mean it's crazy how much clothing Ava had at that age. Clothes are a huge expense, and I am so thankful to NOT be purchasing hundreds of dollars worth. We also have a fisher price cradle and swing, a mini bassinet/pack and play set, all nursery furniture, etc... It's safe to say bean has been set since the day we found out she was a girl. There are a few items we need to purchase, but all that is needed is coming at an extremely low cost to us compared to purchasing everything all over again.

Yesterday I purchased a full size pack and play for baby girl, and I'm feeling extremely justified in that baby buy. We didn't have an upstairs/downstairs home when Ava was a newborn, and I know that since we spend most of our time downstairs as a family, we needed a nursery like set up for baby girl right there. I am so giddy about it's arrival and watching Justin and Ava put it together. After finally taking the leap on baby buy's I also decided to purchase a diaper bag as well. Now, for those of you who know me personally, you know I have invested almost $200 on a diaper bag in the past. While I'm never excited about spending that much money on a diaper bag, the bags we did purchase have held up nicely and we have used them since Ava was born. This time around, I don't plan on spending that much, like at all.

I really want to shy away from "buying the label" and buying expensive items that aren't necessary. Originally, I planned on purchasing a ju-ju-be bag that would double for Ava and her sister, for almost $180. I cringe when I think about my diaper bag costing more than a full size pack and play. Determined to make the change right now, I sought out for a functional diaper bag that cost less than the ju-ju-be. I stayed up for almost four hours past my normal bedtime doing my research (yes, definitely feeling that lack of sleep today). I came across a diaper bag that was designed by a fellow mom who resides in the UK. The brand is called Pink Lining, and their bags are all the rave. I came across their line of bags called, blooming gorgeous, and I instantly fell in love. The bag had all the features I wanted in a diaper bag, but at a much lower cost to me.

The retail price of the bag was $125, BUT Pink Lining just had a huge sale, so the bag I wanted was marked down to $62.50 for the time being. I ended up subscribing to their mailing list, so I received an additional 10% off of my order. That pretty much took care of the almost $8 dollar shipping fee. I already had funds sitting in my paypal account from an order I returned a couple weeks ago, so the grand total that came out of my bank account for this originally $125 bag was less than 32 dollars! Yes, that's right, almost five times cheaper than the ju-ju-be! While this may seem like common sense to some (to save more), it was actually a pretty big moment for me. Just because you can spend, doesn't mean you should. Now that money we will be saving can go towards something else, someone else, etc. Below is the diaper bag that will be here next week, and a video of a more in depth peek at the blooming gorgeous diaper bag.

Happy Friday all!

♥- Leilani

Pregnancy after loss

I don't think I've spent a whole lot of time talking about the baby Justin and I lost in March 2011, and that's simply because the road to healing/recovery was one that we decided to keep private. If it's something you've never experienced (I pray none of my readers ever have to), it can be traumatic and life altering to say the least. After losing a baby, and becoming pregnant with Ava almost 1.5 years later... I was worried about everything. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy as much as I should have (in the beginning), because I was always scared. I was scared of losing my baby, I was scared that my body couldn't keep a baby safe, and every cramp or tinge of pain... I immediately thought the worst. I can't tell you how many trips I made to the E.R. because I needed reassurance that Ava was okay. That's also the reason I purchased a fetal doppler. I wanted to be able to hear her heart beating, and know that all was well inside my womb.

Things got better once I hit 20 weeks in my pregnancy. I finally started purchasing big baby items, I embraced my growing belly, and I talked to Ava without feeling like I was going to lose her. Each week, my feelings of fear would diminish a bit more, and once we hit 24 weeks, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm as that meant viability. I loved every moment of my pregnancy with Ava, and looking back there isn't one thing I would have changed... other than the amount of time I spent worrying. Let's fast forward two years and nine months and here I am pregnant with baby # 2. I will be 13 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I can tell (already) that this pregnancy is so much different than my pregnancy with Ava.

I'm not even referring to the symptoms, but more my emotions. While I did announce my pregnancy sooner with Ava, I have been less fearful early on this time around. I smile, I laugh, I talk about this baby all the time. I have gotten more ultrasounds than most, for my own reassurance, but that's been okay with me. I'm taking baby steps in the right direction and that's all I wanted. I wake up and instead of worrying about every tinge of pain or cramp, I roll with it. I talk to my baby and love on my belly SO much. This energy has in turn rubbed off on my daughter, because Ava loves on my belly more than anyone in this house.

I've been feeling so good about this pregnancy early on, that yesterday I purchased my first baby item. I bought hooded terry cloth (gender neutral colored) towels. Granted, the purchase wasn't very big, but it made me smile that I even thought to grab something for our little miracle bean. I'm still early enough to where strangers can't tell we're expecting, but I have found myself talking to random strangers about my pregnancy (something I never did with my pregnancy with Ava). I guess the point of this blog was to show how much I've grown after my loss. I never thought I'd be able to successfully carry a child after my loss, and here I am now.. with baby # 2. I feel more confident in my body, my faith, and my mindset. Loss is something that never goes away, but all you can do is grow from it. you realize how precious pregnancy is, and how amazing it is to hold the baby you've carried in your arms.

The love I have for my kids comes from somewhere deep and pure. I will never take them for granted, I will never take pregnancy for granted. So many good things have happened since our loss, and rather than allowing the thought of how we got here to cripple me today, I have healed. So while those towels I bought seems so trivial and even silly, it was an indication that this mama is healed. This mama is moving forward and enjoying this pregnancy.

Big sister giving baby some morning lovin'

Happy Monday all!

♥- Leilani

30 weeks 3 days

It's weird to think that Ava has a sleep schedule even though she's not outside of the womb yet. I've been on the move a lot lately, so I don't usually notice a lot of movement until I'm stationary. My absolute favorite movement would be my 5 a.m. movement. I wake up due to my daughter kicking away. I love it. I just smile and cradle my belly. I tell her good morning and sometimes I even sing to her. This morning Justin skyped me. I took him for an updated tour of our daughter's nursery and showed him some of my recent buys. So I thought I'd share them with my readers.

 BABY BUY UPDATES

                                                       

                               

Signature "C" Coach diaper bag. I've gotten a lot of interesting comments about this purchase. Yes, it is Coach. Yes I do love it. Was it a necessity to buy? Yes ! Ava is going to need a diaper bag. Was the brand a necessity? Obviously not. I bought this from the Coach outlet. Anyone who shops at Coach knows the offers at these outlets are incredible. I am very content with the price, quality, the fact that her diaper bag has a million pockets, AND the changing pad that was included. Not to mention if any manufacturing errors pop up over the next decade Coach will replace or fix them at no cost to me.                             

snappi's for Ava's cloth diapers 

Infantino baby carrier. I used reviews and feedback from other mommies to determine this buy. Not exactly sure how well it will work for Ava and I. But worst case scenario, I can return it. Very inexpensive buy.

Baby monitor. I have a few friends that have purchased the v tech two parent unit monitors. I've been able to see first hand how efficient they are. I'm confident It'll be a good buy for us. 

I'm really at the tail end of baby purchases. With the exception of her dresser and glider I only have crib essentials to purchase. Justin told me he wanted to assemble Ava's crib (so sweet) With him being gone and Ava co-sleeping with her bassinet, crib stuff just isn't a necessity to have in her first couple weeks of life.

These last couple weeks have been my favorite so far in my pregnancy. I adore her movement, her growth, and the continuous bond we share.