I've been wanting to write a post like this for a long while, but I felt that it was pretty redundant, so I refrained. Today, I can not hold my lid on anymore. For those of you who are longtime "Simply Howland" readers, you know that we have cloth diapered from the day Ava bug was born (with the exception of using the biodegradable diapers during travel time, and her first 11 days of life). You know that I fully support natural parenting methods and attachment parenting methods. I hope all of my readers also know that by sharing my parenting tidbits and thoughts, that my intention is not to "shove" it down your throat, or make you feel bad for utilizing different methods that work for your family.

That being said, all is not right in mommy world. In fact, all is pretty nuts! I haven't engaged in anything in particular, but rather observed. I can't believe what I'm seeing. My heart actually hurts guys! Here we have a huge world of women that could be encouraging one another and supporting one another, but instead we decide to tear one another down. We decide to compare our children and treat parenthood like some sort of competition. Instead of utilizing one another for helpful information, we choose to put others down for their parenting choices. It really is awful, and I've had enough.

I've decided to come out and say something for all of those parents that choose to use disposables. I chose to focus in on this topic because cloth diapers are at the top of my frustration list. Here goes nothing! I hope by the time you are done reading this, you feel even more validated in your parenting decisions! As I mentioned before, We have used cloth diapers with Ava since the day she was born. I researched cloth (ALOT), I picked out each one after proper research, and I fully took on the extra dooty (haha, a little humor), that came with cloth diapers. The first six months were an absolute breeze. no rashes, the laundry upkeep was easy, and best of all? The waste was able to go right in the washer. Fast forward six-twelve months... The waste of a baby on solids is without a doubt the most gruesome sight I have ever seen. The colors.. the texture.. the colors! Oh my lanta. Cloth diapering got hard. I actually had to wash the waste off. And although my daughter is angelic and beautiful in every way, her waste is NOT.

We had to deal with blowouts, leaks, and sometimes damaged diapers. Not to mention that while you have five other loads of laundry to wash, you have to make sure that cloth is done every other day (our routine). Let's fast forward twelve-seveteen months. I have a toddler that drinks so much more, eats so much more, and a toddler that knows how to take dirty diapers out of the pail. We had to find the proper absorbency adjustment for Ava, I've had to find the proper stripping contents for the diapers, and I've learned to fix her diaper snaps. I've had to adjust to getting rid of toddler waste (even more disgusting than infant waste), and bac-out has become my best friend. All of these frustrations stem off of the fact that I wanted to cloth diaper.

With disposables, there is none of this. With disposables, you don' have to stay up late/wake up early to do the same load of laundry for over two hours. You don't have to worry about chunks of waste splashing on you as you scrap it into the toilet. You also don't have to worry about keeping your child's diapers in "good condition" because it's a one and done type of job. I myself have been dreaming about the day we no longer cloth diaper. Not because I don't love them, but because they have become a huge pain for me at times. So before you allow someone to make you feel bad about your choices OR if you are that person that likes to be a "cloth snob" remember that while others are up doing loads of smelly diaper laundry, some disposable using mama is in her warm bed.. asleep! There are pros and cons to each method, but I definitely see the ease and comfort of using a disposable diaper.

Happy Thursday all! 

♥- Leilani

What type of parent are you?

First off, hello April! I can't believe Spring is finally among us. I also can't believe that in forty-six short days, Justin and I will be parents of a one year old. I don't know how that snuck up on us so quickly, but you better believe we are enjoying every single moment with our Ava bug. I have been going crazy with making videos each day, and documenting Ava each time she does something new. I really appreciate that technology today allows for us to do this. By the time my little bug starts her own family (which I'm in NO rush for), she will have all the memories and moments that we had with her. She will always have a piece of the way her parent's raised her. More than anything, I hope that when she looks back at the way we did things, she is proud, and she understands. 

That being said, I really want to express something that bugs me. When you become a parent, you get thrown into this "parenting wars" world. I'm not saying everyone is in it, but if you are apart of any type of social media, you know what I'm talking about. My biggest issue is when "veteran parents" feel the need to make us newbies feel bad for being confident. I can't say all parents do this, but it happens more than it should. I don't think I know all there is about parenting, but I also think i'm doing a fantastic job with my almost eleven month old. What's wrong with taking pride in that? I believe that there isn't a "right" way to parent because different things work best for different families. We shouldn't make other people feel bad for being confident, or feeling confident enough to publicly share their parenting beliefs. I wish the "parenting wars" would just come to an end. If we channeled more of that energy into our children, rather than each other, imagine what great things could come from that. 

Looking back on the past ten months, there isn't one thing  regret. I dove into what type of parent I wanted to be when I was pregnant, and I have stuck with almost every aspect of attachment parenting that I researched. It was important for me to go into motherhood with as much knowledge as I could. The information wasn't for me, it was for Ava. With everything we went through to have her, I wanted to offer her the best mother she could have. Every decision Justin and I make is rooted off of what's best for our daughter. Do I think we'll make mistakes down the road? Yes. Mistakes are apart of any relationship process. If I wanted advice about parenting, would I ask? Of course. The point of this was to basically say, I'm not a parent that feels she knows it all, but I am a parent that is confident. I am a parent that is proud of the choices she is making. I am proud because it has offered us a happy, snuggly, secure, and thriving child. And that's what works for our family. Everyone should take pride in the parent they are. There is more work that goes into it, then most people know. 

Happy Tuesday all! If you know a parent that's doing a stand up job with their kiddos, give em' a compliment today! Embrace love people!

♥- Leilani