Dear Ava, today you are one year old, and I can hardly believe my eyes when I look at you.

On the floor

I'm pretty sure I will be blogging everyday up until the day Ava turns one year old. A year from now, I really want to look back and read how I felt the days before her birthday. Today has been a rainy one (no surprise there), and I have started to get a bit more creative with our inside fun. Aside from our daily tea parties, and reading time, I decided today felt more like a dress up day. I haven't played dress up with Ava bug, partially because she's still too young to grasp the concept, and secondly because I didn't think she'd enjoy it at this age. Boy was I ever wrong. I grabbed a dozen dresses from my closet and a handful from hers, and we went to town. I still can't believe I own all of my dresses from high school functions. I even have my chamber choir dresses as well. They are long and (kind of gloomy), but Ava had a lot of fun with them. Each time I tried on a dress, she clapped for me. She gave me this goofy little smile, and cute little laugh. Getting her dressed was definitely more of a challenge, but she played with the frills of her bright pink dresses, and lavender tutus. We looked like such girly girls, and I absolutely loved it. I hope in the years to come Ava enjoys our dress up days like today.

I plan on getting a trunk (possible garage sale hunting) and purchasing old vintage clothes for us. I really want to feed her imagination and encourage her to explore her ideas. I always loved playing dress up as a child, so this will be something special we can do together. Days like today remind me of why it's so important to get down on the floor with your kids. We get so caught up with technology, stress, etc. and that takes away from the fun you could be having with your little one. I made a promise to myself that I would never take Ava's time for granted. This is also why I'm knocking this post out while my little one is having an afternoon slumber. She brings so much joy to my life, and I can't wait for new adventures with her.

Happy Thursday all!

♥- Leilani

What type of parent are you?

First off, hello April! I can't believe Spring is finally among us. I also can't believe that in forty-six short days, Justin and I will be parents of a one year old. I don't know how that snuck up on us so quickly, but you better believe we are enjoying every single moment with our Ava bug. I have been going crazy with making videos each day, and documenting Ava each time she does something new. I really appreciate that technology today allows for us to do this. By the time my little bug starts her own family (which I'm in NO rush for), she will have all the memories and moments that we had with her. She will always have a piece of the way her parent's raised her. More than anything, I hope that when she looks back at the way we did things, she is proud, and she understands. 

That being said, I really want to express something that bugs me. When you become a parent, you get thrown into this "parenting wars" world. I'm not saying everyone is in it, but if you are apart of any type of social media, you know what I'm talking about. My biggest issue is when "veteran parents" feel the need to make us newbies feel bad for being confident. I can't say all parents do this, but it happens more than it should. I don't think I know all there is about parenting, but I also think i'm doing a fantastic job with my almost eleven month old. What's wrong with taking pride in that? I believe that there isn't a "right" way to parent because different things work best for different families. We shouldn't make other people feel bad for being confident, or feeling confident enough to publicly share their parenting beliefs. I wish the "parenting wars" would just come to an end. If we channeled more of that energy into our children, rather than each other, imagine what great things could come from that. 

Looking back on the past ten months, there isn't one thing  regret. I dove into what type of parent I wanted to be when I was pregnant, and I have stuck with almost every aspect of attachment parenting that I researched. It was important for me to go into motherhood with as much knowledge as I could. The information wasn't for me, it was for Ava. With everything we went through to have her, I wanted to offer her the best mother she could have. Every decision Justin and I make is rooted off of what's best for our daughter. Do I think we'll make mistakes down the road? Yes. Mistakes are apart of any relationship process. If I wanted advice about parenting, would I ask? Of course. The point of this was to basically say, I'm not a parent that feels she knows it all, but I am a parent that is confident. I am a parent that is proud of the choices she is making. I am proud because it has offered us a happy, snuggly, secure, and thriving child. And that's what works for our family. Everyone should take pride in the parent they are. There is more work that goes into it, then most people know. 

Happy Tuesday all! If you know a parent that's doing a stand up job with their kiddos, give em' a compliment today! Embrace love people!

♥- Leilani

10 months

Yes, the double digit months are among us. I can hardly believe that I am a mama to a ten month old. So many things have changed this past month, so let's get to it! Ava bug's eating habits have changed so tremendously. She eats so much now, she's drinking more fluids, (breast milk is still the main source), and she's going to be taking her first few steps any day now. In her nine month post, I remember saying how she was barely standing. Now she's standing for a good amount of time, to where she looks as if she wants to take a step. Daddy was in the field for two weeks, and came home to a very vibrant, and changing child. Ava has been swaying back and forth whenever she hears music and Bug's wave has become more sassy. Ava also shakes her head "no" every single time we say it. Here lately, Ava has been interacting with her pooch a lot more. Putting her hands out for him to give her kisses, giving him some of her snack foods, and pulling on his whiskers like crazy. She sits in restaurant highchairs (she has been since about eight months old), and she drinks from a straw. She has also been adding some very distinct teeth marks to her crib. The ironic part? She doesn't even sleep in it. She will play in there when I'm doing cloth laundry, or vacuuming, but that's about it. Justin has to lower it this weekend, because we saw Ava trying to use one of her toys as a step stool! As you can see, we have had so many changes for our family this past month. As usual, I wanted to list some of the new things we are using in our home with our sweet bug:

I'm not too thrilled about this walker, but it's in our home. Justin picked it up from babies r us, and insisted that Ava needed it. I think we've used it about a handful of times, but I still prefer to have Ava grow on the floor. She's developed right on track this far, and I don't feel as if we need these types of toys. I will say that Ava loves pushing down on the palace. When you push it in, it makes all kinds of princess songs play. Aside from that, this thing is bulky, and takes up too much space downstairs.

I should have posted this weeks ago, but I don't think I have. I'm a complete germ freak, and these things are a must! I was actually out to lunch with my sister, when another couple came over and thanked me. They thanked me for using a highchair cover, because they'd worked in the food industry and said they know how "often" these things get cleaned. Balboa baby is truly an amazing line, and I'm so glad we found this seat cover. The material is great, and there isn't any wear from the washing machine. I wish I would have found this before I put Ava in a restaurant highchair, overall I'm just glad we have it now.

Something else we use pretty frequently, are books. Ava actually seems entertained by all the pages, and by daddy reading. That's a part of their bonding time, and I love it. Some of the other books Ava enjoys are: Baby beluga,Guess how much I love you, and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. I love that we are starting this habit at such a young age. I still plan on making Bug a book shelf in her room, either later down the road, or at the next home we find ourselves in.

The last new introduction would be these munchkin trainer cups.We haven't really been pushing sippy cups on Ava, but we will definitely not be using a bottle ever again. It's been seven months since Ava really had a bottle, and I think it's frustrating for her when we've tried to use it. These sippy cups have soft tops, and they work great for Bug. She can get water and her diluted juice just fine out of here. The best part? We don't have to deal with weaning her from a bottle. I've heard that can be treacherous.

We are definitely closer to having a toddler on our hands, and I just can't believe it. This last month has presented so much personality and changes for our girl, I'm just in utter disbelief. I don't think there's  a day that goes by that I don't take a video or a photo of Ava. Sometimes I don't share them, just because we've used a lot for her scrapbook, and baby book. I can't believe it guys, the next time I'll be posting an age update, I'll have an 11 month old. That is so crazy to me! On a happy note, Happy 10 months my beautiful Love bug! Daddy and I are tremendously blessed to have such a perfect gem!

P.S. Happy Saint Patty's day! The Howland's won't be being pinched today!

♥- Leilani

NO time limit

This morning a couple changes have been made in the Howland home. Justin and I have decided to shy away from using the crib until Ava is one year old. A lot of people must be reading this and thinking, "What is wrong with you!" but this is what is going to work best for our family. Ava has been co-slept since she was five months old, and while it was suppose to be a temporary switch, it has definitely become something permanent. It kind of hit me last night when I put Ava bug down for bed. It's seldom that Ava cries at bedtime, but I heard her kind of sniffing in her sleep. All I had to do was cuddle her next to me, and she just instantly stopped. All my baby really longs for is security. I can give that to her. If that means sacrificing bed space, then I will. A lot of people have asked about "intimacy" with my husband. What happens to that? Justin and I have no issues in that department. When you have kids your entire intimacy dynamic has to be shifted. You can't just do whatever you'd like, whenever. That being said, we have found ways that work for us. It has actually forced us to be more creative, and I absolutely love this aspect of things.

Another change I decided to make regards to nursing. I am not going to stop nursing when Ava is a year. I do plan on giving her whole milk, and other juices, but I will not stop nursing. This has been such a huge ordeal for me. I don't know why it's become so huge, but it is. Nursing is so much more than nutrition. It's so much more than just bonding. I don't expect to be nursing my three year old (who knows, maybe) but I do know that you can't put a time limit on nursing. It's my daughter's comfort and I will not take that away from her. I can't tell you the boost of confidence and " I am woman" demeanor I have received because of nursing. It's an amazing experience and I'm so glad I've been able to nurse this long. I got an email not too long ago asking about Ava biting me. I have had one incident where Ava bit me, but now we are golden. I read a book (can't think of the title at the moment, but if you want to know, email me and I'll look it up) and it went through the steps of correcting "the bite" you sometimes get when babies get teeth. It was a super easy process and I encourage mama's to not allow "the bite" to sway your decision for nursing longer.

I'm really happy and content with the decisions I have made. Each parent has their own way of doing things, and this way is the way that works best for my family.

This picture was taken during Ava's first 48 hours of life. 

Happy Friday all!

   ♥- Leilani

Late night laugh

Finally knocked out the last of this week's homework, and I am feeling good! I've got my madre and my sister staying with me for the next few days, and things have been rather hectic in the Howland house. I don't think Miss Ava knew what to do with all of the lady hands that were trying to play with and tickle her today. I will say it's been nice to have another (make that two) extra set of hands helping me with Bug. Having Justin away really has presented it's challenges. There isn't anything I can't do with Ava, more like it takes more time to get things done with Miss Ava. Anyhow, I'm in the middle of trying to make a power point presentation for this convention Justin and I are speaking at in a couple of weeks. I decided to head on Tumblr for some motivational words, and I come across this:

It just kind of cracked me up, because I am sure there are a lot of women like this. Ironically, when I purchased cloth, Justin was in the "know" about how much they were. He's always looking at the bigger picture. His favorite life mantra? You have to spend money in order to make money. I see the logic in that. I'm getting really excited for my lifestyle session I have scheduled. I'm not sure if I talked about that at all, but there is an amazing photographer in my area, that takes such beautifully breathtaking photos. I'm getting shots of Ava nursing, baby wearing (with mom and dad), potentially some cute cloth booty photos, the works. It's so, so important to document these events when our kids are small. I want to be able to treasure this moments for the rest of my life. I'm almost positive that my mommy is buying me my first ring sling baby carrier. I'm pretty stoked because I've never had one. I won't lie, I feel like I'm cheating on my moby wrap just a little bit. Well anywho, I'm off! It's late, the baby is asleep, and I'm in the mood for girl scout cookies! Happy Sunday all!

♥- Leilani

Crunchy Mama

I've heard this term thrown around quite a bit since I had Ava bug. I think it's more entertaining than anything, but I have found that this definition is fitting for my family, and our parenting styles. The term crunchy really just describes a parent who fosters a strong, positive bond with their children through natural living. What could be better than that? I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing I am a part of a parenting generation, where people are going back to the basics. What worked for us all those years ago, still work for us today. Parenting is getting thrown into our modern habits, and I honestly resent it a little bit. In an effort to make the time slow down, or at least capture the moments I have with my lover bug, I have booked a natural "lifestyle" photo session for Justin, Bug, and I. I want black and white (maybe color) photos of our baby wearing little Ava days. I want photos of the sun shining down on my little Princess, while I nurse her in the morning. I want photos that show how attached parenting methods have produced this little vibrant being I call my daughter. A lot of pressure on a photo, right? Hopefully, the photos turn out somewhat how I'm imaging them to be. We aren't doing these until we get settled in Washington, but I'm excited for them already.

Speaking of photos, I am already on the hunt for Ava's birthday decor. Seems like there is so much to do when planning a little's first Birthday. I know Ava's will be a bit more intense, because we will be near family and friends. I am ready for this challenge! I have already located the venue, and found the company to make the cake, smash cake, and cake pops. I settled on a theme this morning too. Don't ask me why Im making all these decisions four months in advance, I just cannot contain myself. My little girl is going to be one year old this year.

We took bug into pediatrics today. With the flu running rampid in central Texas we just wanted to make sure she was still healthy, and good to go. Ava now weighs 15 lbs and five ounces. She is also 24 and 3/4 inches long. WOW! Drastic change from the 5 lb 11 ounce baby I gave birth to. She is perfectly healthy, and is a bit more advanced for her age. I know Justin was feeling great after Ava's appointment today. The doctor was impressed with how comfortable Justin was with Ava. He knows how to do everything I do, and that impressed the doctor. She said a lot of dads aren't that comfortable with their babies, that they are all okay with mom running the show. She made a comment as we were leaving, she said we should have ten kids with how mellow and in sync we were. While the compliment was flattering, I don't see us ever having 10 children.

The movers come in just two days, and then in seven days, Ava will be on her first plane ride. This week is going to consist of a lot of packing, school work, and prepping for our big move. I hope everyone stays warm this week! It looks like a huge cold front is coming in towards the states that aren't so used to this freezing weather.

♥- Leilani