Tonight is the first night in almost six weeks that I have had a complete evening to myself. I love my family, more than words.. but there has been something so wonderfully peaceful about having TWO whole hours to myself. There was no school work to be done, there was no reading for school to be done, the house work was done prior to the evening, and Justin went to bed early (after getting Ava ready for bed) because he's suffering from a head cold. Olivia went down easy as pie tonight, so all three of my Howland babies were in their nightly slumber. I decided to take my first 20 minute shower in... I honestly don't know how long. The rain/wind outside is coming down pretty heavy, so that made for the most serene background noise. It's the small details of my life that always make the biggest difference. I guess listening to rain fall in the shower was no exception. When we first moved into this house I thought it was so weird to have a window so close to the tub. Now? I absolutely love it. 

After being able to shower in peace, I decided to watch a show or movie.. something for me. Justin ended up selling parts of his man cave furniture (we are upgrading our living room furniture when we move) because he'll be getting the current living room furniture for his cave come June... which meant that the t.v. from the cave is now currently in our bedroom. We turned the man cave into a temporary playroom for the girls and a place where I can better my skills with indoor photos of our kiddos. Now I have this huge t.v. on my dresser/vanity and it's obnoxious... but it's proven to come in handy the last couple of days. Of all shows to watch, I ended up using my amazon prime membership to watch the show Glee. I just laughed writing that, but it's true. I think I got sucked in after the second episode. Modern day drama that has absolutely no relation to my life? Golden.

As I sit here, half watching glee, listening to the rainfall, and blogging out this rare moment.. All I can do is smile. My life has gotten 10X more chaotic in the last six week, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Every single day I get to wake up to the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen. I get to be a mama to the most beautiful girls in the world, and wife to the most considerate man on earth. Part of me wants to go and kiss each one of them right now... but for the sake of not waking them up, I think i'll wait until the sun rises. 

I'm off to finish episode four of Glee. I still can't believe this is what I decided to do with my evening. I can't wait to see Justin's reaction when he wakes up. 

♥- Leilani

Postpartum Care

A lot of the questions I've been asked about my labor and delivery experience have also included a ton of questions about my postpartum status. I mentioned in my previous post that I had no tears, abrasions, or cuts from delivering my sweet Livy bean, and that factor in and of itself is truly a blessing. I didn't have any type of tears with Ava bug either, so I'm extremely glad the physical aspect of delivery between both girls will be fairly the same. I haven't really experienced inflammation either, but I did prep myself for all types of care that I could potentially utilize after delivery. Here is a list of things I have used consistently, and some of the things I haven't used at all.

Constant Use

• Perri bottle
• cold pack pads (only during the first night at the hospital)
• large maxi pads + mama cloth postpartum pads
• placenta pills 

Things I Haven't Used At All

• arnica
• medi honey 
• witch hazel
• colace 
• earth mama angel baby bum balm

I also thought I'd be using my earth mama angel baby nipple cream a lot more as well.. I have only used it once. I haven't experienced painful nipples, engorgement, or any other breastfeeding discomforts this time around. The only pain I truly felt after delivery was in my tailbone, but I've been told this is due to the metal rod in hospital beds... and the slight pain when using the bathroom. Other than that, I've felt pretty amazing. My uterine contracting back down to size didn't bother me at all and I think that's why I didn't use arnica at all. Olivia is such a great eater, and nursing truly is the best way to get that uterus back down to size faster (at least for me). I'm only eight days postpartum and I am starting to feel more like myself each day. 

I was concerned about my mental health after delivery as well, but I'm pleased to report I don't have the case of the blues, I'm stuck on cloud 9 at the moment. I'm not sure if the placenta pills are working exceptionally well, or it's just my demeanor after having a new babe... either way, I can't complain. I did have one instance where I tried to pick Ava up (big mistake), but other than that there  haven't been any hiccups in my postpartum road to recovery. 

I never really track my weight on a scale, but for amusement, I did hop on one a few days ago. I am 27 pounds down from what I was at delivery. It's insane to me how much weight is added to our bodies when growing a baby. My diet has been fairly bland (don't want to irritate Olivia's new digestive system), and I've been chugging fluids like you wouldn't believe. My snacks consist of yogurt, fruits, and a lot of noodles. 

Justin has been completely amazing with assisting with my needs and the needs of our girls and I know he's a big reason why I am doing so well. He's been cleaning the house, taking care of Ava bug pretty much all the time, and allowing me to rest as often as I need to. The support I'm receiving from my other half during this time has definitely been needed and oh so appreciated. 

I definitely plan on updating you guys on how things are PP at the two week mark and again at the six week mark when I have my PP appointment. Hopefully things continue to be smooth sailing.

♥- Leilani

Take Care of Mama

Oh my goodness you guys, it has been a long weekend. I learned a few things, got a spider bite, and I spent the last twenty-four hours on bed rest. Let's rewind back to Saturday. My step dad had a huge birthday bash, so we decided to head on over and join the celebration. We got there around five and I initially planned on only staying an hour (for the sake of getting Ava home in "time" for bed). Well, that didn't happen. We actually stayed over four hours. We played everything by ear though. There were seriously one hundred people there. Ava bug was a little sketch about her surroundings at first, but after awhile she warmed up. She got comfortable enough to leave mom and dad's side (never happens), and she even let a random stranger hold her.

She ate big girl food, she danced ALL NIGHT, and she was full of smiles. Justin was able to enjoy himself as well. He had a great time socializing with people that have known me since I was a little girl. I even allowed myself to loosen up a bit. It's not easy being able to be laid back (at least for me), but I'm glad I did. Ready for the lesson I learned? It was about half an hour before we left, I really had to use the bathroom, so I tried to give Ava bug to my dad... she was not having it. She started crying and I knew she was tired. I took Ava back from my dad only to have some RANDOM woman (her name is Wendy, she is sweet), take my daughter from my arms and tell me to go away.

My initial reaction was to freak out. Especially since Ava was crying. My dad was there, and he kind of gave me that look that said everything was fine. I remember telling myself if Ava kept crying just one more second, I was going to take my baby back. All of a sudden, Ava stopped. Wendy took Ava on the dance floor, and the two were dancing together. I couldn't believe it. As I followed them on the deck, Wendy said something to me that I will never forget. She said, "You are a good mom. Good moms need to take care of themselves too. Go have fun." The whole situation was strange because I had never met this woman before. She told me exactly what I needed to hear in order for me to let go, and really have a good time.

I ended up dancing the last thirty minutes away with my husband (with Ava in sight), laughing, and really just enjoying myself. It was a perfect Saturday evening, and also Ava's first late night out. Ava bug is clearly a party animal and she did so well with going to bed later than usual. I wish I could say Sunday was equally as perfect, but it was not.

Sunday morning I noticed there was a welt like bump on my back.. I asked Justin to take a look and he immediately said it was a spider bite. Me, being the dramatic woman I am, instantly started to freak out. I legit though I was a goner. I eventually started to get the chills and that's when I knew it was time for an E.R. visit. After two calls to the consulting nurse, six hours, and a prescription later, I was finally back home. Apparently I'm having an allergic reaction the bite, and I just have to ride it out until it's over. If "taking care of mama" wasn't true on Saturday, it was definitely true on Sunday.

Justin pretty much took care of Ava bug and I the entire day. I'm still not feeling tip top today, but definitely better than yesterday. I guess the point of this post was to remind myself (and other mamas) that we need to care for ourselves too. Sure there's always a load of laundry to be done, kiddos to tend to, and dishes that probably need to be washed... but those things can wait. Make a date with yourself and don't forget it's okay to not have baby around you 24/7.

Check out a video of my child and her daddy dancing to happy. She really is the light of my world.

Happy Monday all!

♥- Leilani