Today marks four whole years of marriage with the love of my life and I still can't believe he picked me to be his forever person. This feeling is surreal you guys, and I'm blessed to know a love like this. I knew this man for less than six whole months prior to accepting his engagement. Saying yes was one of the craziest, scariest, most emotional things I have ever done in my life, but I never looked back. Not once. Here I am today, and I have so much to show from that "yes" I gave 4.5 years ago. I have a man that is accepting, gentle, and gives me an infinite amount of love. I've seen parts of this nation I wouldn't have dare gone alone and I made some long lasting friends and memories. I opened up my heart to the first fur animal I have ever truly loved, and I became a fur mama. I lost, I grieved, and gained with this man I call husband. He really has seen me through some of the lowest times, and the highs. He is the father of my child and my very best friend in the entire world. My existence, my life as I know it wouldn't be as bright or beautiful without him. With that being said, Happy Anniversary Woobie. You have and always will be the love of my life, and I can't wait to see what the next four years bring us...

Speaking of, as many of my Facebook friends saw, we are officially trying for baby # 2. I started to make a YouTube video to sum this up for you guys, but I kept getting really choked up about it. It was our intention to wait just a little bit longer before getting this ball rolling. We wanted to head to Vegas this March, we wanted to spend a little more time with each other and a little more time with one special little girl. This was something we've gone back and forth on for months, and I'm at a place where I know that Justin and I are ready for our second child. I'm finally ready to take on the emotions that come with fertility treatments and infertility. I no longer have this "what if" feeling in my gut when I dream of our next child. Everything feels right and my marriage and friendship with Justin is in the best place possible for this next bundle of joy.

This all happened so suddenly, so I don' want you guys to feel out of the loop. After Justin's grandfather passed, a lot of things in our household changed. We really embraced the notion of how quickly life can change in just moments. One day we were calling his grandparents home with Papoo answering and discussing the weather with me, the next he was gone. That's when the talk of Howland baby #2 started again. I started to realize that there was nothing seriously holding us back from trying. I also realized that if you have the opportunity to go after the things you want in life, why wait? My husband has been such a rock star through this entire process and I couldn't be more thankful for his patience. He's wanted another baby for quite some time and he's never really pressured me about it. He's never made me feel guilty or pushed the baby subject too heavily. I will always love him most for being such a considerate partner.

I had my first appointment yesterday with my new endocrinologist and I absolutely love her. Right from the start she let me tell her what path Justin and I were looking to take and she never made me feel uneasy about anything. We have opted to do injections again, so she prescribed provera to jump start a menstrual cycle so we can get this ball rolling. After the crimson tide shows up, I'll be taking shots to stimulate my ovaries. My doctor discussed the idea of multiples quite heavily, but I'm trying not to get overly nervous about that (yet). I am going to make a video all about my first appointment, go into more depth on the discussion, and the path we are taking. That pretty much sums up the last twenty four hours and I'm so excited to FINALLY be taking you guys on this journey with me.

How many of my readers are currently trying to conceive? How many of you are utilizing fertility treatments? Share with me in the comments below or by email.

Happy Wednesday all

♥- Leilani

Vlogging

First ever fertility vlog

♥- Leilani

DITY move with a 6 month old, her dog, and their daddy

This was our first time moving from state to state with a child, and with an animal. I've got to say, we did pretty well. We all fit comfortably in the u-haul, and we managed to make it to Texas in great timing. There were a handful of things Justin and I did to make this trip easier, and more enjoyable for all of us.

• When we stopped, it wasn't just for gas. We actually ate, took Ava out of her seat, and let Cooper walk around to use the restroom
• We played car games. Justin taught me some of the games he learned while deployed this past year
• We took pictures of each new state we entered, which kind of made it fun looking at all the landmarks we'd never seen
• I think my most favorite thing was just talking. Uninterrupted, laughing and lovey talk. I can't remember the last time we had THAT MUCH TIME to just take our time talking. 

I only had one minor heart attack during our trip. We were cruising down some highway, and Justin muttered something about don't do it. The next thing I know, he is braking EXTREMELY HARD. I seriously almost pee'd! A little sports car ripped out in front of us, causing Justin to steer off the road, and brake hard. It was super scary, but luckily nothing else came of that. That was the only fright we had during the drive. 

Ava knocked out extremely well in the u-haul. I think she may have woke up two or three time throughout the entire trip once she was in her deep sleep. I was so shocked for that! But, it was awesome. Cooper, my poor pooch. I don't think he knew what to make of the truck. He couldn't lay next to his daddy. He kept putting his head on Justin's foot that was on the gas peddle! It was just such an awkward situation for him. When we got to Texas, the first thing we did was call the truck company to turn in the dolly. Justin did SO well with driving with our car in tow. He could only go up to 55 mph, so we were getting passed quite a bit, and it definitely interfered with our arrival time, but safety does come first. After turning in the dolly, we went straight to the Laquinta Inn.. 

Let me just say I have only had good experiences at this establishment.. The one that we booked here in Texas looked VERY suspect. In fact, when we got up to our room, it wreaked of smoke. Ten seconds later, I picked up Ava bug and we decided we weren't staying there. I called the rental agency, and they were kind enough to bump our lease up a day! Yay! (which is why we are in our house now). It's funny because the front desk manager wasn't surprised that we were already turning in our keys. He assured me we wouldn't be charged, and he was completely understanding of why we chose to leave. 

A few of the things that we did after our DITY that I wish we would have done before are

• getting the water and electric turned our prior to our move in date
• weighing the truck and car prior to arriving at our new duty station
• not packing all the towels we own

All in all, I would do a DITY again. It is such a lovely feeling knowing my stuff arrived safely, and on TIME with us. I can say packing was a pain, but that's our fault for having all the stuff we have. You really do get a pretty penny from moving yourself, and that's something we are definitely not complaining about. This full DITY move actually gave us time to bond as a family on the road. Oh! Also, thank you to all my friends and family that prayed for our safe arrival. We had a very smooth sailing trip for the most part, and I can't help but think that all of you had something to do with that ;) 

Happy Thursday all! 

 ♥- Leilani