Today my referral for a reproductive endocrinologist was processed and approved. When I got the email my heart just stopped. My mind instantly went back to Fort Lewis and how much harder it was to get on the journey that brought us to Olivia. Trying to get a referral from Madigan didn't happen and it was a nightmare to deal with. Since they had their own reproductive clinic within the hospital, they didn't refer patients out. They also didn't allow you to seek treatment if you didn't fit the certain stipulations they had. I was crushed. I don't know what we would have done without Seattle Reproductive Medicine. We took the non referral route and tricare definitely hates when you seek specialist care without a referral when you have PRIME. Even with the higher costs, it was worth it. We have a beautiful 11 month old baby girl because of our decision. Seeing the approval today just took me back. It was so incredibly easy for our civilian sector PCM to request it and have it processed within hours. 

Makes me even more thankful for Justin's recruiting gig for the next few years. Civilian care is so, so different from military care. They seem to not only be friendlier, but more attentive, and they take care of your needs when you are there... not after you've gone home, a week has passed, and you've been forced to make a phone call to see what the hold up is. So many positives to this side of the Army, so many! Now that the referral has been taken care of I just need to start scheduling my appointments. It truly doesn't feel like all that long ago that I was starting my fertility appointments for a second round when we conceived Olivia. I'm so nervous about a new facility though. Hopefully it all goes well and we are able to click with a provider that we like. 

This is so incredibly exciting. Justin and I just spent a good chunk of our evening going over all things baby. I can't believe our family could most definitely be expanding in just a couple of months. Ava keeps asking for a baby brother - let's see if she's right on this one! 


♥- Leilani

9-6

I may talk about this a lot over the course of the next three years, but I can't help it. The girls and I are on this permanent cloud nine and it feels incredible. Because we are a military family, there are a lot of things that are out of our control. Sometimes - it's the big stuff. Like, giving birth to your first born child while your husband is over 7,000 miles away. Most times it's just the little stuff... like just being home as a family and spending time together. We have learned to make all of our moments together count, even if daddy isn't home for them. This month marks four months that I have gone to sleep beside my husband every single night. This month marks four months that our children have seen their father every single day. If you are military, you know how HUGE something like this is. 

I have had to learn not to over schedule our time in an effort to make sure Justin is included - because he always is. Saturday morning breakfast, swim classes, and lazy Sundays... he is home for all the moments. I think it just really hit me this weekend. Justin had the last few days off and they were amazing. Not just amazing because he was off, amazing because there was nothing we had to catch up on. Usually when he's in the field for a month, has staff duty overnight, or he's doing some type of week long training on post - there is always something he has to be caught up on. A picture Ava drew, a new word Ava said, something pregnancy related... that just isn't the case right now.

I get to watch my husband be the father he wants to be, even while having a full career in the military. I am so incredibly proud and gushing over how much of a family man Justin is. Whether it's flying around the house in PJ MASKS costumes with the girls, sneaking in chocolate treats with Ava before dinner, or reading them new books we picked out from Barnes and Noble earlier in the day.... he's here for all of our moments. I am so blessed to have this man for my husband. Adjusting to seeing one another every day wasn't nearly as weird as i thought it would be. Instead, I'm giddy at the end of his work day. I can't wait to see him. Even though we text throughout the day, I still get excited to hear about what happened at work. This is bliss. 

♥- Leilani

Not Alone

Last night was rough. I mean it was really rough. Both girls are currently sick (we just found out Ava was sick last night) and we are exhausted. Yesterday, I could tell something was off with Ava. Her face looked a bit sunken in, she wasn't being her normal active, bouncing up and down three year old self. She wasn't hungry, she looked exhausted to be honest. We had a really busy last three days, so part of me just assumed that it was due to being on the go so much.. but then as the night progressed, my mommy instincts just knew that my little girl was sick. Justin didn't think so at first, but I knew. Olivia has had congestion, a runny nose, and coughs for the last 2-3 days? So i knew with her cold we just had to let it ride its course. 

We put Ava to bed last night and I kept telling Justin that she was going to puke. To my surprise, she didn't. In fact, Ava made her way into our room after midnight just wanting to cuddle... then literally moments after she got cozy in our bed.. VOMIT! I knew it. I knew it was coming. I was able to turn her body towards the end of the bed so the vomit was on the floor and not our bed. She did get some on the pillow she was using, but other than that- our bed was puke free ( I still changed the bedding, the pillows, and sanitized EVERYTHING). Justin carried her into the bathroom so she could finish puking in the toilet. I immediately go to work on cleaning up the vomit that was inches away from the bassinet Olivia was fast asleep in. 

I have such a weak stomach for stuff like this, but when it comes to my kids.. I just suck it up and get the job done. I could tell that Ava had nothing left to puke up - partially by the contents that were on our bedroom floor and because I couldn't hear anything from the bathroom. Justin ran Ava a lukewarm bath and let her just enjoy the water while I cleaned up. I put a load of the vomit laundry in the washer, washed my hands, and then immediately went into the bathroom to bathe Ava. While I was doing that, Olivia woke up.. I'm sure it was due to the fact that our BRIGHT bedroom lights were shining on her face. Luckily, Justin was there to scoop her up and cuddle her. 

I knew she wanted to nurse, so we had to switch kiddos after I got Ava out of the bathtub. I quickly got Ava dressed in her vomit free pajamas and all three of us girls settled into fresh sheets while Justin used the spot cleaner to take away the lovely strawberry stained vomit spot from the side of our bed. Both girls immediately fell asleep even with the loud noises of the spot cleaner blaring in our room. In those moments, I actually got emotional. 

Emotional because I am so thankful that my husband was there. Don't get me wrong, I can tell he definitely misses being on the line with his combat brothers, but this recruiting assignment has been a god sent for our entire family. There have been many a puke nights where it was just me cleaning up after our little girl. Where it was just  me trying to juggle everything all at one time. Every night that I lay my head on my pillow, Justin is right beside me. I can't tell you how amazing it feels not to be alone. I know this might not last forever, but I'm relishing in the fact that it's our current situation.

♥- Leilani

Recruiting Life: 30 days in

I'm actually writing this just a little bit early, but while the subject is fresh on my brain, why not share? This week (on Thursday to be exact) Justin will have been in USAREC for 30 days. It has been such a whirlwind for our family... definitely different from Justin being on the line, but we are finding a normal in the mists of all the change. I think the best part of this entire situation is the fact that we do see Justin every single morning and every single night. Because I'm such a big fan of all things organization and lists.. you guessed it right? Yep. Below is a PRO + CON list for our current situation.

PRO:

1. NO deployments. (This is definitely a major plus)
2. NO field time (definitely won't be missing those 30+ days of the husband being away)
3. NO 24 hour duties
4. Justin is home every morning for breakfast 
5. Justin is home every night
6. Sundays are guaranteed days off (as far as I know)
7. If he converts to 79R, we can literally live anywhere in the USA
8. He will be able to put in for quarterly leave, if he wants to
9. He gets to wear civilian clothes on Fridays + Saturdays

CONS:

1. Justin works until after 7pm ALMOST every single night (except Saturdays so far)
2. The FRG is pretty non-existent here.. ZERO family support for military families
3. We don't get to talk to each other during the day, like at all. He tries to shoot an I love you text when he can or call while he's out prospecting (those are appreciated)
4. We will never see Justin for lunch or dinner the next 3 years (meal times are family time for us)
5. He misses Ava's activity classes due to working on Saturday
6. His stress level is so much higher than it was while he was on the line
7. Only one person from the station can be on leave at a time (won't be traveling during the holidays to see family, that's for sure)
8. The girls only get to spend time with their dad 1 day a week
9. Justin feels like he's missing out on a lot because he works so much.. sometimes he comes home and the girls are already asleep
10.  I feel like I never see my husband. I saw him more when he was on the line - that's with him leaving for training and such too

The negatives of recruiting are so incredibly overwhelming. From the outside looking in, it's just awful. They are essentially making these soldiers sell a dream that isn't for everyone.. if they fail to sell that dream X number of times in a month.. longer days, loss of weekends, who knows what else I've heard some people explain how much they love this type of lifestyle, I've heard many who've shared how much they hate it. Granted we are only 30 days in and things could very well change over the next month.. but I'm not hopeful. 

I am focusing on making the time we have together count. For the girls sake and my own. I try to remind myself that things could be worse... and there are plenty of people in the civilian spectrum that work jobs with even more hours.. or 2 jobs.. or opposite work schedules from their SO. There is a lot of good to relish in for our situation, and with the good comes the not so good stuff... just trying to take deep breaths and take it in stride.

From his first week of recruiting!

♥- Leilani

Texas Home

That's right. I'm not totally sure that I shared the news of Justin's next recruiting station.. but if you didn't already guess by the title of this blog, it is Texas! This was the location that we decided as a family to head to, rather than Justin's home state, New York. While being near his family and familiar places would have been ideal, living in a state with a lower cost of living and a better opportunity to find recruits was a better choice. We have known that Justin was going recruiting for about 8 months now, so our mindset has been mostly positive. He was DA selected and apparently only a really small percentage of the ARMY actually qualifies for recruiting details. They go over all of your financial situations (past and present), your background, your driving record, etc. It's both a privilege and an amazing career opportunity for Justin. 

We have lived in Texas prior to this occasion.. but that lasted about a month. If you are a long time reader, you know that a compassion reassignment was granted for JBLM just a week after we arrived at Fort Hood. Justin never did make it to his unit and we never really got to explore Texas the way we intended. We are so excited about all the opportunities that will arise for our growing family while in the South. It's funny actually because most of my marriage has taken place in the South as well. If you recall, we lived in Georgia for just about three years prior to moving to Fort Hood for a month. We have lived in Washington now for just over two years.. and although Washington is home for me, I am so excited about this change. 

I'm definitely not ready to be moving there in the dead of summer... but I am SO excited about getting central air back into a home of ours... which brings me to our home.. We have been working with a real estate agent for about 1.5 months now? Aaron has been absolutely fantastic and has actually compiled a house list with homes 5 miles or less away from Justin's workplace. I have seen well over 100 homes from his list and out of over 100 homes.. ONLY TWO have actually made me scream: YES! I WANT TO LIVE HERE. Thankfully for us, one of those two homes is the home we will be living in. The process started on late Friday afternoon (when I first noticed the listing) and we just found out on Monday afternoon that we got the house! 

Finding a house when moving is always a big stress for me. I need to *love* the home we move to, it helps with adapting to change for me. I also love being able to have an address for forwarding mail, the movers, and for our family/friends. My favorite part about this home is hands down the backyard and the kitchen. The backyard can be seen from the kitchen and I envision long summer days watching Ava bug play and run around having the time of her life. There are also three big windows with plenty of opportunity for light.. which means awesome for picture taking.

Overall, I am just so completely excited about this move and what it will mean for our family. 

♥- Leilani

Thanks Army

This year has been the hardest year (out of all five) being a military family. It seems like Justin has left a lot more, which I know he hasn't... I just haven't handled the distance as gracefully as I would have liked. When he's actually home for long stretches of time, I grow extremely accustomed. I get used to cuddles at night, enjoying dinner time with my little family, and being able to make plans through the weekend. We don't have to treat every single moment as bittersweet as usual, because daddy is there throughout the day. We love those long stretches together.... however, this is the Army, and those don't always last for long... or so we thought.

Justin's intention for his impending reenlistment was to reenlist for a duty station with tanks where he could get his tank commander time. I fully support his career and his dreams no matter what sacrifices I have to make along the way. I know that when it's my time to jump back into the work field, he will support me without thinking twice, no matter what I decide to do. I give him the same courtesies, even though it's not always easy. I was fully prepared to make a move next year to a different duty station that also came with lots of field time, training time, essentially time apart. Then, the Army decided to throw a twist in the mix. Justin got a text from one of his superiors saying that he had come down on recruiting orders. Initially, I was freaking out when he told me. I don't like change, I also don't like big news through text messages... but when your husband is in the middle of the mojave desert with minimal cell service, I guess a text message is better than not knowing at all.

I spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why this had to happen now. He knew what he wanted to do, I had an idea of where we were more than likely going, I had prepped myself for that type of transition. When I finally allowed my head to stop spinning and after I'd talk to about a handful of my friends... I realized, this wasn't such a bad surprise. Recruiting means Justin doesn't go to the field. Recruiting means Justin doesn't deploy, he doesn't have training months, he comes home every single night.... our long stretch would become a reality. The assignment is for three years. Three beautiful years of being able to see my husband every night when I go to sleep. Three years of our kids having daddy available for dance recitals, Ava's first day of kindergarten, and maybe another pregnancy?

I suddenly started to fill with excitement.. especially when Justin mentioned he's started networking with recruiters near his hometown. It is my absolute wish to be near family as often as we can. Justin is fortunate in the fact that his entire family lives in one general area. This means all of Ava's grandparents, her aunts, her uncle, her cousin... She could essentially live a normal life with family all around. The idea of recruiting has me feeling extremely excited and happy. When I finally talked to Justin, we were both on the same page. He was thinking about dropping a recruiting packet awhile back, but ultimately decided to try for his TC time first. I know this decision wasn't ours, but I'm glad it's happened. No matter where we end up, we will be together. Like any job, I'm sure there are things Justin won't like about it, but hopefully seeing our faces everyday makes up for what the job lacks! the picture I included made me smile... we won't have to limit beach getaways on Justin's block leave anymore.. exploration will be so much more open, and I'm ecstatic.

♥- Leilani