This week, Justin made a more permanent decision to ensure that no more Howland babies would be happening for us and to say that I am relieved would be an understatement.
Justin's Vasectomy: No More Babies
Friday, June 1, 2018
Did I get your attention? I have now successfully excited and/or shocked SO many of my readers with these baby blog titles over the years. I love it! Can you actually believe that we are now on to thoughts of baby #4? If your first thought was, "You are nuts", you may be right. It is absolutely bananas that we have three children, let alone that we've talked about trying for another. When I started writing and sharing this blog, Ava was still growing in the womb. Tell me time doesn't fly. Go ahead. But yes, talks of another (final) baby have emerged rather quickly. Some of you don't know, but I turned 27 in March. Yep, the B-I-G TWO SEVEN. Somehow, gaining a new year has made my biological clock tick more than ever inside my brain. That's weird right? I'm already a mama, with a fairly new babe no less.. and yet i still feel like my window for having more babies is coming to a close.
When Justin and I first discussed having children, we also discussed the sacrifices that we would both be making. He, of course, would continue to climb the ladder in his military career and I would take care of our babies full time. I was also very adamant about the fact that I wanted my 20's to be filled with bringing new life into our family (god willing), and the next decade - my 30's I didn't want that door to be open if we had a choice. I have so many goals I'd like to execute in my lifetime and while motherhood was at the top of my list when I married Justin, it wasn't the only dream I wanted to come true. Our babies will grow and as they grow, the demands of parenthood will shift. That's where the timing comes in... another baby presents so many choices.
While I can be a practical thinker, family planning is not solely based off of absolute practicals. I mean, you are never *really* ready for a baby and I don't want numbers and "what ifs" to prevent us from trying again. I can't even believe I'm sharing this with you guys. Everyday I wake up and look at my twelve week old son I am reminded of how fulfilled I am with being a mama. This season of my life has been the absolute sweetest and I can't help but think of Liam being a big brother. I do have my days where the white flag is hanging high and I'm just completely over any thought of adding another precious babe to the bananas that is our life - but those days are honestly far and few. Justin said last night that he doesn't feel like Liam is our last... I guess we will have to wait and see. 2020 could be a pretty big deal for this family.
Monday, February 13, 2017
It is completely in my nature to bare my soul with the world (or whoever will listen, let's be real!). As much as I'd like to keep our trying to conceive plans under wraps - something is stirring inside me. Something is telling me to share and not to let the past hinder the future. I remember a familiar season like this... almost like it was yesterday. When we were trying for baby # 2, I vlogged, I blogged, I basically told EVERYONE we had ever known that we were trying for another baby. When we found out the cycle hadn't resulted in a pregnant Leilani, I was devastated. Justin was at school, I was alone with Ava, and everyone flooded us with "I'm sorry it didn't happen this time guys" vibes. It was a hard pill to swallow and I told myself that the next cycle would be a private one - and it was. That was also the cycle we conceived Miss Olivia. With Ava, we just didn't tell anyone because of the miscarriage I had a couple years before her conception.
I have basically told myself that not sharing will result in pregnancy and not to jinx it... but I'm going to give this sharing thing another shot! I'm so stinkin' excited about another Howland babe joining our family. All my dreams as of late show me and this new baby... it feels so real. I've woken up a few times and the reality of our situation quickly takes over.. but still. I love these baby dreams. I've had people in our extended family ask why we want more kids and I think this is the perfect time to share. I think most of my long time readers, friend, and family know that Justin and I are products of "broken homes" in two different ways. My parents divorced, Justin's parents were never married, and we both experienced (many times) how it feels to not know where you belong.
When we discussed children, before actually having children, we decided we wanted this football team of Howland kids. We wanted to create life together, nourish that life, and send them into the world knowing they ALWAYS belonged. Knowing that they were loved, cared for, wanted, prayed for, and so, so accepted. Even now we talk about how close we want to be with our kids. We want to create a tight knit, supportive, and inclusive family for our kids. We know what it feels like to grow up and not have support from family and to be honest and frank - it sucks.
The upbringing we experienced has taught us WHAT NOT to do in life. What not to do with our children and in our marriage. I wouldn't change my life - not even a single bad moment because I know they molded me into the woman I am now. The same with Justin. He is a damn good father, husband, provider, and friend. I don't know that we'd even still be together if he were different. If our lives were different. So there you have it! The goal is to create and raise some wholesome beings. When I'm old and gray - I can only hope that those same kiddos decide to create some life of their own... As premature as these thoughts are - we are going to ROCK the grandparent sector of life. I cannot wait to experience that either. I cannot wait to give my babies' babies everything that our kids didn't have when it comes to extended family.
We are making this HUGE ripple and I cannot tell you how amazing it feels. To wrap this up, we are trying for baby # 3. Yes, actively trying in the mists of starting follicle stimulating medicine - we are doing this! Fingers crossed this first cycle is the ticket but if it isn't, this won't be the last time we try. Good thoughts, vibes, prayers, and optimism are all welcomed you guys! I can't believe I could soon be a mama of three. I love the sound of that.
Just a picture from my appointment this morning. My uterine lining is still SUPER thick, so the goal is to shed it before I start my shots!
♥- Leilani
I have basically told myself that not sharing will result in pregnancy and not to jinx it... but I'm going to give this sharing thing another shot! I'm so stinkin' excited about another Howland babe joining our family. All my dreams as of late show me and this new baby... it feels so real. I've woken up a few times and the reality of our situation quickly takes over.. but still. I love these baby dreams. I've had people in our extended family ask why we want more kids and I think this is the perfect time to share. I think most of my long time readers, friend, and family know that Justin and I are products of "broken homes" in two different ways. My parents divorced, Justin's parents were never married, and we both experienced (many times) how it feels to not know where you belong.
When we discussed children, before actually having children, we decided we wanted this football team of Howland kids. We wanted to create life together, nourish that life, and send them into the world knowing they ALWAYS belonged. Knowing that they were loved, cared for, wanted, prayed for, and so, so accepted. Even now we talk about how close we want to be with our kids. We want to create a tight knit, supportive, and inclusive family for our kids. We know what it feels like to grow up and not have support from family and to be honest and frank - it sucks.
The upbringing we experienced has taught us WHAT NOT to do in life. What not to do with our children and in our marriage. I wouldn't change my life - not even a single bad moment because I know they molded me into the woman I am now. The same with Justin. He is a damn good father, husband, provider, and friend. I don't know that we'd even still be together if he were different. If our lives were different. So there you have it! The goal is to create and raise some wholesome beings. When I'm old and gray - I can only hope that those same kiddos decide to create some life of their own... As premature as these thoughts are - we are going to ROCK the grandparent sector of life. I cannot wait to experience that either. I cannot wait to give my babies' babies everything that our kids didn't have when it comes to extended family.
We are making this HUGE ripple and I cannot tell you how amazing it feels. To wrap this up, we are trying for baby # 3. Yes, actively trying in the mists of starting follicle stimulating medicine - we are doing this! Fingers crossed this first cycle is the ticket but if it isn't, this won't be the last time we try. Good thoughts, vibes, prayers, and optimism are all welcomed you guys! I can't believe I could soon be a mama of three. I love the sound of that.
Just a picture from my appointment this morning. My uterine lining is still SUPER thick, so the goal is to shed it before I start my shots!
♥- Leilani
Friday, March 18, 2016
This week has been hard. For someone that is usually fairly good with words. I haven't had very many. Today made one week since my mom passed and I didn't expect today to be any better than the day I got the news. I was surprisingly, incorrect. Today was just a smidge better. Justin and I have been discussing adding more littles to our family more than ever now. With those types of conversation came conversations about homes... vehicles.. and other deciding life factors when discussing family expansion. We went down to Oregon last weekend to be with good friends of ours and while we were down there we took a look at their snazzy minivan. It was so HUGE. They are a family of six and their van easily accommodates all of their needs comfortably. Justin and I discussed the idea of us trading in my SUV for a van in the future. I had no idea that future would be less than a week later.
We did our research online about minivans first. Their value, their mileage, different brands, what we would want for our budget, etc. We ended up deciding on the very minivan that we had seen while in Oregon. The Dodge Caravan. This "Mom Wagon" is seriously amazing. It has SOOO much storage space, sits seven people, and it has all the bells and whistles. I found a certified preowned that I absolutely adored, so we went down to the dealership to see if it was a good fit for us. The van itself is white and it has all black features. Windows, rims, etc. It is fully loaded with a dvd player, leather seats, navigation, and power door options.It also came with every warranty you could possibly have, so we are covered in every which way possible. It didn't take long to sell me on something I already wanted, so the looking part was a very short and simple process.
We immediately began to workout the finance aspect and we were pleasantly surprised with the numbers. The entire process took just under 4.5 hours, but I am happy to report that we are the owner of a 2015 Dodge Caravan. Side note, taking two children under three to a car dealership for over 4 hours was SO much easier than we ever expected. I know each child is different, but Olivia didn't have her "witching hour" fit.. (she actually hasn't for almost a week now), and Ava was as sweet as pie... once the car salesmen gave her a balloon from a display. We ended up leaving the dealership around 730, but we were so relieved that I finally found my "forever" car for our family. Grocery shopping is going to be SO much better now that I actually have trunk space. We have talked about trying for another baby in February 2017, so this mom wagon is going to be perfect for a possible new addition next year.
Here's a little video I made for social media:
♥- Leilani
We did our research online about minivans first. Their value, their mileage, different brands, what we would want for our budget, etc. We ended up deciding on the very minivan that we had seen while in Oregon. The Dodge Caravan. This "Mom Wagon" is seriously amazing. It has SOOO much storage space, sits seven people, and it has all the bells and whistles. I found a certified preowned that I absolutely adored, so we went down to the dealership to see if it was a good fit for us. The van itself is white and it has all black features. Windows, rims, etc. It is fully loaded with a dvd player, leather seats, navigation, and power door options.It also came with every warranty you could possibly have, so we are covered in every which way possible. It didn't take long to sell me on something I already wanted, so the looking part was a very short and simple process.
We immediately began to workout the finance aspect and we were pleasantly surprised with the numbers. The entire process took just under 4.5 hours, but I am happy to report that we are the owner of a 2015 Dodge Caravan. Side note, taking two children under three to a car dealership for over 4 hours was SO much easier than we ever expected. I know each child is different, but Olivia didn't have her "witching hour" fit.. (she actually hasn't for almost a week now), and Ava was as sweet as pie... once the car salesmen gave her a balloon from a display. We ended up leaving the dealership around 730, but we were so relieved that I finally found my "forever" car for our family. Grocery shopping is going to be SO much better now that I actually have trunk space. We have talked about trying for another baby in February 2017, so this mom wagon is going to be perfect for a possible new addition next year.
Here's a little video I made for social media:
I've been asked to make a video of the inside of the mom wagon, so i may end up posting that on the blog as well. Ava already loves her new big girl seat in the van, and she loves that her BIG window rolls down. The air flow is amazing, the stowaway seats are so great. I am definitely looking forward to our BIG move in just sixty some odd days! I cannot wait to road trip with my sweet family in our new wheels.
♥- Leilani
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