I can’t decide what I’m more emotional about. The fact that my son is just a mere four months away from celebrating his first full year, or the fact that the next time I write a milestone blog post we will no longer live in the only home my son has ever known. When I think about how much Liam has grown I think about the house we brought him home to from the hospital. I think about those early newborn days and how I’d find myself sleeping in Justin’s “man cave” more often than not - baby boy, snuggled into my arms. It doesn’t seem possible that eight months have passed. It just doesn’t. I can recall almost every single detail of Liam’s arrival as if it were just yesterday, and yet here we are. This past month went by extremely quick. With Halloween, visits from his great gran, and new milestones met - we had a lot going on.

Clothes: Lamby has CHUNKY thighs (like his daddy) so finding pants to fit has become a hassle. In the summer months I was able to utilize those athletic looking shorts from carters… but we don’t have that luxury with these Washington winters. We need fleece, we need warm, we need thick.. which means, I’ll be going up another size to accommodate our growing boy. For the bulk of his clothing we are still in 12-18months, but I’ve started buying 18 month sleepers and 18-24 winter clothing lately.

Health: The eczema flair ups don’t really happen like I thought they would. He can go days without any sign of red irritated skin - but then he’ll have a day where he’s scratching at his skin and you see the red bumps along his neck, thigh, and little chunky leg. I feel so bad for my boy. I know I hate being itchy, so I cannot imagine how he feels. We use Aquaphor quite liberally and continue to with every diaper change. I’m hoping to actually utilize medication once he’s old enough.

Feeding: Our boy is still eating through his purees really well. I’ve started feeding him prunes between purees to prevent him from becoming constipated. He takes to purees much better than I expected, so I’ve slowed down on the baby led weaning. Especially because we’ll be road tripping next month. It is MUCH easier to pack purees for sure.

Sleep: Our boy is back on his normal sleep pattern (thank goodness). Liam takes about three naps during the day and finds himself down for bedtime at around 8pm? Maybe later depending on how active we are at putting him to sleep. He sleeps through the night perfectly and he’s been sleeping in until about the time daddy takes his big sister to school. I’m so thankful to have had three awesome sleepers! Thank you, Lamby!

Milestones: He’s so close to rocking! I can feel it. He will be crawling before we know it. Liam has been so active with his floor time these last few weeks. He loves grabbing anything in his reach and he gets SO upset when a toy falls or something is taken from him. His laughter is hysterical and watching him engage with his sisters is such a sight to see. He can sit up unassisted for quite some time now and if he sees something he wants, it usually ends up in his mouth once he reaches it.

Things You Like: MUSIC. Hands down. Music is the one full proof way to get our son to soothe. He has a select playlist that he prefers and anything outside of that isn’t very helpful. Liam LOVES peek-a-boo- and he absolutely loves when his sister’s get on the floor (his level) to play with him. He’s been showering with mama during bath time lately and he loves playing with the water and is completely fascinated as to why he cannot grab it. He loves his exersaucer much more than both of his sisters (though we don’t use it very often).

This little boy is just such a happy baby and we love it. Eight months of pure bliss with my sweet Liam Arthur and we just feel so blessed.

P.S. My mother-in-law mentioned (again) about the lack of birth announcements I sent out this time around. We’ve always sent them, this time… we just didn’t. BUT I did go ahead and make one for the sake of having something tangible other than social media. Here it is!

Liam Arthur: Six months old

Baby boy, how did we get here? I dreaded the days prior to this blessed milestone because this makes you exactly one half of one year old. It seems like this last month you’ve just achieved milestone after milestone and while I am so incredibly happy to watch you grow, it hurts so much. Your life has been lived at such a warp speed baby. I wish the time would just slow down. Even if only for a moment. Every second with you has been such a blessing and I thank God for your continued health, growth, and joy you bring to this family.

Clothes: We have been shopping for 12 months clothing and 18 months clothing as of late. Peanut doesn’t have his well baby until the end of the week so I’m unsure of his current weight (I’m pretty positive he’s over 20 pounds at this point). Liam has these thick, roll filled thighs and that’s what makes the sizes a little more tricky. He still fits into nine month clothing, but I can tell they are getting a bit snug. Sleepers and pajamas will soon be switched out and 6-9 month clothing will most definitely be at thing of the past come October.

Health: My Liam lamb had his second cold just a week ago. His sister inevitably brought home some strain of a cold from school a couple weeks ago and it made its way through the household. Our boy was a champ and spent maybe one to three days with a stuffy nose and lots of sneezes? That was the extent of it though. He nursed quite a bit more during his sick days and I know that mama milk likely helped my baby boy get back to good health a lot sooner.

Feeding: Liam experienced solid foods for the first time today! We gave him sweet potatoes and he didn’t seem to care for them. His facial expression were hilarious, but he took to eating from a spoon + solids a lot easier than I anticipated. Nursing has been a little weird lately because our boy is teething. He doesn’t want to nurse unless he’s actually hungry (decreased comfort nursing) and he prefers me to rub his gums or hold him tight when he’s trying to fall asleep. I don’t mind it though. He prefers different methods of soothing than his sisters did and its been a sweet change of what I’m used to around here.

Sleep: I officially jinxed myself. I’m not sure I’d say its a sleep regression but this boy has been having a difficult time going down for bed at night. Normally, Liam nurses and falls asleep no problem. Lately, he’s fighting his sleep even though he’s clearly tired. Once he’s asleep though, he sleeps through the night (which is still very much appreciated). I’ve never had a hard time getting my babies to sleep, so this is definitely giving me a run for my money. I almost put Liam in the carseat to take a drive (something we have literally never done in parenthood). I’m hoping once teething lets up, his normal sleep pattern resumes.

Milestones: This boy is SO CLOSE to rolling over from back to tummy. He turns to his side, but he doesn’t allow himself to fully turn over. Liam cut his first tooth this month as well! We can see it, we can feel it, and I can’t wait for it to break through. Aside from him having a challenging time going to bed at night, there have been no others signs of discomforts in regards to teething (hallelujah). When I put Liam down for tummy time he is moving all around. He can scoot his body to the far left or right of wherever he is and I’m impressed. Maybe he’ll be crawling soon?

Things You Like: I’ve noticed that my boy appreciates conversation a lot more than ever before. I talk to him about pretty much everything and to watch his sweet little face light up - man, its everything. He enjoys having his name called and scanning a room for your face. He loves to play peek-a-boo, suck on mama’s jewelry, and watching all the fans/mobiles turn round and round. You love some good music. To name a few of your fav jams? Dancing on my own by Calum Scott. Someone to call my lover by Janet Jackson. God’s plan by Drake. Downtown by Macklemore.

Liam Arthur: Five Months Old

My son. My sweet baby boy is five months old today and if I am being honest, this is hard. His infancy is going by so fast and all I want to do is press the pause button. Our lives are currently "go go go" and as we are going through the motions of hustle + bustle and raising small children, my sweet boy is just growing too dang fast. I held onto my boy SO much more than normal (which isn't say much since that's pretty much what I do on the daily) today. I'm so excited to watch him grow... it just feels so bittersweet this time around.

Clothes: I honestly think my son is pushing 20 pounds? Maybe a little more or a little less? Six month clothing is becoming a thing of the past and nine-month clothing is a go (pretty much). All of his six months sized shorts are TIGHT and they look so uncomfortable for my little peanut. I've been buying twelve month clothing because I know he's not far off from being in that size and I just can't believe how much he's growing! Sleepers in 6-9 months still fit fine, but its the everyday clothes that are becoming a bit tricky.

Health: Liam is in wonderful health! He hasn't been plagued by another cold just yet and his skin irritation (we thought it was eczema or dermatitis) has cleared up for the most part. Sometimes I'll see a small flare up on his back or a patch on his upper thigh, but after liberally applying the eucerin creme for babies, it doesn't take long for his skin to be back in the clear <--- still completely true for his fifth-month update too! 

Feeding: We still nurse on demand and Liam is feeding either every other hour or maybe 2-3 hours in between each feeding. We won't be introducing any solid foods until he's six months old, so it's solely breastmilk for the next thirty days. You guys know how proud I am to have established my third breastfeeding journey, successfully. The comfort for Liam that's associated with nursing is pretty incredible. Although I'm curious to see how solids will impact our nursing relationship, I'm in no rush for my son to have foreign nourishment. It's crazy to me that we've made it through five whole months of nursing.

Sleep: My son is SUCH AN INCREDIBLE SLEEPER. Seriously. This was the one area I was worried about (I've had SO many people tell me how sleep patterns with boys are more challenging) because I have never lost sleep during my kids' infancy - Liam is no different. He's a gem and he co-sleeps just fine. I did actually lay him in his crib last week (he fell asleep on my chest) because I wanted to see if he would stir or sleep in his crib... he slept in it for almost 35 whole minutes! I was shocked. We set up a nursery/toddler room for Liam and his sissy, hence the crib (blog post to come!) and so far its been nice to have an extra place in the house to lay my baby boy safely.  

Milestones: Neck muscles are getting SO strong. He can scoot himself like into different angles when he's doing tummy time. He still hasn't rolled over from back to tummy, but we still have plenty of time for that to happen. He is talking SO much more now. Lots of "baa baa baa" and a few other words when he's upset. He's got the strongest grip (and has for a while) but his sisters don't appreciate their hair being pulled almost anytime he's near them.

Things You Like: Surprisingly, peanut has become a fan of the swing. I've had this swing since my first baby and each kiddo has given it a try at one point or another. Liam fell asleep in the swing the other night and absolutely loves the moving mobile. I know he likes the swinging motion too, and again its nice to have a safe place to put my son when I need free hands. You like when your sisters sing to you, you like when mama kisses your little cheeks and hands, you also like when daddy makes funny faces. Your belly laugh is infectious and it literally lights up our entire world. You are showing us more of your personality son and I fall more in love with who you are every single day. Happy five months my sweet baby!

Liam Arthur: Three Months Old

Is it possible that our sweet boy can get even more perfect as he grows? It most definitely is. It is still so bitter sweet writing these updates with baby # 3. It's still surreal saying that sometimes, but I love it so much. We have had mega strides in the last month - car rides are bearable (for baby and for us) and I cannot even begin to explain what a feat that has been. Our summer routine is most definitely surrounded by this little guy (to an extent) and we avoid driving after his nap time, like the plague. He loves nursing immediately after he wakes up, immediately after he gets a diaper change. I love that we are getting more routine as a family. It certainly has made a lot of the transitions from two babies to three much easier. It may seem like its not that big of a deal, but I took the kids to the mall BY MYSELF for the first time last week. I felt like super mom, legit. Being outnumbered by three is a big deal for me.

Clothes: Liam is in six month clothing! Well, he's got a couple 3-6 month outfits that I didn't pack away (yes, I actually packed his newborn clothes and three month clothing away) but other than that our big boy has moved on up. I won't lie, I was in complete denial about how much he's grown and I was wholeheartedly okay with leaving his newborn sleepers and onesies in the same space as his six month. It's hard watching him grow in general, but the clothing sizes are a real, tangible reminder. I spent most of my Friday night folding and stowing his clothes away thinking: "Will this be the last time I see these little outfits?" So yeah, it's been emotional for sure.

Health: We have yet to encounter a second cold with our peanut, but inevitably, i know it'll happen sooner or later. We have experienced dry skin patches as of late - initially I thought it was eczema, but he doesn't have red patches, they don't seem to bother him, and they aren't located in the common "eczema areas". I have a feeling it might be due to the vinegar I tend to put in our laundry sometimes, and since we use free + clear everything, Liam's clothes are not sorted out. I have decided to wash him clothes separately, vinegar free, and we stopped using our beloved Burts bee's and Aveeno lotion just in case those are culprits. We switched to eucerin lotion + shampoo/soap. They seem to be working well and the dry patches are mostly soft and smooth like the rest of him. We also switched *sort of* to size three diapers. They are still a little big, but size two diapers are definitely snug on the baby thighs.

Feeding: Liam is still nursing on demand and everything with our breastfeeding bond is just perfect. His feeding pattern reminds me of his big sister, Olivia but the amount he eats reminds me of his oldest sister, Ava. I feel so dang blessed to have been able to nourish and provide for all three of my babies! I feel even more blessed that we haven't faced major issues with breastfeeding. He's growing so well (clothing size is pretty evident) and we are going strong. We will be introducing solids in three months and I am so curious to see how that will change his nursing patterns. 

Sleep: We have finally found a good balance with maximizing Liam's nap schedule - keeping him swaddled, cuddling with mommy/daddy, or having the fans going while he's in his baby seat or carseat, ensures sound nap time sleeps. He doesn't like sleeping in a swing (he will tolerate it for a couple of minutes) and he does not like to feel "alone" when he sleeps. He is such a huge cuddle bug. Liam is still sleeping through the night and will suckle maybe once? Twice max without fully waking up. I am thankful that our son is an awesome sleeper. Following in the footsteps of his older siblings for sure.

Milestones: Head control. My son's head control is crazy good. We utilize tummy time just as often as he will allow and it is going so dang well. He has started touching and knocking his hand against some of the toys attached to the mat - its fun to watch. Over the last month I started placing a rattle in Liam's hand and he can hold onto it and grip it with such strength. We get so excited with each passing milestone and we celebrate his as a family, daily. We also busted out the bumbo to assist with sitting and head control - he didn't know how to feel about it but he did tolerate it. 

Things You Like: You like being in the Lillebaby (we introduced structured carriers a few weeks ago), you love when we kiss your sweet little cheeks, and when we encourage you to talk. You smile so big when when daddy imitates some of your little baby noises. You love when daddy pats your back after a good feed (that usually puts you to sleep), and you enjoy when your oldest sister, Ava sings you some of her preschool songs. You love smiling at your big sister, Olivia and she tries to smile even bigger when she's looking at you. Sucking on your hands has become a favorite lately, and I think Ed Sheeran is actually soothing for you? Either way, you don't seem to mind.

Liam Arthur: One month

How did we get here so fast? Yesterday marked the one month milestone in Liam's life - let me tell you, the last month has been bananas (in the best ways of course) and while my son has been growing, so have I. I have learned to be a little easy on myself, carry more grace than I do criticism, and take as much time/patience as I need to raise all three of my babies the best I can. That being said, Liam has been an absolute dream. This time last year we didn't know if we'd ever welcome another child into our family, and now here we are! As always, here's a rundown of the first four weeks with our newest babe. 

Week 1: We spent less than 48 hours of Liam's life in the hospital after he was born. This was the first time we'd ever left the hospital with one of our babies before that 48 hour mark. Liam nursed like a champ from the first latch, he was circumcised (I struggled with this decision heavily, and I still do) - Justin stayed with him during that procedure, and our son passed all those fresh 48 newborn tests the hospital administers. Coming home with Liam wasn't nearly as chaotic as I thought it would be. The kids' god mama was still here, Justin was still on paternity leave, and that left me with a lot of helping hands. I basically slept with Liam, changed him, and napped with our newbie constantly the first few days. I set three alarms in the middle of the night to change the babe, just for those first few days (I've done this with all three kids). We took our first family walk to the park, Liam had his first Moby wrap experience, and tummy time happened for the first time on his fifth day of life.

Week 2: Justin went back to work and this changed the whole dang game in our house. We did our first grocery shopping trip INSIDE a grocery store (I emphasize on this because I am a religious click list grocery orderer) and Liam did great.. he did start crying at check out, but I was able to wrap that up quickly and head to the car to nurse him. Liam had his two weeks check up with our NP and all went well. Gaining weight as he should, his level of alert behavior was noticed, and his circumcision area was healed correctly. I introduced the pacifier for car rides (Justin wasn't happy about this, but... sanity! and Liam doesn't care for it 98% of the time anyway). 

Liam Arthur: Birth Story

My son is over two weeks old and it has taken me every single day since his birth to feel emotionally ready to share this with the universe. Some days I still can't believe he's here and that he's completely healthy. That all the fear that I allowed to manifest during my pregnancy is no longer. As I write this, my perfect boy is nuzzled close to my chest. His sweet head of hair is close enough for me to kiss and I can breath in his newborn scent. He arrived with ten fingers, ten toes, and the moment I first saw him, the moment I first took him in - I bawled. Uncontrollably. He's alive. My son is here and he is alive. Those were the first thoughts racing through my mind. Having spent the last nine months in a high risk pregnancy that had already been subjected to loss was without a doubt the most terrifying experience of my life. I had no clue what our story would end up like. Silver linings in mind, at the end of it all - I would do it all over again if it meant I'd still get to meet my son.

As I've always done, I will keep the most intimate details of my birthing experience for myself, but I did want to share the moments that led us to welcoming our sweet, sweet son into the world. Most of you know that I opted for an induction this time around - the date was set for March 8th, 2018. This date is extremely special to our family because Liam shares a birth week with not only his mother, but his grandmother, and his great grandmother. March 5th, March 6th, March 7th, and we anxiously waited for the impending arrival of our peanut on March 8th. 

Justin and I arrived on the L & D floor at 4am. I remember it being so quiet. After filling out a quick "check in" paper, we were directed to our room. I got changed, Justin hung up the happy birthday sign, and I waited for the inevitable pokes and blood draws from the nursing staff. While they were trying to find a vein, I noticed they were getting it from the middle of my arm. Normally, that section where your arm and elbow connect is where I'm accustomed to getting poked from. Not this time. They kept going for my wrist, the top part of my arm, etc. It was weird.

Two nurses were unsuccessful in finding a vein, so they sent in a gentleman from the anesthesia department. He used this sonographic like tool to actually find a vein without poking and missing. I don't remember feeling him stick me at all (I found out later that he'd numbed the area pretty good). It was nice to be able to bend my arms during labor. I can't believe how much of a difference that made.

Pitocin was started after 5am and shortly after our birth photographer arrived. Keeping Liam's heart rate on the monitor consistently was a major pain and also created major setbacks during my labor. Each time I moved, had to use the restroom, or dare stand up - Liam's heart rate would stop tracking and a nurse would have to come in and readjust. If the readjusting took 10 minutes or longer, pitocin was stopped for thirty whole minutes. While the medication was turned off, they had to get thirty minutes of heart rate activity from our babe before they could restart the pitocin. The goal with induction is a safe delivery for mom and babe - I understood, but I would be lying if i said it wasn't frustrating. This situation happened at least four or five times throughout the day. Like i said, a major pain.

My midwife came in that morning to check on me and touch base (I would only see her again twice more throughout the day, once to break my water and another to deliver my baby), where she felt optimistic we would be welcoming our sweet boy before lunch... I am giggling thinking back on that comment. As lunch time approached, so did full blown labor. The pain was all too familiar and this time around my mind was so focused on all the thoughts I'd expressed to you earlier. Through each contraction Justin would hold me, let me hold him (a combo of both), and I would just breath through it. I remember my birth photographer telling me how amazing I was doing. I don't even really remember flinching at the initial contraction waves that poured in.

A couple hours later, the contractions were at a new level of intensity and I could feel my body changing along with my focus. Things were blurry. It was getting harder to maintain my cool disposition and I could feel Justin's eyes scanning my face - looking for some sort of direction. I had none. One of the nurses came in to check me and when she did.. this was the point where I felt completely defeated. I had no cervical change and maybe once centimeter gain in dilation. I remember her saying the words, "Very little change." That completely crushed the foundation I had built for this labor.

All of the thoughts of failure rushed through my head. My son not arriving by lunch, my cervix not dilating as I thought it would, and now all of this immeasurable pain...for what? My body wasn't doing what it was suppose to be doing. I cried through the next few sets of contractions. I cried, I held Justin, and I just kept calling myself a failure. Each time I said the world failure, Justin quickly redirected. Constantly reminding me that each labor experience is different and that there was no way I could fail.

I tried to block out those feelings, I tried hard to remind myself not to place expectations on birth... it was only then that I was able to mentally get myself back on track. Dinner time approached and as it did I felt complete exhaustion. I was not able to labor outside of the hospital bed and aside from the contractions, I was SO completely uncomfortable. I couldn't even turn around in the bed to labor - turning on my sides was the only option. Justin was becoming a pro at adjusting my monitors and helping me with the peanut labor ball. I'm pretty sure our birth photographer even helped him a little.

The next time I was checked I was sitting at 9cm and I was almost completely effaced. I felt my body transitioning in an all too familiar way. I felt pressure. I knew what this meant. I told Justin that I felt like I needed to push. I watched him hurry and race to find the stirrups. The nurse came rushing back in and aided with setting up the stirrups. She wanted me to try a couple practice pushes... only to discover that I was crowning. 

I WAS TOLD TO STOP PUSHING. My midwife was over ten minutes away and they did not want me delivering without her. I was so incredibly pissed off. You have no idea. I was sitting there, shaking, ready, and unable. The stirrups were pushed down. I was told not to push, just to breath. I did neither of those things. When the nurse left again to page my midwife, I began to push full force. Justin was in place ready to deliver our son if need be.

Our birth photographer was completely ready for Justin to deliver our son and totally supported our decision to allow things to naturally take place. While Justin did not get his "catch the baby" moment, our midwife did arrive before our son. The moment she came in, I pushed a total of three sets before his head was completely earth side. There was a little confusion in which way Liam was turning during delivery and I could feel extra time being taken while our midwife guided him earth side.

Just seconds later he was placed on my chest. After my own initial experience with our son, I looked to his father. Never have I seen Justin carry such emotion in his eyes. He looked worried, sad, relieved... he looked like he too had carried the weight of the world wondering if we'd ever get this moment. My words continue to fail me here, because I cannot fully bring myself to explain or express the moments after or all the moments in between. But I can say this. When our words fail us, photographs do not. Liam Arthur Howland arrived March 8th, 2018 at 8:52pm. 8 pounds 0.8 ounces of pure perfection and my feet have not touched the ground quite yet.

Pregnancy: 37 Weeks

Holy guacamole! This is the final stretch you guys. 21 days stand between me and the face-to-face meeting I'll be having with my little peanut. It feels surreal. Likely more surreal now that the days are passing by so quickly. Justin and I can't seem to wrap our heads around the fact that a third little will be in our home. Three babies! There has been a lot of reminiscing going on this last week in our home, that's for sure. We went from wondering if we'd ever be parents, to prepping for our third child together. Life is so incredibly wonderful that way. Anything can happen. That in mind, let's hit these updates - especially since I don't know if I'll be sharing anymore during this pregnancy (weird reading that last line, right?!). 

How far Along: 37 weeks

Nicknames for baby: Our little pickle, baby Liam, sweet boy, peanut

Size of baby: About the size of a bunch of swiss chard (over 6 pounds) 

Gender Prediction: It's a boy! Confirmed blood test at 12 weeks AND gender scan at 15 weeks. 

Symptoms: Pelvic pressure, hip pain, back pain... and I feel SO DANG TIRED. Oh, I almost forgot - charley horses are becoming far too frequent as well. In the last two weeks I've had three and they are PAINFUL!

Best moment this week: Justin and I had a little hoorah.. our first date night in over two years. Liam kicked almost the entire night! That time was so, so needed. It felt like a sliver of a baby moon.  

Movement: He's most active in the afternoon and night (and right after breakfast). I feel like his little toes are extending much higher near the breasts than the girls ever moved! Lots of kicking, rolling, and the normal jabbing. 

Food Cravings: None. Which is frustrating. I'll be staring off into space, thinking, "Hmm.. I could really go for something right now" ... and that something is never discovered. Worst feeling ever! 

Food Aversions: I am in the clear! 

What I Miss: I miss not having insomnia so frequently. I miss being able to sleep on my stomach/back/comfortably - i'd take any one of those three. I also miss not waking up and feeling like my entire body just fell down on top of my pelvic bones. Getting out of bed has required help from Justin - that is a definite first for me. 

Sleep: This current sleep cycle is killing me. So most nights I can't sleep due to insomnia and spend way too much time watching reruns of SVU. As a result I am so dang tired when I wake up and making it through the day without a nap is impossible. Repeat sleep cycle. 

Justin: Justin mapped out his work schedule so now we know how long he'll be home after baby is born. It's close to a full month and I know this man is so excited to soak in our life as a family of five. If you know my husband, you know that he is likely the least (outwardly) emotional person. He definitely reserves most of his vulnerable feelings for me and the kids. I'm totally fine with that because, well... not everyone should be able to reach us on deeper levels. Watching him prepare for our son has brought out a side of him that I didn't expect. I watch him turn to emotion a lot more when responding to certain situations. Not totally sure if its because we are become more seasoned in life, we are on our third kiddo, or simply because having a baby is emotional. Whatever the reason, it makes me wonder what type of emotion Justin will have meeting Liam for the first time. 

Ava: We just don't deserve this child. Seriously. Reflecting on my first born and talking with her about her baby brother coming has been so incredibly enlightening. After all, Ava is the reason we decided to try for more children in the first place. At a playdate earlier today, Ava was asked if she was excited for her baby brother to arrive and what she planned on doing to help with baby brother. Her response? "I'm excited for my baby brother and I'm going to help mommy clean and help dress him." Like seriously? She is perfection and I CANNOT stress to you how truly blessed we are to have this little girl. Ava continues to show the makings of an excellent role model - I couldn't be more proud of her. 

Olivia: We don't give this babe enough credit when it comes to understanding that our family dynamic will be changing here soon. Anytime she sees something blue, a baby purchase, or just smaller diapers - she shrieks and says, "For baby brother?!" and we nod our heads and she gets the biggest smile on her face. She still loves to have "bump" matches with her little brother and she'll put her head on my belly for a long while feeling him kick. 

What I am looking forward to this week: My OB appointment this week. I know my midwife will likely check my cervix again and I also have a ton of questions regarding delivery at the hospital we chose. More than that, I'm excited to be one week closer to meeting my son. 
 
Happy or moody most of the time: I feel happy, but I also feel incredibly anxious. I have been waiting months to meet my boy and I feel like all of these emotions and thoughts are hitting me full force all at one time. Sometimes the processing aspect gets the best of me, but I don't feel any less happy. I feel incredible - you know, physical pains aside.   

Pregnancy: 28 Weeks

Guys, I am flipping exhausted. I don't mean "sleepless night and I'll be tip top tomorrow" kind of exhausted. I mean, get a full night sleep and I'm still exhausted kind of exhausted. I know compared to my last two pregnancies, I am definitely on the go a lot more. I'm on my feet about 85% of the time, if not more and I constantly have something to do. My schedule tied into my tired... I am definitely feeling it. Currently, our entire house also has a cold/stomach bug. I've cleaned up more vomit, snot, and spilled beverages than I can count this weekend AND to make matters more interesting, my love is also super sick. Thankfully, he hasn't been throwing up, but still, he's down and I feel that too. On a positive note, we are just 84 days away from Liam's predicted due date and somehow I know those days are going to fly right on by! 

How Far Along: 28 weeks

Nicknames for baby: Our little pickle, baby Liam, sweet boy

Size of baby: About the size of a large eggplant (roughly 2 and 1/4 pounds)

Gender Prediction: It's a boy! Confirmed blood test at 12 weeks AND gender scan at 15 weeks.

Symptoms: Round ligament pains (ouch), infrequent morning sickness, BACK PAINS

Best moment this week: NESTING. We organized our in-room "nursery" for a baby boy.

Movement: ALL. THE. TIME. Liam is either rolling, kicking, or randomly jabbing me in the bladder

Food Cravings: Any type of chicken sandwich at this point. It's so dang terrible!

Food Aversions: Nothing ever really sounds good anymore. Just random thoughts of cravings.

What I Miss: Being able to sleep comfortably - I literally spend most of the night tossing and turning.

Sleep: I want to sleep every single minute of my life. This crazy level of exhaustion has hit and I am down for the count when the girls are asleep for naps, bedtime, OR when Justin is home - I sneak in the zzz's as often as possible.

Justin: This poor guy! He is totally sick (our entire house is lately, but it's seldom that Justin gets sick and when he does it's like he's lost a limb or something. Sorry babe, but its true) and as a result, I've taken on more than I normally do. But before Sunday, this guy went out to Lowe's to buy all replacement parts for our changing table for Liam, braved a Target trip at 8pm so I could get canvas basket organizers, and continued to have his regular talks with our boy. It is the absolute sweetest thing.

Ava: My sweet girl has reached the point of... "When is baby brother coming?" on a daily basis. She continues to watch my belly grow and her brother's kick becomes stronger... I don't think anyone in our family is more ready for Liam's arrival than Ava is. She's right beside me for each and every baby item setup (swing, bassinet, changing table, etc) and she's so excited that she's going to be a big sister again.

Olivia: I bought a big sister book for our Livy Bean this week and it was a HUGE hit. Watching her care for her dolls - loving on them, feeding them, and tucking them in. It is almost like she's preparing herself right alongside me. 

What I am looking forward to this week: Not having a scratchy throat, runny nose, and sick family. But also, the continued nesting that surfaced this past week. Seeing all of Liam's things come out of boxes is the most surreal feeling.

Happy or moody most of the time: I feel happy. I feel blessed. Something clicked this week and all of a sudden my Christmas spirit has emerged full force. Christmas movies, making gingerbread houses, and Christmas pajamas.. it feels good to feel a little more like myself during my favorite time of year. 

Pregnancy: 27 Weeks (Third Trimester)

Guys! I had my glucose test yesterday in addition to an OB appointment to check on our little pickle and all is well. I am measuring right where I should be, baby boy's heart rate was 150, and this mama is in good health. The only question I had for my midwife yesterday was about the start of the third trimester. Some physicians consider 27 weeks to be the start and others consider 28 weeks to be the start. With both of my girls I always celebrated this milestone at 28 weeks - to my surprise, our OB's office starts at 27... either way, I'm just 90 days out from my estimated due date and I'll be seeing my OB every two weeks from here on out. It is completely surreal to me how quickly this pregnancy has gone by AND it has officially become "GO" time for completing the baby check list. That being said, many have asked, so I compiled a quick virtual baby registry list on amazon. Click here ---> Liam's list!  Now let's dive into these deets!

How far Along: 27 weeks

Nicknames for baby: Our little pickle, baby Liam, sweet boy

Size of baby: about the size of a head of cauliflower

Gender Prediction: It's a boy! Confirmed blood test at 12 weeks AND gender scan at 15 weeks.

Symptoms: Round ligament pains (ouch), infrequent morning sickness

Best moment this week: Entering the third trimester AND being in the double digits countdown

Movement: ALL. THE. TIME. Liam is either rolling, kicking, or randomly jabbing me in the bladder

Food Cravings: The golden arches chicken sandwich.. ugh, it's a vicious 10pm craving

Food Aversions: Nothing ever really sounds good anymore. Just random thoughts of cravings!

What I Miss: Being able to sleep comfortably - I literally spend most of the night tossing and turning.

Sleep: I need to better about getting all the sleep I can get. I usually spend more time awake than I should and as a result I'm yawning before 10am.

Justin: I think it's hit him that we are really close to my due date. Last night Liam kicked Justin's hand so hard - I literally thought he was going to fall over from the shock. There are so many sweet reminders that we will soon be welcoming our son into the world - watching Justin's mind race about all the things is so adorable. 

Ava: She continues to talk about her brother pretty much daily. She sings to him, rubs my belly, kisses my belly, and asks questions about what he will look like. She loves all the little baby buys we've made and she reminds us CONSTANTLY that she cannot wait to be a big sister to a little baby brother Liam. 

Olivia: When new purchases for Liam arrive at the door, she looks at me and says, "Brother?" or sometimes she says, "Baby?" and it is seriously the cutest thing.
 

What I am looking forward to this week: Baby buys and making the final purchases needed for our son's arrival.

Happy or moody most of the time: I am a happy mama, but I am definitely in a Texas funk. I'm happy about my son, his continued good health, our family, and this irreplaceable time we have together. BUT, I am not happy about this "winter" weather, the area we live in, and being so far from home. I miss Washington SO much and I wish it wasn't such an overwhelming feeling, but as of late - it has been. My goal is to try really hard to focus on what matters and to keep my spirits high! Here's hoping I can make that happen soon.
 

Dear Liam: A letter to my unborn son

As I write this, I can feel your strong and continuous kicks. They told me that with an anterior placenta I may never feel your movement quite to this degree - I guess this is just a testament to how strong you already are. With your movement, I've been able to connect with you in a way that I've so desperately been waiting for... I know your daddy feels the same way too. We've had a lot of fear and uncertainty throughout our journey before now, but with each passing week, you never cease to amaze us with your continued growth and good health. I have allowed myself to imagine what your handsome little face will look like. Will you have my eyelashes? Your daddy's perfect eyebrows? Will your hair be that of your oldest sister, Ava? Or will you come out with bits of red like your big sister, Olivia? I lose sleep thinking about the first time we can affirm all of our questions. I can't wait to soak in every single detail of you. 

Something I want to share with you my little prince is just how nervous I am for your grand arrival. To be given the opportunity to raise your sisters' is the stuff of dreams. To be given the opportunity to raise and mold both of my daughters and a son... this is without a doubt the greatest blessing I have ever received. I want more than anything to be everything you need in this world and then some, but because I'll never mirror perfection, I know I'll fall short sometimes. That's a hard concept to swallow because you deserve the very best and I will spend the rest of my days trying to come as close as I possibly can to provide that. 

What I can always uphold no matter the circumstance is my unconditional love for you. You were created in love, happiness, and so much joy - it is my hope that your days are filled with the same substance. I may not have all the answers, but I will teach you everything I know and everything I've learned to be true in this lifetime. Just as your daddy was your sisters' first love, I pray to god that I am yours. You haven't even made your way earth side yet and I'm crazy about you, kiddo.

Raising a son is a brand new experience for me, but I'm hoping you can bear with me as we grew together. Superheroes and monster trucks are uncharted territories, but for you - I'm willing to learn and engage in any way that you want. I promise (just as I have with your sisters') to let you find yourself, be yourself, and to encourage you to be proud of what you believe in. I hope to instill in you a driving force to be compassionate, strong, humble, and kind. I am your mother because I gave you life, but I can only hope to also become your confidant through the bond we create with one another. 

These next few words I share with you will be the saving grace for us both and the sole reason why we may already be a little ahead on the learning curve with your path to becoming not only an amazing human being but also, eventually, a man.

Your daddy, (and I mean this with every single thing I have), is the absolute best man I have ever known. He loves with such pure and untainted conviction- you will never have to question whether you are loved, wanted, or accepted. He will make it his life's mission to ensure that you learn what it means to hold yourself accountable and take responsibility for your actions. He will teach you the importance behind opening the doors for young ladies, and no doubt you'll know how to throw a football (just like your sisters' did) before you learn to run. He will tell you how proud he is, even if you feel like you've failed... he'll be there to remind you that losing is always apart of the process. He will teach you that pride is never a bad thing, as long as you never allow it to compromise your self-respect. He will remind you (as will I) that it is 100% okay to cry and always acceptable to express how you feel.

One more thing, every single day you open your eyes - we will never fail to remind you how much you mean to us and how much we love you. 

Your conception has been one of the most healing experiences of my entire life and I thank you for bringing so much light into some of my darkest days. 

Each night I sing your sisters' "You are my sunshine" and each night you kick alongside my words. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, look into your eyes, and sing those familiar words to you. 

Love, 

Mommy

Liam Arthur Howland

This past week Justin and I decided we were finally ready to announce the name of our sweet boy, and man did we get TONS of responses. My mother's family, my father's family, my husband's family, and a good amount of our friends - everyone had some type of feedback to give (most of which was extremely positive). Just to answer everyone's questions in one place, I wanted to give a little background on the name we chose. Liam was decided before we had even discovered that Olivia would be a girl. We chose this name a couple of years ago and for some reason, Liam was always the top contender for a boy name. We don't personally know anyone named Liam (though I do have a couple friends who have named their little ones Liam), the meaning of the name is absolutely beautiful, and it also has a bit of Justin's heritage to top it off. 

Now for the middle name. The middle name situation was just weeks of changes. We wanted our son to have the name of someone we loved, admired, and someone we would be proud to honor. Initially, the middle name was going to be Arthur - BUT because this might be our last baby, I also wanted to make sure we made the right choice. This is our first time naming a little boy and it was much harder than naming the girls. With both girls, it was a no brainer, I knew I'd choose my maternal and paternal grandmothers. With Liam, I was conflicted between a name from my family and of course suggesting Justin choose a name from his.

Justin is very easy going with middle names and has always allowed me to take the front seat by choosing. This time around, I really wanted to extend him the same courtesy. One night I was going through pictures of Justin as a baby and a plethora of photos of his grandfather, Papoo fell into my lap. That's when I knew our first choice was the right choice. I only have a handful of memories from Pop, but they are all good. Justin was privileged enough to have had his grandfather for over 24 years of his life - a rarity for a lot of us. He knew his grandfather was proud and I'll never forget the first time I saw Justin taking a seat at the "big guy" table. Exchanging stories of deployment, military memories, and cracking open a cold one alongside the men that had been able to watch Justin become a man. 

I'm so proud of the name we chose for our son and I'm even more proud that we are able to honor a great man.